Step parent adoption- Birth mom won't consent

[Chameleon]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona.

My husband has full custody of his two daughters. His ex-wife doesn't want to pay child support as a condition to sign the divorce paper. The divorce was finalize in August 09. She has parenting time every other weekend.

About 4yrs ago, she was arrested for prostitution in a massage parlor before the divorce, but was released later due to the connection of a police officer with my husband. Just after 2 days signing the divorce paper, her massage parlor(she owned) was closed down for prostitution. Till now, we still believe she is still prostituting for a living.

Due to my husband working out of town most of the time, I would like to adopt my two step daughters(at least I'm legal to sign consent in case of emergency), but doubt that she(biological mother) will agree. I'm thinking if I stand a chance to fight her in court.

I would appreciate if questions below could be answer:

1) I'm a permanent resident of US, married to my husband 6mths, can I adopt my two step daughter now or have to wait longer?

2) On what ground do we stand a higher chance to fight her?
a) my husband travels frequent, need me as a legal parent for the girls.
b) she's not paying child support( it's not stated in the divorce decree she need to pay)
c) her pending prostituting case
d) prove that she is earning immoral living.
e) mental deficiency, prove she has mild mental retardation or learning disability?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona.

My husband has full custody of his two daughters. His ex-wife doesn't want to pay child support as a condition to sign the divorce paper. The divorce was finalize in August 09. She has parenting time every other weekend.

About 4yrs ago, she was arrested for prostitution in a massage parlor before the divorce, but was released later due to the connection of a police officer with my husband. Just after 2 days signing the divorce paper, her massage parlor(she owned) was closed down for prostitution. Till now, we still believe she is still prostituting for a living.

Due to my husband working out of town most of the time, I would like to adopt my two step daughters(at least I'm legal to sign consent in case of emergency), but doubt that she(biological mother) will agree. I'm thinking if I stand a chance to fight her in court.

I would appreciate if questions below could be answer:

1) I'm a permanent resident of US, married to my husband 6mths, can I adopt my two step daughter now or have to wait longer?

2) On what ground do we stand a higher chance to fight her?
a) my husband travels frequent, need me as a legal parent for the girls.
b) she's not paying child support( it's not stated in the divorce decree she need to pay)
c) her pending prostituting case
d) prove that she is earning immoral living.
e) mental deficiency, prove she has mild mental retardation or learning disability?

WOW!

She is the MOTHER. Not the "birthmom"! Not the "biological mom"!

Nothing you have listed will cause a court to terminate her parental rights.

 

[ecmst12]

You are not a better mom then mom. You are just dad's wife. Step BACK about 10000 feet and let the parents parent this child. You are NEVER going to adopt this child if mom doesn't want you to. It doesn't matter what she does for a living if she doesn't do it in front of the child. She hasn't abused or abandoned the child, she is an active non-custodial parent, and frankly what she does is absolutely none of your business. You need to accept your role as legal stranger.

 

[lovingbostonmom]

theres only dad and his ex

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona.

My husband has full custody of his two daughters. His ex-wife doesn't want to pay child support as a condition to sign the divorce paper. The divorce was finalize in August 09. She has parenting time every other weekend.

About 4yrs ago, she was arrested for prostitution in a massage parlor before the divorce, but was released later due to the connection of a police officer with my husband. Just after 2 days signing the divorce paper, her massage parlor(she owned) was closed down for prostitution. Till now, we still believe she is still prostituting for a living.

Due to my husband working out of town most of the time, I would like to adopt my two step daughters(at least I'm legal to sign consent in case of emergency), but doubt that she(biological mother) will agree. I'm thinking if I stand a chance to fight her in court.

I would appreciate if questions below could be answer:

1) I'm a permanent resident of US, married to my husband 6mths, can I adopt my two step daughter now or have to wait longer?

2) On what ground do we stand a higher chance to fight her?
a) my husband travels frequent, need me as a legal parent for the girls.
b) she's not paying child support( it's not stated in the divorce decree she need to pay)
c) her pending prostituting case
d) prove that she is earning immoral living.
e) mental deficiency, prove she has mild mental retardation or learning disability?

you as the stepmother have NO standing legally to do anything in court. since mom said no, then its no, and you will forever be a legal stranger to your stepdaughters. there will never be a WE or US where your stepdaughters are concerned, there will only be dad( your husband) and mom( his ex)

 

[ecmst12]

Of course, you can LOVE your stepchildren all you want. But you can never replace the actual parents, nor should you try. I understand being a stepmom is hard. I get it. But it's the road you chose to walk....don't try to change course now.

