Spouse's assets?

[nomoBMdrama]

What is the name of your state? Missouri

Hi all. My husband is currently obligated to pay his ex-girlfriend child support for their 3 children. We recently moved to Missouri (the children reside in Arkansas, which is where we just moved from) and he fell a little behind in his payments. But he is making his payments now, although not always the full amount. She has threatened to have him put in jail for his missed payments and not paying the amount set by the order. Believe me I do not want to see him go to jail for this. But it's hard for me to help b/c we also have a daughter and a house, which I pay the mortgage on. He pays the house bills and is paying off other personal debt to get his credit straightened out, so that has played a major part in him not paying the full amount of his child support. Anyway, my question is if he gets put in jail and they say he can't get out until the amount is paid in full (b/c this is what I've heard) can they come after any of my assets for the missed payments?

It just seems the judge cares little about what else the father has on his plate i.e. other financial obligations.

 

[stealth2]

You're not responsible for his support payments. However, if he IS jailed for nonpayment, then your options are pretty limited - let him sit in jail or pay the amount the court states he needs to pay to get out.

So how much of this debt did he accrue while knowing he had a support obligation? (Yes, I'm including the house and the kid you share.)

 

[nomoBMdrama]

Well, as of now he is around $4900 behind in payments. Some of that is due to back support that he was hit with when he went to court. As far as that he's recently accrued, I would say less than $2000. When we moved and he got a new job, it took a while for the child support office to start taking money from his check so he missed some (I know he could have sent them in own his own but in the midst of everything that didn't always happen).

Also, does the judge take into consideration anything else such as his new home where he pays bills and children that he and I may have together? What about his financial obligations to us? Or do they count us out of the picture for the most part?

 

[nomoBMdrama]

Oh, and I forgot to mention something...not sure if it makes a difference. But he wasn't ordered to pay the child support until after we got married, had our child, and bought our home. Although I do understand children aren't cheap and need financial support from both parents it really seems that a lot of it was done out of spite on her part.

 

[stealth2]

Also, does the judge take into consideration anything else such as his new home where he pays bills and children that he and I may have together? What about his financial obligations to us? Or do they count us out of the picture for the most part?

He presumably knew of his CS obligation before he took on additional obligations such as a new home, a wife and more children. An existing support obligation is his FIRST priority. For example, if he had car payments to make, the lender of that money wouldn't give a flying fig if he decided to have another kid, buy a house, etc. He'd still be obligated to make the payment.

(edit) It really would help to have the information in one shot rather than piecemeal. He still knew this child was out there, right? And it didn't occur to him that he might have a responsibility?

 

[freespeech]

In addition YOU knew he had obligations when YOU married him and YOU had yet another child by a man who does not feel any compulsion to make sure the ones he has are taken care of.

Face it in any courts eyes you and your child are second to the ones he already made.

 

[nomoBMdrama]

More questions

Ok. So if he continues to make payments even if it's not always the amount he's been ordered to pay, is there still a good chance he could get thrown in jail? Also, can any of our things such as life insurance policies we have on one another be affected by all this? His BM also stated that if he was to pass away she would get some of his social security since she has his children....is this true?

Sorry for all the questions but this is all so new to me and I'm desperate for answers.

 

[stealth2]

Life insurance shouldn't be an issue. Yes, his other kids would be eligible for benefits from the government if he should die - though I'm really not clear on the details of that.

Somehow I originally missed the part that he had THREE kids with this woman. Surely he knew that he had a responsibility to help support them prior to having another child with you and entering into an obligation wrt buying a house - even if the order hadn't been made yet. I could see an argument that he didn't know if it was one kid that he didn't know about, but three? Ya know?

(edit) Oh, as for payments, jail, etc. It *really* isn't that likely. If he is making an effort, generally the court would rather see that. But he absolutely has to make the effort to pay the current support and whatever additional amount they set to start paying back the arrears. If that means one of you taking on an additional job to bring in extra income, that would be a wise thing to do.

