Son assaulted -- School Not Doing Enough!!!

[cozyheart]

What is the name of your state? New York City

My 12-year-old son was kicked in the groin in school. It was deliberate. The school believes the student responsible for this should only receive a weeks worth of detention. I have been advocating for suspension but my pleas are falling on deaf ears. I am thinking of filing assault and battery charges against the student however I have some concerns.

THE INCIDENT

My son and a group of friends were in the schoolyard during recess. A 12-year-old girl calls my sons name she says, “Hey, ??? look at that.” He turns his head to look and she kicks him in the groin. He falls to his knees begins crying and is rolling on the floor. She is standing above him and laughing. He finally catches his breath and is taken to the principal’s office. He relays to the principal what happens and the student who kicked him is sent for. The principal questions the student and she tells the principal that my son was not bothering her he did nothing to her she just felt like kicking him. The principal issues a week worth of detentions to this student. This I feel is not a severe enough punishment. I relayed that to the principal and her attitude is ohhh she did cause she liked him. Please gimme a break. Geez what would she do if she didn’t like him. The punishment she issued is pretty much the same issued when a child misses a homework assignment. Oh, by the way this is a Catholic School. So, I pay for my son to be abused!!


My son was badly bruised and is going to the doctors. We do not yet know if there is any permanent damage. Can I and should I file assault and battery charges with the police? If I can and should file charges is there a statue of limitations on how quickly I have to file charges? This incident happened Friday, March 24 and for the most part I have been dealing with the school. However my husband, mother and sister seem to think that this falls under assault and battery. FYI, her father is a police officer in the precinct that covers my area. Also, should I sue the school and/or the girl’s family?



What is the name of your state?

 

[enjay]

I'll probably get bashed for this, but as the parent of a 12 year old myself, I wouldn't do anything that would subject my child to further ridicule unless I was prepared to remove him from the school.

 

[cozyheart]

My son did nothing wrong. Wondering if your 12 year old is a girl. Also if a boy kicked her in the groin would you be so cavelier.

 

[enjay]

My son did nothing wrong. Wondering if your 12 year old is a girl. Also if a boy kicked her in the groin would you be so cavelier.

Nope, my kid is a boy. Have you asked your son what he wants you to do? I know without a doubt that my kid would rather handle it himself than have me jump in and press charges because someone kicked him where it counts. It would be different if this were an ongoing, bullying situation, but that certainly doesn't appear to be the case based upon what you posted.

 

[snostar]

What is the name of your state? New York City
Can I and should I file assault and battery charges with the police?

You can, and the choice is up to you.

If I can and should file charges is there a statue of limitations on how quickly I have to file charges?

Yes, , the statute of limitations for an intentional assault in New York is 1 year.

However my husband, mother and sister seem to think that this falls under assault and battery.

The charge would be determined by the DA.

Also, should I sue the school and/or the girl’s family?

Sue for what??

 

[Just Blue]

Nope, my kid is a boy. Have you asked your son what he wants you to do? I know without a doubt that my kid would rather handle it himself than have me jump in and press charges because someone kicked him where it counts. It would be different if this were an ongoing, bullying situation, but that certainly doesn't appear to be the case based upon what you posted.

I don't know...I am a firm believer in letting kids handle things themselves...but this girl needs to be tought a lesson...I would press charges...IMHO...

 

[ellencee]

What is the name of your state? New York City

My 12-year-old son was kicked in the groin in school. It was deliberate. The school believes the student responsible for this should only receive a weeks worth of detention. I have been advocating for suspension but my pleas are falling on deaf ears. I am thinking of filing assault and battery charges against the student however I have some concerns.

THE INCIDENT

My son and a group of friends were in the schoolyard during recess. A 12-year-old girl calls my sons name she says, “Hey, ??? look at that.” He turns his head to look and she kicks him in the groin. He falls to his knees begins crying and is rolling on the floor. She is standing above him and laughing. He finally catches his breath and is taken to the principal’s office. He relays to the principal what happens and the student who kicked him is sent for. The principal questions the student and she tells the principal that my son was not bothering her he did nothing to her she just felt like kicking him. The principal issues a week worth of detentions to this student. This I feel is not a severe enough punishment. I relayed that to the principal and her attitude is ohhh she did cause she liked him. Please gimme a break. Geez what would she do if she didn’t like him. The punishment she issued is pretty much the same issued when a child misses a homework assignment. Oh, by the way this is a Catholic School. So, I pay for my son to be abused!!


