Statute of limitations regarding custody agreement

[oldestson]

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

In 2005, my wife and her ex-husband divorced. They had a daughter, and part of the agreement was that neither party would move more than 60 miles away. Visitation for him was every other weekend, and 4 hours every Wednesday. She and I married in 2006. In 2009, we wanted to move back to where I was originally from. It wasn't much further than 60 miles, but was technically beyond the limit. Before making any plans to move, we discussed this with him. He agreed to the move, and as compensation, we signed over to him a property they jointly owned, and was originally supposed to go to my wife per the written agreement. We still abided by the every other weekend agreement, and additionally, since the move would make the Wednesday visit too difficult, we agreed that she would go to his house every other week during the summer. This was all agreed to verbally, but now I realize that we should have used a lawyer. Now in 2019, he is issuing for full custody, and claiming that we violated their Agreement. Is there any way to make our verbal agreement hold up? And is there a statute of limitations as to when he can claim a violation? It's been 10 years since we moved, and he is just now making an issue of it.

 

[commentator]

Are there any other circumstances that are inspiring the sudden request for full custody? Other than what has been going on for the past ten years (relatively smoothly, from the sound of things?) Has he for example, recently acquired a new girlfriend, fiancé, wife? Gotten a chance to move elsewhere?

In any custody situation I would implore your wife to retain an attorney, not go in and get blindsided by someone with a superior representation and an agenda of some kind. This is the way you come out of this with your formerly verbal agreement looking very successful, and not giving the court any reason to see the necessity of a custody change. What age is your stepdaughter now?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

In 2005, my wife and her ex-husband divorced. They had a daughter, and part of the agreement was that neither party would move more than 60 miles away. Visitation for him was every other weekend, and 4 hours every Wednesday. She and I married in 2006. In 2009, we wanted to move back to where I was originally from. It wasn't much further than 60 miles, but was technically beyond the limit. Before making any plans to move, we discussed this with him. He agreed to the move, and as compensation, we signed over to him a property they jointly owned, and was originally supposed to go to my wife per the written agreement. We still abided by the every other weekend agreement, and additionally, since the move would make the Wednesday visit too difficult, we agreed that she would go to his house every other week during the summer. This was all agreed to verbally, but now I realize that we should have used a lawyer. Now in 2019, he is issuing for full custody, and claiming that we violated their Agreement. Is there any way to make our verbal agreement hold up? And is there a statute of limitations as to when he can claim a violation? It's been 10 years since we moved, and he is just now making an issue of it.

All those "we's". I am very sure you didn't have to sign anything and are not in violation if their (Mom and Dad's) custody agreement.

With that said...

What has happened that Dad is now taking this to court? And no. A verbal agreement doesn't supersede a court order. A CO stay's in effect until a NEW court order is in place. YOUR WIFE should have had their agreement filed with the courts a decade ago.

 

[stealth2]

Coulda/shouldas aside, a judge is unlikely to be impressed by Dad's waiting 10 years to complain. But Mom was foolish to not have the agreement memorialized in writing.

 

[Just Blue]

Coulda/shouldas aside, a judge is unlikely to be impressed by Dad's waiting 10 years to complain. But Mom was foolish to not have the agreement memorialized in writing.

I agree...but it seems strange that after a decade Dad would suddenly stomp his foot in court over the move...one has to wonder if there is another reason he is going back to court.

Really wish Mom would post for herself....

 

[not2cleverRed]

I'm thinking OP's wife can respond, through her lawyer, that she would like to modify the parenting plan to reflect the 10 years of status quo, and that additionally, Dad needs to sign over the property that she signed over to him, or cash equivalent, or else she will ask that he be found in contempt.

Because although the agreement isn't in writing, the transfer of property is - he can't say why that happened without contradicting himself, because he didn't pay her for it, and per the divorce agreement, it's hers.

 

[oldestson]

Are there any other circumstances that are inspiring the sudden request for full custody? Other than what has been going on for the past ten years (relatively smoothly, from the sound of things?) Has he for example, recently acquired a new girlfriend, fiancé, wife? Gotten a chance to move elsewhere?

In any custody situation I would implore your wife to retain an attorney, not go in and get blindsided by someone with a superior representation and an agenda of some kind. This is the way you come out of this with your formerly verbal agreement looking very successful, and not giving the court any reason to see the necessity of a custody change. What age is your stepdaughter now?

The circumstances for the petition of primary custody are that she has close friends where her father lives, and she would like to live there. We have many reasons besides emotional reasoning that makes this a cause for concern concern, but this isn't the argument I'm bringing here. Why he is bringing this other accusation is beyond me, unless he feels as if a breach of the agreement gives him leverage. I am just curious if there is a legal precedent for waiting this long before accusing her of a breach of contract. EDIT: I forgot to answer your last question. She is now 15.