 

[nomoBMdrama]

Response to Freespeech

Freespeech, yes I knew he had these other children to take care of when I married him and that they were here before my child. But you are very wrong when you say he has no compulsion to take care of his other children. The BM won't even allow him to see them most of the time and we he does there's always major drama! Why doesn't the court look at that? Why must he go through so much just to see his children? This is how it was BEFORE he was ordered to pay child support. It seems that she was just upset that he moved on.

 

[brisgirl825]

Ok. So if he continues to make payments even if it's not always the amount he's been ordered to pay, is there still a good chance he could get thrown in jail? Also, can any of our things such as life insurance policies we have on one another be affected by all this? His BM also stated that if he was to pass away she would get some of his social security since she has his children....is this true?

Sorry for all the questions but this is all so new to me and I'm desperate for answers.

If he continues to not make the appropriate payments, eventually, he could go to jail. It rarely happens for the first contempt.
Yes, her children would be entitled to SS benefits. Is there something wrong with that?

 

[stealth2]

Freespeech, yes I knew he had these other children to take care of when I married him and that they were here before my child. But you are very wrong when you say he has no compulsion to take care of his other children. The BM won't even allow him to see them most of the time and we he does there's always major drama! Why doesn't the court look at that? Why must he go through so much just to see his children? This is how it was BEFORE he was ordered to pay child support. It seems that she was just upset that he moved on.

Since he didn't have a support order - did he ever get a visitation order? Maybe that's where THAT problem lies? Overall, it sounds like your husband has been perfectly happy to be a bit of a doormat.

 

[nomoBMdrama]

Yes Stealth, he did know that he had an obligation to support his 3 children. But child support orders really do make a difference. He was under the impression that they would be able to work out arrangements without involving the courts as they had before. Up until the beginning of our relationship he had money directly deposited into his BM's checking account for their children as well as paying for daycare through that government pre-tax program. So it's not like he wasn't supporting them at all in the first place. But when she brought the child support people into it, it just seemed to complicate things more and she started asking for a lot more money, too. It just seems the court should take that into consideration that he was supporting them before.

As far as the house, only my name is on the mortgage and we both agreed that for a while we're going to keep it this way.

 

[nomoBMdrama]

Reply to Brisgirl

No, I don't see anything wrong with his other children receiving some of his social security. I was just asking because I don't know how this stuff works. As I said before this is all new to me....I've never dated men with children in the past. Quite honestly, they could have all his social security because I'm sure they would need it more than my child(ren) anyway. I want his other children to be taken care of because I know I can take care of mine's on my own if need be. And we already have life insurance policies on one another so that would help me, as well.

 

[nomoBMdrama]

You're right Stealth

He has been a bit of a doormat. First problem is he's never had a good lawyer and she does. His lawyer was one of his frat brothers who really didn't seem to help much and family law wasn't exactly his area anyway. I think that once my husband gets a good lawyer things may get a little better. He also tried prepaid for a while but they were so hard to catch up with when he really needed them. Are there any resources that you may provide?

He did have visitation according to the order...for rotating holidays, spring and summer breaks, and father's day. Her argument with that is since we moved out of state that visitation arrangement is no longer in effect.

I really appreciate everyone's responses. Like I said I've been desperate for answers.

 

[NotSoNew]

to the orginal poster ~ i understand where you are coming from. keep this in mind, these were your orginal questions, your income is not liable for his child support, they cant use that against you and no its not likely he will go to jail if he is making a good faith effort to keep up his payments! why would they put him in jail when then he cant pay at ALL if he is paying now.

it seems a lot of people on this board assume all dads are deadbeats (who ask about or complain about the amount of CS they pay) and all second wives are stupid for marrying these men who had prior child support obligations. the fact is the court does not care about your husbands bills or finances in any way. they only care what he makes and how much his ex makes. thats it! you could be living in a cardboard box, they dont care.

i had much the same situation as you, my BF has a daughter who he was PAYING support to before the court order, 75 dollars a week (and he saw her 2 days a week) he went to court with her for CS and visitation and we had NO IDEA that it could be so much (156 a week for one child) we did the calcualtors and none of them came out to be that high. So yes we KNEW he had support to pay, we dont have a problem paying it, however we do have a problem paying OUR BILLS! but the court doesnt really care about that.

Personally I think the CS laws need to be revised and updated........