Sports schedules, somewhat O/T

[olhobbes]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Not a legal question, but I hope to take advantage of the experience and legal know-how of the folks who have been through this stuff before.

Brief summary of CO: Mom / Dad 50/50 legal and physical custody. Week on/week off schedule.

Dad ( me ) signed minor up for a sport after speaking with mom regarding potentially changing schedule on a temp basis to accommodate for practices / games. Everyone in agreement at this point. Then mom gets mad at dad, and rescinds her commitment, depriving daughter of some practices and games ( I understand this is legal, not my question ).

My question: How do I discuss this with the minor? I don't want to say anything which might harm her relationship with her mother, yet I don't know how to discuss this with her without mentioning mom's actions. Minor was present when we originally discussed modifying the schedule so she's expecting it and I obviously don't want to include her in the disagreement which led to mom getting mad at me. At the same time, child deserves to know the truth ( mom has since decided not to allow it ), as I can't take responsibility for mom's actions.

I am more concerned with my child's well being here, although I am also concerned about saying the wrong thing and running afoul of any "Alienation" issues as well.

Thanks in advanced.

( oh, and please feel free to be as brutal as you like. Contrary opinions are valued )

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CA

Not a legal question, but I hope to take advantage of the experience and legal know-how of the folks who have been through this stuff before.

Brief summary of CO: Mom / Dad 50/50 legal and physical custody. Week on/week off schedule.

Dad ( me ) signed minor up for a sport after speaking with mom regarding potentially changing schedule on a temp basis to accommodate for practices / games. Everyone in agreement at this point. Then mom gets mad at dad, and rescinds her commitment, depriving daughter of some practices and games ( I understand this is legal, not my question ).

My question: How do I discuss this with the minor? I don't want to say anything which might harm her relationship with her mother, yet I don't know how to discuss this with her without mentioning mom's actions. Minor was present when we originally discussed modifying the schedule so she's expecting it and I obviously don't want to include her in the disagreement which led to mom getting mad at me. At the same time, child deserves to know the truth ( mom has since decided not to allow it ), as I can't take responsibility for mom's actions.

I am more concerned with my child's well being here, although I am also concerned about saying the wrong thing and running afoul of any "Alienation" issues as well.

Thanks in advanced.

( oh, and please feel free to be as brutal as you like. Contrary opinions are valued )

Let Mom handle it?

Just off the top of my head.

 

[cheesecake46580]

Either give mom all practice and game info or e mail it sh she has it take the child on moms time with the gear and I agree let mom handle it. If your child gets upset about it just explain to her that you and mom parent differently and you are sorry about that. That is about all you can do other than go to court and get the extra things like this handled when they come up surely you to of the court and figure somthing out. I have been dealing with this very issue for years ugh.....I wish kids could be kids this is a part of growing up.

 

[grasshoppa]

Let Mom handle it?

Just off the top of my head.

Ah..the situation is a bit more complicated than that ( but I guess it always is ). In the past I have utilized the phrase "You'll have to ask your mother about that" quite frequently, only to have mom confuse our child further with stories where I'm the one that doesn't want her to go to games/practices/events/ect... This is notable because I *do* end up contradicting mom to our child in effort to correct her, and I hate doing so. Plus, at 11, our child is becoming aware of mom's proclivity towards inventiveness, and I feel bad not telling her the facts up front ( mom agreed, now mom doesn't, and leaving off the rest of it ). Like I'm complicit in mom's behavior somehow.

But I guess this is just another stresser to deal with when it comes to her mother. I was just hoping someone had a better solution than this.

 

[cheesecake46580]

I wish I did and my situation is like yours as well and my daughter is also 11 I have gone to the bat for her and so far have won that she can do school sports ect that pertains to school and it was well worth it and now she is in middle school there are lots of opportunities. I know my daughter was very angry about this very topic. I wish I had better wisdom for you than this but all I can say is do your best to talk to her and have mom explain why she can't play