Step Parent Adoption/Willing Custody

[binary010]

What is the name of your state? TN

I have custody of my two children from a previous marriage. The custody was granted originally to their biological mother, but after three years the court granted me custody. I have remarried since, and have a daughter with my wife as well.

The first 6 months I had custody of the children visitation, by their biological mother, was according to the parenting plan, every opportunity she could. After that the visits became sporatic with large amounts of time between visits, then several weeks of normal visitation, followed again by long absences. Over increasing time the biological mother spent less and less time coming to see the children. Her last visit was over a year ago. She has made not effort to contact them by phone, mail, or in person since that time. She has also during the year absence been arrest and convicted of aggrevated assault (Probation, no Jail time). This could explain her reluctance to see the children as she spent a good deal of time hiding from the police.

I offer this all as background information, it may or may not be relevent to the current question.

When I found out about the Assault charge I contacted my attorney about how I should proceed. I was informed that after 4 months without contact it is considered abandonment in TN, and we had well exceeded that by the time I had contacted him. My attorney suggested Stepparent adoption. My dilemma is such, my children, although having no legal say in the proceedings, are reluctent to go this route. They do not wish to sever their ties with their biological mother, and I do not really wish to force them. My attorney has informed me that if we do not wish to persue the Stepparent adoption that we should just proceed with the parenting plan as written. Now, I am fine with this currently. However, I am concened about something catastrophic happening to me. Their biological mother could not care for them financially, but their step mother could. Is it possible to give custody to a Stepparent in your will? Or should this be resolved before something happens (i.e. Steparent adoption)? Are there any other options?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Neal1421]

What is the name of your state? TN

I have custody of my two children from a previous marriage. The custody was granted originally to their biological mother, but after three years the court granted me custody. I have remarried since, and have a daughter with my wife as well.

The first 6 months I had custody of the children visitation, by their biological mother, was according to the parenting plan, every opportunity she could. After that the visits became sporatic with large amounts of time between visits, then several weeks of normal visitation, followed again by long absences. Over increasing time the biological mother spent less and less time coming to see the children. Her last visit was over a year ago. She has made not effort to contact them by phone, mail, or in person since that time. She has also during the year absence been arrest and convicted of aggrevated assault (Probation, no Jail time). This could explain her reluctance to see the children as she spent a good deal of time hiding from the police.

I offer this all as background information, it may or may not be relevent to the current question.

When I found out about the Assault charge I contacted my attorney about how I should proceed. I was informed that after 4 months without contact it is considered abandonment in TN, and we had well exceeded that by the time I had contacted him. My attorney suggested Stepparent adoption. My dilemma is such, my children, although having no legal say in the proceedings, are reluctent to go this route. They do not wish to sever their ties with their biological mother, and I do not really wish to force them. My attorney has informed me that if we do not wish to persue the Stepparent adoption that we should just proceed with the parenting plan as written. Now, I am fine with this currently. However, I am concened about something catastrophic happening to me. Their biological mother could not care for them financially, but their step mother could. Is it possible to give custody to a Stepparent in your will? Or should this be resolved before something happens (i.e. Steparent adoption)? Are there any other options?

Thanks in advance.

Is she paying child support?

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: Is it possible to give custody to a Stepparent in your will?

A: No. You cannot will children. They are not property. If you pass, the court will decide where the kids will go and no one can tell you now where that would be.

 

[binary010]

Is she paying child support?

No the biological mother is not providing any kind of support.

 

[bigshowecw]

either stepmom adopts or she wont have the kids

Q: Is it possible to give custody to a Stepparent in your will?

A: No. You cannot will children. They are not property. If you pass, the court will decide where the kids will go and no one can tell you now where that would be.

unless stepmom adopts them, they wont be going to her. she is a legal stranger to the kids, and has no standing to seek custody or anything else. im sorry.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

unless stepmom adopts them, they wont be going to her. she is a legal stranger to the kids, and has no standing to seek custody or anything else. im sorry.

Actually, you are wrong. It all depends, but you are to dumb to see that.