My son was badly bruised and is going to the doctors. We do not yet know if there is any permanent damage. Can I and should I file assault and battery charges with the police? If I can and should file charges is there a statue of limitations on how quickly I have to file charges? This incident happened Friday, March 24 and for the most part I have been dealing with the school. However my husband, mother and sister seem to think that this falls under assault and battery. FYI, her father is a police officer in the precinct that covers my area. Also, should I sue the school and/or the girl’s family?



What is the name of your state?

Kids are not small adults. They act on impulse. They do things that boggle the adult mind.

Why would a 12 year-old girl call a boy's name and then kick him in the groing? probably to get his attention. Why? probably because she likes him and he wasn't paying her any attention. There was no intent to cause real injury or to harm your son in any way.

I doubt it was anything but one of those stupid things kids do.

You should not sue anyone. You should write down this event and keep your note in a safe place so that in a year or two or three or four when your son kicks a friend in the groin, you can read the note and remember that kids do stupid things.

EC

 

[ajritter04]

I don't know...I am a firm believer in letting kids handle things themselves...but this girl needs to be tought a lesson...I would press charges...IMHO...

+1 what is this girl going to be like in 5-10 yrs? IF she doesn't learn now that doing that for a laugh is wrong, what is she going to think about beating, stabbing and possible killing?

 

[Compteacher]

Dont want to sound like I am flaming you or being rude but**************.

My son is already 17. When we was 12-13, had this happened to him, I would have questioned the detention only punishment, as you did, however, at that age, kids can be so mean. I really would ask your son what he feels about this. Having the parents take over a situation sometimes makes the child a target for further issues. You son may have already worked this out and moved on.

 

[badapple40]

And besides, you didn't really want grandkids anyways, right?

 

[GaAtty]

In my opinion, this is what juvenile courts are made for. Notice that I am speaking from experience in my state, Georgia. "Pressing charges" means that you will make a complaint with the juvenile court. Usually, their investigator will get the case. If it goes to juvenile court, he will not get a serious sentence if this is a first offense. They may put him on probation for a while. Then when he is 17, he can petition the court to remove it from his record if he has behaved himself. The probation and possibility of removal from the record is incentive to behave himself (of course it doesn't always work). It is also incentive to not retaliate against your kid (an important thing to consider). Having had a similar situation once with my child, the parent called me (after first asking the investigator) and apologized for her kid, had the kid on the phone and he apologized, and asked to bring him over to my house in person. They came, and both apologized. We dropped the charges against him, but not against the other two who were unrepentant, and they received probation for a year, and part of the probation was to stay away from my kid. It worked. Remember, you don't just want punishment. You want future deterrence, and you want that person to not retaliate against your kid.

 

[Just Blue]

+1 what is this girl going to be like in 5-10 yrs? IF she doesn't learn now that doing that for a laugh is wrong, what is she going to think about beating, stabbing and possible killing?

YES!!...I have a teenaged daughter...I can NOT imagine her ever doing something like this without being provoked...And if she did...she wouln't sit for a week!!

 

[Quaere]

GaAtty you said it all exactly as I would have said. It is not as though the suspect is going to be sentenced to death if the incident is reported. People who deal with this particular behavior all the time, should be the ones to determine what to do about the report.

I also agree with those that said you should find out how your son feels about his options, though I do not agree that a child should be the one to make the call.

Sometimes an incident like this is the best way to teach a child about his rights as a victim. If he is concerned that he will endure peer pressure from excercising his rights, it's a good opportunity to teach him how to handle THAT problem as well. That lesson in turn, prepares him for standing up to peers when he's older.

All of the kids who witnessed that incident and heard about the resulting consequences, have recieved a message that "nothing much will be done" should they decide to commit an assualt and battery at some point.

It's a SCHOOL and the SCHOOL ought to be interested in EDUCATING their students about the consequences they MAY be subject to when they break the law.

Personally, I have zero tolerance for physical violence. Particularly when it comes to children and a TWELVE year old is far beyond the age where I would treat her as if she didn't know the seriousness of her actions. She knew. She just ASSUMED no one would take any real action.

Where did she get THAT idea? Probably from witnessing similar incidents that resulted in minimal consequences. And it goes on and on and on.

You've been handed a fantastic opportunity to teach your son how to handle an uncounter with an uncivilized individual. What you do or do NOT do, is going to send him a message that WILL influence how he handles the rest of his life.