spousal support

[sad1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? pa
can you tell me more about filing for spousal support? My husband and I were trying to work things out ourselves, but he is making it really hard and I filed under the suggestion of quite a few people today. I don't really understand what all it involves and if it will make our situation worse. he has not get served me with divorce papers. is this a good idea or might it just bring on bad divorce. I don't want a divorce only to make sure i can make it through this without going bankrupt. he will make significantly more than me this year and next.

 

[nextwife]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? pa
can you tell me more about filing for spousal support? My husband and I were trying to work things out ourselves, but he is making it really hard and I filed under the suggestion of quite a few people today. I don't really understand what all it involves and if it will make our situation worse. he has not get served me with divorce papers. is this a good idea or might it just bring on bad divorce. I don't want a divorce only to make sure i can make it through this without going bankrupt. he will make significantly more than me this year and next.

How long was the marriage?

 

[sad1]

3 years. it would just be spousal support throughout the divorce process. I don't have any money to even move out or pay for a lawyer. He is paying the bills still on his own free will, but he is acting weirder and weirder about things and he usually helps me with money. I just want to make sure he continues to pay for everything.

 

[sad1]

by the way---- how long does it take to get served with divorce papers usually?

 

[nextwife]

36 MONTHS? That's IT?

Why don't you go back to doing whatever it was you were doing to pay your bills 37 months ago? Are you employed - or at least LOOKING?

 

[sad1]

wow you are pretty brutal for someone going through something so painful.

I do have a job. we just bought a big house and have a lot of animals. he has helped me the whole time we have been together before we got married. This was very sudden. we had just bought cars and worked on the house which we planned on staying in for a long time. We also both have student loans we didn't have when we first starting dating. I just cannot afford to move out of our place with all my bills right now on my own. He paid for a lot for me. I guess you think applying for spousal support is a mistake.... We haven't even discussed what we are doing with the house, or our stuff or the bills yet.

 

[ariastar]

After just three years you'll be lucky to get a dime in spousal support.

If you both want to work it out, but you think he's making it difficult, it may be cheaper and easier in the long run to go to a professional for help. You know, marriage counseling. If neither of you really know how to talk through tough situations, then you both may perceive the other as being difficult about things. A counselor will help. If you have insurance, insurance might even pay for it.

For right now, ignore those people who are so easy to say just divorce. Marriages should NOT be seen as disposable, no matter what people like Britney Spears and whoever-the-hell-else in Dummywood have to say about it.

 

[mistoffolees]

3 years. it would just be spousal support throughout the divorce process. I don't have any money to even move out or pay for a lawyer. He is paying the bills still on his own free will, but he is acting weirder and weirder about things and he usually helps me with money. I just want to make sure he continues to pay for everything.

You're not likely to get spousal support after 3 years - unless there's some unusual circumstance like you becoming permanently disabled during the marriage and him having lots of money.

In general, your best bet is to go out and get a job NOW so you can support yourself. He doesn't (and shouldn't, IMHO) have to.

You MAY be able to get a court order for a temporary agreement for while the divorce is pending (getting legal expenses paid out of marital funds shouldn't be too hard), but don't count on it. Get a job.

 

[sad1]

I have a job. we just have a lot of debt and bills. He usually pays them all since he makes a lot more money than me. all of this is sudden, so we were still preparing to stay together and handle it together.

I am not looking for permanant spousal support, just throuhg the divorce. I want to make it work, but he does not want to go to counseling. I am going on my own at this point. I keep hoping maybe things will change in the meantime. but I am afraid filing for spousal support will only make him angry. but that is what my lawyer told me to do. I may withdraw it afterall. I don't want this divorce. I am just heartbroken.

 

[Farfalla]

In general, your best bet is to go out and get a job NOW so you can support yourself. He doesn't (and shouldn't, IMHO) have to.

You MAY be able to get a court order for a temporary agreement for while the divorce is pending (getting legal expenses paid out of marital funds shouldn't be too hard), but don't count on it. Get a job.

She has a job. He's left, is running up bills all over the place and has left her with most of the obligations to deal with.

She is only talking aobut pre-trial support, or interim-support, until the divorce is final. She needs money or an attorney, bills need to get paid, she needs money to move out.

 

[Farfalla]

sad1,

Since you started a new thread for this question your story is lost. Stay with one thread so that people understand your situation. Perhaps you could give a recap from your original thread here.