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Spouse's assets?

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stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Well, the visitation order is in effect until it's modified, but it may not be particularly practical depending on the distance involved. SO he needs to modify it, and then enforce his time.

Going back to the support for a moment..... I suspect he never looked at what the state support guidelines were, which is why it seems like she's getting too much now. And really, she was right in filing for it to be ordered and taken care of "officially" to make sure that the kids were being taken care of as the guidelines require. The way it works is that the first order takes precedence. So, for example, you are in the position to file for support from him, what he pays to her will be taken off the top before the guidelines are applied. She probably figured it was important to get her foot in that door before there was a chance for you to file for support on your child. And...... whether you agree with it or not, it's not a wrong way to look at it.
 


nomoBMdrama

Junior Member
Dynomight...

I agree with you. The child support laws do need to be revised.....

Glad that there was someone on here who could relate. :)
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
nomoBMdrama said:
His lawyer was one of his frat brothers who really didn't seem to help much and family law wasn't exactly his area anyway.
So why would he stay with him if he wasn't qualified in that area of law? He has no one to blame but himself on that one.
 
You are both absolutely right they need to be revised to see that dead beat dads understand their obligations before heading into another relationship and have even more children they can not or do not take care of. Just wait your day will come when he leaves you for the next one down the line and another child and then you are in line waiting on the checks to buy the kids clothing.

Children are an 18 year commitment regardless of any of the other things you whine about. When you had your own child YOU knew there were others and that with those others came obligations that were a priority over your own child.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
freespeech said:
You are both absolutely right they need to be revised to see that dead beat dads understand their obligations before heading into another relationship and have even more children they can not or do not take care of. Just wait your day will come when he leaves you for the next one down the line and another child and then you are in line waiting on the checks to buy the kids clothing.
Idjit - did you read the part where he WAS paying prior to the order? Not quite a deadbeat.
 

LdiJ

Senior Member
Ok....I am going to weigh in on this one.

I cringe every time I hear/see the words "move on".

In the first place they almost always come from a woman...which disappoints me. Either a woman who is trying to cut out the father of her children....or from a stepmother/fiance/girlfriend who doesn't understand that her husband/fiance/boyfriend can't or shouldn't have started a new family with her when he couldn't afford to support the kids he already had.

Yes....it unlikely that dad is going to be jailed as long as he is paying something...however, if he doesn't start making progress on those arrearages the odds increase....plus, they will just get bigger and bigger and bigger due to interest. CS should be his/your first priority, not his/your last priority. Remember, those arrearages go on his credit report and will have reprecussions for the rest of his life. That doesn't just effect him, but it also effects you as well. If he continues to place CS last on his priority list...then you may very well end up having to seriously dip into your assets to pay his purge amount some day to get him out of jail.

A friend of mine is STILL paying (10 years later) on a loan she took out to pay her then husband's "purge". They are no longer married...but the loan was in her name and she is stuck with it.

On top of that, how can he expect to maintain a strong, ongoing relationship with his children when he just chose to move to another state?...and yes, he needs to file a motion to modify visitation based on the new circumstances and the distance he created.

When someone dies, their available social security benefits are evenly divided between all of their children. The same applies if they end up on SSDI...the benefits for children are evenly divided between all of the children.

If you want your life to be normal and uneventful then makes sure that he pays his child support on time, every time....and make sure that he makes significant progress on those arrearages...now...not later. You will both be much happier (and have a healthier financial life) in the long term.
 

nomoBMdrama

Junior Member
Freespeech

Well Freespeech, I don't see that day coming for me b/c unlike many of these women I chose not to have any children until I knew I was financially stable enough to take care of them on my own if need be. If my hubby left me today I'd be just fine WITHOUT support. I do understand that his ex needs the support b/c she makes less money and has no degree but has 4 kids (1 that she recently just had with another man who has 3 other kids of his own from a previous relationship...oh, and they're not married). I know that things "just happen" sometimes and there are many children who are unplanned (such as my own who is my FIRST priority) but women really need to start thinking more about these things before they let themselves get into such situations.

Thank you again everyone for all of your responses...they've been very helpful and enlightening!
 

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