 

[Gracie3787]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Arizona.

My husband has full custody of his two daughters. His ex-wife doesn't want to pay child support as a condition to sign the divorce paper. The divorce was finalize in August 09. She has parenting time every other weekend.

About 4yrs ago, she was arrested for prostitution in a massage parlor before the divorce, but was released later due to the connection of a police officer with my husband. Just after 2 days signing the divorce paper, her massage parlor(she owned) was closed down for prostitution. Till now, we still believe she is still prostituting for a living.

Due to my husband working out of town most of the time, I would like to adopt my two step daughters(at least I'm legal to sign consent in case of emergency), but doubt that she(biological mother) will agree. I'm thinking if I stand a chance to fight her in court.

I would appreciate if questions below could be answer:

1) I'm a permanent resident of US, married to my husband 6mths, can I adopt my two step daughter now or have to wait longer?

2) On what ground do we stand a higher chance to fight her?
a) my husband travels frequent, need me as a legal parent for the girls.
b) she's not paying child support( it's not stated in the divorce decree she need to pay)
c) her pending prostituting case
d) prove that she is earning immoral living.
e) mental deficiency, prove she has mild mental retardation or learning disability?

You and your husband need to get a consult with a local attorney to get your answers.

 

[justalayman]

You and your husband need to get a consult with a local attorney to get your answers.

why is that gracie?. You apparently believe the advice given so far is incorrect, or at that is my take on your post.

 

[Gracie3787]

why is that gracie?. You apparently believe the advice given so far is incorrect, or at that is my take on your post.

I don't think the answers given are incorrect. However, in the last several months I've seen an increase here of posters not attempting to answer question with anything other than " you are a legal stranger". While it is true, it does nothing to help an OP know what they CAN do.

So, in reality, the best advice that can be given is what I advised- if OP and her husband truly have no chance at this point of an involuntary TPR, that local attorney will be able to tell them, without a huge cost.

 

[rbw5147]

WOW is right! This is.. well, just wow.


Do you really think a "learning disability" would sway a judge to give you custody of somebody else's child??


She's not court ordered to pay child support! There may be a moral arguement that she should, but that's all it it. SHE DOESN'T LEGALLY HAVE TO and won't HAVE to, until she is court ordered to do so.


You don't agree with her "immoral living". Prostitution? That's pretty understandable, but it doesn't sound like any of this has been proved in court and I'm not sure that even if it was, that it would really even matter. Mom has not been convicted of anything and it would take a whole lot more than that for Mom to lose her parental rights.


Somebody please correct me if I'm wrong, but if her husband consults an attorney, isn't there something that can be done so that OP can sign some documents in place of her husband? (Since he travels alot and she is the children's caretaker during those times.)


Like somebody else said, you really, really do need to back up. YOU could be the one potentially creating legal problems for your husband regarding HIS custody situation, if you don't.

 

[Chameleon]

Oh no, I smell some fire here! I think some people are too FOCUS on 'terminate her parental rights', which I didn't even mention here. Perhaps my massage struck them: Not a STEP-MOTHER again, trying to take away somebody else's child!

Please note my first and foremost priority is those girls, I'm concern in the event of an emergency, I'm legal to sign consent for any treatment..

My husband and I would've think of some other solutions if is not the mother's irresponsibility to those girls. She fully understand that she has no ability to take care of them. Not now, not even before the divorced. That's why she gave up custody!

The elder daughter's biological father is not my husband. Ex cheated and got herself pregnant with another man. She tried abortion but was caught by my husband. She denied at first, but couldn't hid the truth when the baby was born 100% Asian(ex & man are Asian). It was my husband who raised the baby since she was born, he was working at home at that time due to the mother couldn't even change her diaper! That's why she's a daddy's girl now.

Later, ex started leaving the house working when the younger daughter was 1 1/2yrs old, left the girls(older was 3yrs old) with their 15yrs old step brother. The house was turned upside down every night when my husband came home!

She left the girls by themselves in her apartment or left them with her friends and went to work during her parenting time, sometimes brought them to her massage parlor! She encouraged the kids to play with her breasts, we found out when the younger daughter started to rub her cousin's and my breasts in a licentious look in her face. And she could even show you how to give a full body massage!

At first I was shocked every time the girls passed their mother, just like she's transparent, approached their father for any needs. It is a very sad situation to me, she is ignorant just about anything! She hasn't got a clue in life, worst of all, how to be a mother!

All those years she'd moved in and out the house several times, she'd never reallybeen in their life. Now, you'll be surprised when you know a 6 & 8yrs old don't even know a single nursery rhymes.

