Thank you again to Bruno from TimeCruncher
Thank you for your most recent post, and your suggestion that we establish an RSS feed from the stalker's hometown newspaper. I read the Wikipedia article you cited, and while I was able to understand the basic description of what an RSS feed is, the description of how RSS operates was hard for me to grasp, given my limited computer experience. I did more reading, and also learned that some RSS users have reported privacy issues of the sort we need to avoid. As you suggested, I checked the stalker's hometown newspaper, which provides RSS; however, the newspaper recommends the IE7 browser, and I prefer to continue using IE6. (I once upgraded to IE7, which made weird and wild changes to our computer, so after a frustrating trial run, I finally System Restored back to IE6.) Daily checking of the stalker's hometown obits doesn't take long, and isn't morbid for us. In fact, it's better for us to keep checking manually, because in the past year, we have acquired some valuable current information about the stalker, who has begun posting entries in decedents' online guest books. From those entries, we have learned that both stalker and spouse are still alive, and we have also learned their email address, names of some of their current acquaintances, and the name of a nursing home where the stalker makes daily volunteer visits (which means the stalker is still physically active and able to drive). This information would be valuable to a private investigator seeking photos of the stalker, and to law enforcement in the event our teen is abducted.
Meanwhile, we remain in somewhat the same position as the married woman you mentioned.
I see just that one parallel between the unhappily married woman and my family: we are waiting for a problematic person to die. Otherwise, the differences between the unhappily married woman and my family are considerable. The unhappily married woman can choose to stop being married to her husband, but we can't choose to stop being stalked by the stalker. Our respective situations involve different personal priorities. The married woman values money over happiness, and stays married because she assumes her husband will predecease her. However, if she predeceases him, then she will have spent the remainder of her life in a bad marriage, and her widower--the man to whom she was greedily unwilling to share some of her money--will inherit all of her money, and will live to enjoy his independence from her, as well. Our priority is safety for ourselves and our teen. If we predecease the stalker (and for all we know, we might), then our teen will have to battle the stalker alone.
Like you, I've encountered people similar to that married woman--people who stay married to a spouse they hate, or keep working at a job they hate, or keep living in a place they hate simply because they're unwilling to sacrifice some money to make a positive change in their lives. I have a hard time understanding those people. The stalker is one of those people. S/he dangles offers of money and property in front of estranged relatives in exchange for "a relationship," and when ignored or refused, becomes enraged and vengeful. My spouse and I have considered the likelihood that the stalker will make such an offer (in the form of college assistance money) to our teen. We have discussed this with our teen, and asked, "What will you decide to do if the stalker offers you money?" Our normally well-mannered teen's response--unprintable here--translated into, "I'll refuse it." Our teen is a good person; the stalker is not. We hope they never meet.
P.S. I saw your response to RhodeIslandGal, the woman with the anonymous cell phone stalker (post # 1955 in Libel/Slander/Defamation). I really feel for her, especially because her minor child has been pulled into the situation. I considered posting a reply to her with suggestions for securing her mail, car, and phones. I decided not to post, because people expect expert advice on this forum, and I'm no expert. Out of curiosity, though, I visited Nextel's website and read its wireless services Terms and Conditions (at <http://nextelonline.nextel.com/en/legal/legal_terms_privacy_popup.shtml>). Under "Our Right to Suspend or Terminate Services," and "Restrictions on Using Services," it appears that RhodeIslandGal has a Nextel customer's right to request that Nextel shut down the Nextel phone recently confirmed to have been used by the stalker, and Nextel has the right (but possibly not the obligation) to do so. However, I think it might be better for the stalker to retain the ability to text-message from a physical distance, keep building an incriminating paper trail with Nextel, and eventually be identified by a private investigator. What a mess.
