Standing order violation

[Abarnhill25]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
My stbx filed for divorce in Montgomery County Texas on 5/31/13. With this came standing orders for us to follow. He has broken this a few times and I let it pass. Well the kids came home this weekend and as soon as they were in the car it was Dad took us to a football party where him and his girlfriend were drinking.Then we left there and we all went to a car meet and then we all stayed the night at his girlfriends house. They slept on the couch, while him and his girlfriend slept in her room. I know that the standing order states that there is to be no drinking 24 hours prior and during the possesion of the kids. It is also stated that there is no unknown adult that is considered dating or other to stay over night from 9pm to 8am. Which these two were broken orders. Now he was talking in front of the kids how he has a good lawyer and he is going to take me down. All I did was went from an uncontested to contested because my kids have requested and I feel like it is a good idea to fight for sole custody. He has always been in and out of our lives and there is domestic violence history. I just am not sure what steps I need to take to protect my children from all this. Is there something I can do about the broken standing order? My children are 14 and 11. I am currently looking to legal aid to help with fighting for full custody, but I feel I need to do something now about everything else until the rest unfolds.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
My stbx filed for divorce in Montgomery County Texas on 5/31/13. With this came standing orders for us to follow. He has broken this a few times and I let it pass. Well the kids came home this weekend and as soon as they were in the car it was Dad took us to a football party where him and his girlfriend were drinking.Then we left there and we all went to a car meet and then we all stayed the night at his girlfriends house. They slept on the couch, while him and his girlfriend slept in her room. I know that the standing order states that there is to be no drinking 24 hours prior and during the possesion of the kids. It is also stated that there is no unknown adult that is considered dating or other to stay over night from 9pm to 8am. Which these two were broken orders. Now he was talking in front of the kids how he has a good lawyer and he is going to take me down. All I did was went from an uncontested to contested because my kids have requested and I feel like it is a good idea to fight for sole custody. He has always been in and out of our lives and there is domestic violence history. I just am not sure what steps I need to take to protect my children from all this. Is there something I can do about the broken standing order? My children are 14 and 11. I am currently looking to legal aid to help with fighting for full custody, but I feel I need to do something now about everything else until the rest unfolds.

Okay. What's your end goal here?

 

[Abarnhill25]

My goal in the end is full custody of my kids. But I need to find out if there is something I can do now about him breaking the standing orders. I do not find it right in any way first and foremost that him and his girlfriend are drinking and driving with my kids in the cars. But if I have to follow the orders and am, why does he not have to? So I need to find out if there is something I can do about his breaking the order.

 

[Proserpina]

My goal in the end is full custody of my kids. But I need to find out if there is something I can do now about him breaking the standing orders. I do not find it right in any way first and foremost that him and his girlfriend are drinking and driving with my kids in the cars. But if I have to follow the orders and am, why does he not have to? So I need to find out if there is something I can do about his breaking the order.

Just as long as you realize that "full custody" doesn't mean Dad won't get ample time with the kids - without you present.

What proof is there of the drinking, other than the words of the kids? The 14 year old at least is old enough to call 911 if they're drinking and driving.

Please note too that the "no paramour" clause you have will likely last only for the duration of the divorce.

 

[Abarnhill25]

I do understand that. But at the same time I would not deny the kids their dad. But o need to be able to control things. My 14 year old was abused also by his dad and it has made him scared to say anything to him. He doesn not have access to a phone when they are with their dad. There were plenty of people at the party and pictures were taken. I believe my children when it comes to things like this. Is there something I can do about him breaking this standing order? I understand it is only until we finalize the divorce. Which we haven't even been to court or mediation yet. All I want to do is protect my kids.

 

[ecmst12]

But o need to be able to control things.

You might as well give up that idea right now. You will not be able to control things when your kids are with their father.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Texas
My stbx filed for divorce in Montgomery County Texas on 5/31/13. With this came standing orders for us to follow. He has broken this a few times and I let it pass. Well the kids came home this weekend and as soon as they were in the car it was Dad took us to a football party where him and his girlfriend were drinking.Then we left there and we all went to a car meet and then we all stayed the night at his girlfriends house. They slept on the couch, while him and his girlfriend slept in her room. I know that the standing order states that there is to be no drinking 24 hours prior and during the possesion of the kids. It is also stated that there is no unknown adult that is considered dating or other to stay over night from 9pm to 8am. Which these two were broken orders. Now he was talking in front of the kids how he has a good lawyer and he is going to take me down. All I did was went from an uncontested to contested because my kids have requested and I feel like it is a good idea to fight for sole custody. He has always been in and out of our lives and there is domestic violence history. I just am not sure what steps I need to take to protect my children from all this. Is there something I can do about the broken standing order? My children are 14 and 11. I am currently looking to legal aid to help with fighting for full custody, but I feel I need to do something now about everything else until the rest unfolds.