My husband and I are very stressful over the kids are in danger whenever they are with her. She'll leave them running in the park when she dozed off on the bench, let them lose in the departmental store while she's doing her shopping, the girls panicked looking for her once! We have to worry she would transmit some sort of diseases to the girls because of the nature of her job.

What would come to your mind when your children have to walk to school in bad weather(weather forecast it would be storm)? Would you still snug comfortably in bed acting like it's not you business? She's would! Is this so call mother's love?

I'm not exaggerating, I know it's hard to believe, but above all are base on true facts.

Now, I wonder what would people think if they were to put themselves in our shoes..

 

[Silverplum]

Oh no, I smell some fire here! I think some people are too FOCUS on 'terminate her parental rights', which I didn't even mention here. Perhaps my massage struck them: Not a STEP-MOTHER again, trying to take away somebody else's child!

The very title of your thread shows differently.

"Step parent adoption - Birth mom won't consent" is PRECISELY about "terminating Mom's parental rights."

Please note my first and foremost priority is those girls, I'm concern in the event of an emergency, I'm legal to sign consent for any treatment..

My husband and I would've think of some other solutions if is not the mother's irresponsibility to those girls. She fully understand that she has no ability to take care of them. Not now, not even before the divorced. That's why she gave up custody!

The elder daughter's biological father is not my husband. Ex cheated and got herself pregnant with another man. She tried abortion but was caught by my husband. She denied at first, but couldn't hid the truth when the baby was born 100% Asian(ex & man are Asian). It was my husband who raised the baby since she was born, he was working at home at that time due to the mother couldn't even change her diaper! That's why she's a daddy's girl now.

Later, ex started leaving the house working when the younger daughter was 1 1/2yrs old, left the girls(older was 3yrs old) with their 15yrs old step brother. The house was turned upside down every night when my husband came home!

She left the girls by themselves in her apartment or left them with her friends and went to work during her parenting time, sometimes brought them to her massage parlor! She encouraged the kids to play with her breasts, we found out when the younger daughter started to rub her cousin's and my breasts in a licentious look in her face. And she could even show you how to give a full body massage!

At first I was shocked every time the girls passed their mother, just like she's transparent, approached their father for any needs. It is a very sad situation to me, she is ignorant just about anything! She hasn't got a clue in life, worst of all, how to be a mother!

All those years she'd moved in and out the house several times, she'd never reallybeen in their life. Now, you'll be surprised when you know a 6 & 8yrs old don't even know a single nursery rhymes.

My husband and I are very stressful over the kids are in danger whenever they are with her. She'll leave them running in the park when she dozed off on the bench, let them lose in the departmental store while she's doing her shopping, the girls panicked looking for her once! We have to worry she would transmit some sort of diseases to the girls because of the nature of her job.

What would come to your mind when your children have to walk to school in bad weather(weather forecast it would be storm)? Would you still snug comfortably in bed acting like it's not you business? She's would! Is this so call mother's love?

I'm not exaggerating, I know it's hard to believe, but above all are base on true facts.

Now, I wonder what would people think if they were to put themselves in our shoes..

I think many, many things. None of them are in your "favor."

You probably don't want to read my thoughts.

 

[CourtClerk]

Oh no, I smell some fire here! I think some people are too FOCUS on 'terminate her parental rights', which I didn't even mention here.

Well here's a new one....

How, pre tell, do you think you're going to adopt the children without terminating her parental rights???????

 

[cyjeff]

To adopt a child, one person completely assumes the parental responsibilities and obligations of a parent.

Leaving the original parent with none.

Adopting her children means that you want to leave the mother without any parental rights.

Your chances of convincing a judge that you are a better parent after six months than the children's mother approaches zero. With a bullet.

 

[ecmst12]

A child can't have 3 parents. You can't adopt without terminating mom's rights. There are no grounds to terminate her rights, she is active in their lives, uses her visitation, and is not a danger to them. A power of attorney from dad is probably all that you are really looking for here.

 

[Isis1]

so everytime i gave a body massage in comsotology class and my client ENJOYED it with sounds....it was inproper? omg. and we were all minors!!!

my sister gave me a full body massage last year. it was awesome. nothing sexual about it all. and my friend, the professional therapist? she was stimulating me? god forbid anyone enjoy human gentle touching without any comfort. good grief.

my 3 year old and my almost two year old are always trying to look at my boobs. their interested. i'm teaching them about personal space.

you aren't very comfortable with your body are you?

my kids panic when i go to the bathroom in my own home. yeah, even the 12 year old. it's a two bedroom home.