ArkansasDad
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Arkansas
My son asked me if his step-father was really going to adopt him. I asked him why he would think that was going to happen and he told me that his mother told him that his step-father was going to adopt him. I did not allow the conversation to go any further. For one, I couldn't handle it myself. That was one of the most hurtful things I have ever had to hear. I don't know if my son knows what it means to be adopted or if his mother explained that to him or if she only said enough to him to be sure he would repeat it to me.
I don't believe that this could ever happen because I do exercise every single visitation that I am entitled to and would jump at any opportunity for even one spare second for more time with him. I am extremely active in his school life, more than his mother is. I volunteer at his school as often as possible. I pay my child support religiously and even received an overpayment check a couple months ago. I provide most if not all of his medical care. His counseling records indicate that he greatly enjoys the time he spends with me and that he even needs a more frequent positive role model in his life. Doesn't that mean that his step-father, even though he lives in the same house, isn't really being there for him frequent enough?
I know that anything my son tells me is only he said/she said stuff. But this is really hurtful to me and he was really bothered it. But with the counseling not being regular like it supposed to be (by court order and counselor recommendation) there's no records of it.
There are other things also that are all he said/she said things that I believe my son about simply because he is too upset about them for him to be playing games on them. But I don't really want to go into it all right now. This whole adoption thing is the hardest and most hurtful.
Is there any way at all to do anything about it? Am I wrong in believing that there is no way she could actually have her husband adopt my son? There is proven abuse in her home, although she was the offender, not her husband. I know that my son does call him "Dad" because he has slipped up a couple of times around me and that hurt also. But what can I do or say about that? My son has never been allowed to call my wife "Mom" because we felt that was disrespectful to his mother, regardless of our feelings about her. My son has a closer relationship with my wife than he does with his own mother and even asked why he couldn't call my wife "Mom" and we had to explain to him because you didn't grow in her belly, you grew in her heart and that would hurt your Mom's feelings and be disrespectful. Does the fact that he calls his step-dad "Dad" help her if she does try to have him adopt my son?
My son asked me if his step-father was really going to adopt him. I asked him why he would think that was going to happen and he told me that his mother told him that his step-father was going to adopt him. I did not allow the conversation to go any further. For one, I couldn't handle it myself. That was one of the most hurtful things I have ever had to hear. I don't know if my son knows what it means to be adopted or if his mother explained that to him or if she only said enough to him to be sure he would repeat it to me.
I don't believe that this could ever happen because I do exercise every single visitation that I am entitled to and would jump at any opportunity for even one spare second for more time with him. I am extremely active in his school life, more than his mother is. I volunteer at his school as often as possible. I pay my child support religiously and even received an overpayment check a couple months ago. I provide most if not all of his medical care. His counseling records indicate that he greatly enjoys the time he spends with me and that he even needs a more frequent positive role model in his life. Doesn't that mean that his step-father, even though he lives in the same house, isn't really being there for him frequent enough?
I know that anything my son tells me is only he said/she said stuff. But this is really hurtful to me and he was really bothered it. But with the counseling not being regular like it supposed to be (by court order and counselor recommendation) there's no records of it.
There are other things also that are all he said/she said things that I believe my son about simply because he is too upset about them for him to be playing games on them. But I don't really want to go into it all right now. This whole adoption thing is the hardest and most hurtful.
Is there any way at all to do anything about it? Am I wrong in believing that there is no way she could actually have her husband adopt my son? There is proven abuse in her home, although she was the offender, not her husband. I know that my son does call him "Dad" because he has slipped up a couple of times around me and that hurt also. But what can I do or say about that? My son has never been allowed to call my wife "Mom" because we felt that was disrespectful to his mother, regardless of our feelings about her. My son has a closer relationship with my wife than he does with his own mother and even asked why he couldn't call my wife "Mom" and we had to explain to him because you didn't grow in her belly, you grew in her heart and that would hurt your Mom's feelings and be disrespectful. Does the fact that he calls his step-dad "Dad" help her if she does try to have him adopt my son?