And I am sorry that the mom is not posting for herself. She is retaining an attorney and will be handling this through them. This was just a specific question she had regarding this issue, and she didn't want to wait until Monday. And I am aware that you don't like the use of the word "we." I am not using the word to claim any sort of legal rights for myself, only to express the situation as it played out. "We" moved, so I feel comfortable using the word "we," even if the legal implication only refers to her moving. As a couple, "we" are handling this together, and seeing as how we aren't writing legal documents here, I would appreciate your understanding of this, and see through the use of the word "we" when it appears.

 

[oldestson]

I'm thinking OP's wife can respond, through her lawyer, that she would like to modify the parenting plan to reflect the 10 years of status quo, and that additionally, Dad needs to sign over the property that she signed over to him, or cash equivalent, or else she will ask that he be found in contempt.

Because although the agreement isn't in writing, the transfer of property is - he can't say why that happened without contradicting himself, because he didn't pay her for it, and per the divorce agreement, it's hers.

Thank you for your reply.

 

[not2cleverRed]

The circumstances for the petition of primary custody are that she has close friends where her father lives, and she would like to live there. We have many reasons besides emotional reasoning that makes this a cause for concern concern, but this isn't the argument I'm bringing here. I am just curious if there is a legal precedent for waiting this long before accusing her of a breach of contract.

And I am sorry that the mom is not posting for herself. She is retaining an attorney and will be handling this through them. This was just a specific question she had regarding this issue, and she didn't want to wait until Monday. And I am aware that you don't like the use of the word "we." I am not using the word to claim any sort of legal rights for myself, only to express the situation as it played out. "We" moved, so I feel comfortable using the word "we," even if the legal implication only refers to her moving. As a couple, "we" are handling this together, and seeing as how we aren't writing legal documents here, I would appreciate your understanding of this, and see through the use of the word "we" when it appears.

Doing the math, I suspect your step-daughter is in high school.

No, kids don't get to choose based on their latest romantic interest and/or "close friends". It's doesn't sound like this is a focused kid who can articulate how a move would improve their academic or vocational opportunities, for example.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? Kentucky

In 2005, my wife and her ex-husband divorced. They had a daughter, and part of the agreement was that neither party would move more than 60 miles away. Visitation for him was every other weekend, and 4 hours every Wednesday. She and I married in 2006. In 2009, we wanted to move back to where I was originally from. It wasn't much further than 60 miles, but was technically beyond the limit. Before making any plans to move, we discussed this with him. He agreed to the move, and as compensation, we signed over to him a property they jointly owned, and was originally supposed to go to my wife per the written agreement. We still abided by the every other weekend agreement, and additionally, since the move would make the Wednesday visit too difficult, we agreed that she would go to his house every other week during the summer. This was all agreed to verbally, but now I realize that we should have used a lawyer. Now in 2019, he is issuing for full custody, and claiming that we violated their Agreement. Is there any way to make our verbal agreement hold up? And is there a statute of limitations as to when he can claim a violation? It's been 10 years since we moved, and he is just now making an issue of it.

It is FAR too late for him to make the argument that the agreement was violated. A judge is likely to hand him his backside for that. Where you live now has been status quo for 10 years.

However, I would strongly recommend that you hire an attorney for your wife because it will be over much quicker with one.

 

[oldestson]

It is FAR too late for him to make the argument that the agreement was violated. A judge is likely to hand him his backside for that. Where you live now has been status quo for 10 years.

However, I would strongly recommend that you hire an attorney for your wife because it will be over much quicker with one.

Thank you for your reply. She will be hiring an attorney. Unfortunately it is Sunday, so she will be calling her attorney tomorrow, but she really wanted to know about this specific question.

 

[stealth2]

There's a boy. Wanna bet?

 

[not2cleverRed]

There's a boy. Wanna bet?

Well, a "romantic interest" of some sort.

 

[stealth2]

Well, a "romantic interest" of some sort.

Well, yes. My bad - and I should know better!

 

[commentator]

First thing I'd want to know. Full custody for dad. Would this in any way involve him no longer paying child support that he has previously been obligated to pay? Few daddies are sweet enough about a fifteen year old's wishes to be closer to a boy she likes to spend the cash and go to the trouble to hire an attorney and go back to court. If there were some financial gain for him, I could see it making more sense. That's why the questions I asked about a new wife or girlfriend. Many times a new woman in his life will see your happily remarried wife getting support from him that she imagines the two of them could use better. And as for the child involved, well, we can always dump her on grandma. That's one of the things the courts will be feeling around for, it's pretty easy to tell that money is usually very important in these types of issues.

There's no statute of limitations exactly on a custody arrangement. If it works fine for everyone, it will eventually end when the child ages out anyhow. But there is generally a "change of circumstances" required to get a lot of attention for a request to change the custody arrangement by going to court. And this thing you guys worked out ten years ago has been working for ten years. That's a real over stretched definition of a "change of circumstances." It is possible it will work to your wife's advantage more so than the ex's. There you are back in court, and will give her opportunities to get things spelled out and smoothed out so that there may not be questions in the future.