If Legal Aid takes this case I will be very very surprised.

 

[stealth2]

But o need to be able to control things.

This says it all. You're not going to get to do that, darlin'.

 

[CJane]

What proof is there of the drinking, other than the words of the kids? The 14 year old at least is old enough to call 911 if they're drinking and driving.

Except... it's not illegal to drink and drive. The 14 year old has no way of assessing whether or not Dad/the Girlfriend/whomever is driving is intoxicated. Encouraging the child to call 911 if Dad's been drinking and gets behind the wheel of the car is just asking for more issues/anxiety surrounding being with Dad.

I know that *I'd be ticked if I had a beer with dinner and the kids called 911 when we got in the car to go home.

 

[LdiJ]

Except... it's not illegal to drink and drive. The 14 year old has no way of assessing whether or not Dad/the Girlfriend/whomever is driving is intoxicated. Encouraging the child to call 911 if Dad's been drinking and gets behind the wheel of the car is just asking for more issues/anxiety surrounding being with Dad.

I know that *I'd be ticked if I had a beer with dinner and the kids called 911 when we got in the car to go home.

I was thinking the same thing. Its not a good position to put the child in at all.

 

[single317dad]

Except... it's not illegal to drink and drive.

Taking the law literally, it is. BAC above .08% is clear-cut. Below that, it's a judgment call.

http://www.texasdwi.org/

In Texas, the legal limit for intoxication is .08 BAC. If an officer thinks your driving is impaired, you can still be stopped and arrested for DWI regardless of your BAC.

http://www.txdot.gov/inside-txdot/division/traffic/safety/sober-safe/intoxication.html

The Law on DWI

In Texas, a person is legally intoxicated and may be arrested and charged with Driving While Intoxicated (DWI) with a .08 BAC (blood or breath alcohol concentration). However, a person is also intoxicated if impaired due to alcohol or other drugs regardless of BAC. Whether you're the driver or the passenger, you can be fined up to $500 for having an open alcohol container in a vehicle.

http://www.nhtsa.gov/people/injury/research/pub/impaired_driving/BAC/technicalsum.html

The data provides no evidence of a BAC below which impairment does not occur. Rather, there was evidence of significant impairment throughout the BAC range of 0.02% to 0.10%, with increasing percentage of subjects impaired and increasing magnitude of impairment at higher BACs.

Does that make it the child's responsibility to monitor the parent's alcohol intake and ability to drive? Absolutely not. But I'll be darned if I'd want my kid riding with anyone who had been drinking. Period.

Add to that the fact that the judge felt it necessary that the order specifically state that there be no drinking during or before possession. There's usually a reason for that.

 

[CJane]

Taking the law literally, it is. BAC above .08% is clear-cut. Below that, it's a judgment call.

A judgment call that should NOT be made by a CHILD.

Does that make it the child's responsibility to monitor the parent's alcohol intake and ability to drive? Absolutely not. But I'll be darned if I'd want my kid riding with anyone who had been drinking. Period.

And that's fine. It is still NOT illegal for an adult to consume alcohol and then drive. It is illegal to be IMPAIRED while driving. It's just not the same thing. At all.

Add to that the fact that the judge felt it necessary that the order specifically state that there be no drinking during or before possession. There's usually a reason for that.

I agree. It's also completely unenforceable (especially the "24 hours before possession" part), because it's unmonitorable. (made up word!) The kids can't testify that Dad was drinking. So what's left?

 

[Antigone*]

If fact if the order states that "unknown adult that is considered dating or other to stay over night from 9pm to 8am" that order was not broken if the family stayed at the GF's home. In fact the adult was "known" to dad as well.

 

[Bali Hai]

A judgment call that should NOT be made by a CHILD.



And that's fine. It is still NOT illegal for an adult to consume alcohol and then drive. It is illegal to be IMPAIRED while driving. It's just not the same thing. At all.



I agree. It's also completely unenforceable (especially the "24 hours before possession" part), because it's unmonitorable. (made up word!) The kids can't testify that Dad was drinking. So what's left?

These are all signs we are headed back to prohibition. How did that work out for everyone?