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Son, 16yo wants to live with me.

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jeff1surfs

Junior Member
What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?California

My sixteen year old son has lived with his biological mother (ex-wife) since the divorce over four years ago. He sincerely wishes to move in with me at this time. We have a great relationship, we snowboard, go to the desert to ride our ATV's, we camp, fish, work out at the gym. I pick him up about five days a week. He has been with me almost every weekend for the last two months. I go to his school, deal with his teachers, ensure he does homework etc.

The situation is, I have paid his mother as per court order, $586.00 a month since 2000. She is financially strapped, working two jobs. What can I do to insure a change of custody without to much stress on my son? Him being sixteen can he just move in? What legal avenues must I take? What issues can I expect?
Should I just get a lawyer?

Any help is surely appreciated,
thanks for reading
 


brisgirl825

Senior Member
While the court will listen to his wishes, they will not based its decision solely based on his wants.
What is your change of circumstance?
 

jeff1surfs

Junior Member
good question

He has not been getting along with his mother, being disrespectful, not calling her to let her know where he is. I have intervened on numerous occasions by telling him to respect his mother, talking with her on the phone and relaying my dislike for his behaviour towards his mother.
He realizes his mother was the reason for the divorce and now has become somewhat angry at her for his circumstances.

He listens to me, he respects me and the decisions I have made for myself and him.
I also was planning on purchasing a home, and my son has been wanting to live with me for some time. Now with this home purchase, he will be helping us buy a bigger home, by the fact of the support staying with him and I.

I thought as soon as he turned 13 he was emancipated and could choose to live with either parent.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
jeff1surfs said:
He has not been getting along with his mother, being disrespectful, not calling her to let her know where he is. I have intervened on numerous occasions by telling him to respect his mother, talking with her on the phone and relaying my dislike for his behaviour towards his mother.
He realizes his mother was the reason for the divorce and now has become somewhat angry at her for his circumstances.

He listens to me, he respects me and the decisions I have made for myself and him.
I also was planning on purchasing a home, and my son has been wanting to live with me for some time. Now with this home purchase, he will be helping us buy a bigger home, by the fact of the support staying with him and I.

I thought as soon as he turned 13 he was emancipated and could choose to live with either parent.
Look, I know you didn't mean it that way....but I judge would literally total you in court if the judge had any clue whatsoever that no longer paying child support was a factor in your case. A judge would literally total you in court if the judge believed that the ability to buy a bigger house because you no longer had to pay child support, was a factor.

And no, a child is not emancipated at 13 and does not get to choose where they want to live at 13. The age for that is 18. However, its likely that the judge will take your son's wishes into consideration to at least some extent in making his/her decision. However if the judge believes that your son's wishes are due to a "grass is greener" mentality the judge might not give your son's wishes any weight at all.

So....you have to file for custody and take it to court.....which means that you are probably going to have to say goodbye to the money you saved up for a downpayment on a house. Your son is going to be 18 in less than 2 years.....maybe it would be better to wait. He CAN choose then.
 

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