State is now handling support, he is threatening custody

[starting over]

What is the name of your state?Kentucky

After 1 1/2 years, I have decided to allow the State to collect our children's CS support payments on my behalf. Over the last 6 months, he had created arrearages & is running consistantly late. He also felt that he didn't have to pay what the Judge ordered. I didn't choose to fight with him about it. Now, I think I opened up a can of worms.

I just filed with the County Atty last Wednesday, he received notification of garnishment yesterday from his employer for the current & the arrears (I was surprised it only took 4 days ) I was accepting less than what was ordered, but he still reduced even that. Now, he is having to pay the entire ordered amount and the arrearages. He called & was pretty fired up.

He is now saying that he is going to go for custody of the boys & that "unless I help him out, I will have to explain to the boys' why he won't be able to afford to fly them up for Tgiving" (he is responsible for all transportation costs) This is even though he stated that my 13 yo wasn't coming due to testing positive for drugs (I posted under "Can I lose custody")
He feels like since his Dad wasn't going to bring him for the visit, that he (his Dad) doesn't care & doesn't want to see him.

My 13 yo is in therapy now & has tested clean every since the first positive test (thank goodness). I thought that he may try to fight me for custody based on that, but he isn't even concerned about that......it's the money. He stated that he & his gfriend (she has 5 children, 4 live with them) could raise our boys' for much less than what he is ordered in support.

I know my son using drugs is definately not a good thing, but that is something that is being worked on with counseling (he has a drug counselor & a psychiatrist) My question is, would a judge look at this being money motivated or will the fact that my son made a bad choice be all that he needs to gain custody of both our children?

My 13 yo (will be 14 in Nov) does not want to move with them (I was on the phone outside, he knew something was up & snuck & listened to my portion of the conversation) I know that he doesn't get to "decide" where he is to live until he is 18, but would a Judge consider his feelings? My ex & I have joint legal with me having sole physical. He agreed to this in our separation (5/04) & again in our divorce (7/05)

 

[betterthanher]

What is the name of your state?Kentucky

After 1 1/2 years, I have decided to allow the State to collect our children's CS support payments on my behalf. Over the last 6 months, he had created arrearages & is running consistantly late. He also felt that he didn't have to pay what the Judge ordered. I didn't choose to fight with him about it. Now, I think I opened up a can of worms.

I just filed with the County Atty last Wednesday, he received notification of garnishment yesterday from his employer for the current & the arrears (I was surprised it only took 4 days ) I was accepting less than what was ordered, but he still reduced even that. Now, he is having to pay the entire ordered amount and the arrearages. He called & was pretty fired up.

He is now saying that he is going to go for custody of the boys & that "unless I help him out, I will have to explain to the boys' why he won't be able to afford to fly them up for Tgiving" (he is responsible for all transportation costs) This is even though he stated that my 13 yo wasn't coming due to testing positive for drugs (I posted under "Can I lose custody")
He feels like since his Dad wasn't going to bring him for the visit, that he (his Dad) doesn't care & doesn't want to see him.

My 13 yo is in therapy now & has tested clean every since the first positive test (thank goodness). I thought that he may try to fight me for custody based on that, but he isn't even concerned about that......it's the money. He stated that he & his gfriend (she has 5 children, 4 live with them) could raise our boys' for much less than what he is ordered in support.

I know my son using drugs is definately not a good thing, but that is something that is being worked on with counseling (he has a drug counselor & a psychiatrist) My question is, would a judge look at this being money motivated or will the fact that my son made a bad choice be all that he needs to gain custody of both our children?

My 13 yo (will be 14 in Nov) does not want to move with them (I was on the phone outside, he knew something was up & snuck & listened to my portion of the conversation) I know that he doesn't get to "decide" where he is to live until he is 18, but would a Judge consider his feelings? My ex & I have joint legal with me having sole physical. He agreed to this in our separation (5/04) & again in our divorce (7/05)

He has every legal right to file for custody.

 

[starting over]

Thank you

Yes,I know he has every legal right to file for custody....he is their Dad. My question is, does the fact that my son made a bad choice make this more feasible or will the Judge look past that & see the real motivation.....making him pay the CS he truly owes?

 

[critterperson]

Yes,I know he has every legal right to file for custody....he is their Dad. My question is, does the fact that my son made a bad choice make this more feasible or will the Judge look past that & see the real motivation.....making him pay the CS he truly owes?

I think as long as you are trying through treatment to get your child clean, and are not just ignoring the situation, tthe judge shouldn't hold this against you... My attorney has told me that when they look at custody for a child they look at best interest....I don't think it would be the best interest for your child to be pulled out of therapy and uprooted from his home.... I am Also dealing with a NCP who is reluctant to pay, your attorney can bring this to the judges attention that he was not willingly paying, and that the state had to intervene on your behalf.......... I would strongly advise retaining an attorney, just to be on the safe side. An attorney would be able to effectively argue your case for you....But in my opinion you probably don't have much to worry about....Judges see this type of behavior from NCP's that just want to get out of paying all of the time...Good Luck to you!!!!

 

[starting over]

I think as long as you are trying through treatment to get your child clean, and are not just ignoring the situation, tthe judge shouldn't hold this against you... My attorney has told me that when they look at custody for a child they look at best interest....I don't think it would be the best interest for your child to be pulled out of therapy and uprooted from his home.... I am Also dealing with a NCP who is reluctant to pay, your attorney can bring this to the judges attention that he was not willingly paying, and that the state had to intervene on your behalf.......... I would strongly advise retaining an attorney, just to be on the safe side. An attorney would be able to effectively argue your case for you....But in my opinion you probably don't have much to worry about....Judges see this type of behavior from NCP's that just want to get out of paying all of the time...Good Luck to you!!!!

Thank you for your response, I will be contacting my attorney tomorrow. She is the one I used for my divorce, so either she can handle this (if he does actually file) or maybe can direct me to someone else.

That's what I was trying to ask with my question, will the fact that he is getting treatment & the situation is NOT being ignored be considered.....I hope your right, the Judges must see when money is the motivator everyday. I notified my ex when he tested positive & kept him informed of all of the "clean" tests & also the therapy. I feel that he had every right to know what is going on with his son, but to think that he may try to use this "knowledge" against me, makes me ill.