 

[bigshowecw]

you are wrong shay

Actually, you are wrong. It all depends, but you are to dumb to see that.

question-since when do stepparents have rights to their stepkids? answer-they dont. no matter how long theyve been in their stepkids lives, unless they adopt them, theyre, as other posters as stated, sol when it comes to getting custody of their stepkids. maybe you should go read a good book or something shay before you start belittling posters for their answers.

 

[stealth2]

question-since when do stepparents have rights to their stepkids? answer-they dont. no matter how long theyve been in their stepkids lives, unless they adopt them, theyre, as other posters as stated, sol when it comes to getting custody of their stepkids. maybe you should go read a good book or something shay before you start belittling posters for their answers.

Sigh.... as long as you've been here, one would think you'd have learned something. Stepparents have no inherent rights. However... Stepmom COULD file upon Dad's death and force the issue of fitness. If Mom were to be found unfit, StepMom COULD be given custody as a result of her involvement with the kids. Now, we all know that the standard of fitness is low, but there is that possibility.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

question-since when do stepparents have rights to their stepkids? answer-they dont. no matter how long theyve been in their stepkids lives, unless they adopt them, theyre, as other posters as stated, sol when it comes to getting custody of their stepkids. maybe you should go read a good book or something shay before you start belittling posters for their answers.

ANYONE can file for custody/guardianship. As to the issue at point, the best scenario at the present time is a standby guardianship petition now so that the children would not be uprooted if you died. In that event, the stbg would immediately be awarded the children contingent upon the biological mother taking possession and that's enough time for stepmom to file for full custody in-lieu of the deceased parent.

As to the issue of TPR, the exact phrasing of the statute is:

(i) For a period of four (4) consecutive months immediately preceding the filing of a proceeding or pleading to terminate the parental rights of the parent(s) or guardian(s) of the child who is the subject of the petition for termination of parental rights or adoption, that the parent(s) or guardian(s) either have willfully failed to visit or have willfully failed to support or have willfully failed to make reasonable payments toward the support of the child. Tenn.Code Ann. § 36-1-102(1)(A)(I).

There are no immediate facts to support such an action and no facts recited regarding to support payments.

 

[binary010]

As to the issue of TPR, the exact phrasing of the statute is:

(i) For a period of four (4) consecutive months immediately preceding the filing of a proceeding or pleading to terminate the parental rights of the parent(s) or guardian(s) of the child who is the subject of the petition for termination of parental rights or adoption, that the parent(s) or guardian(s) either have willfully failed to visit or have willfully failed to support or have willfully failed to make reasonable payments toward the support of the child. Tenn.Code Ann. § 36-1-102(1)(A)(I).

There are no immediate facts to support such an action and no facts recited regarding to support payments.

I believe we meet the standards for this statute. The biological mother has made no effort to visit, or make contact with, the children in over 12 months. She pays no form of support whatsoever. How do we not meet the criteria established in this statute?

 

[BelizeBreeze]

I believe we meet the standards for this statute. The biological mother has made no effort to visit, or make contact with, the children in over 12 months. She pays no form of support whatsoever. How do we not meet the criteria established in this statute?

Read the statute again and then your post. There is one word (standard) you have yet to provide proof for.

 

[ezmarelda]

Read the statute again and then your post. There is one word (standard) you have yet to provide proof for.

*waves hand in air*
oohh....oooh...I know I know
*bounces in desk chair*
I know this one...I do I do!
​

 

[bigshowecw]

sit still eme

*waves hand in air*
oohh....oooh...I know I know
*bounces in desk chair*
I know this one...I do I do!
​

either eme ate some mexican jumping beans, has to go to the bathroom real bad, or is doing his impersonation of arnold horshack

 

[ezmarelda]

either eme ate some mexican jumping beans, has to go to the bathroom real bad, or is doing his impersonation of arnold horshack

Oh ye of little knowlage I am only being overly sarcastic as to my knowlage of the word that BB doth speak. No eating of magic beans, nor needing to urinate and definatly not "his" impersonation of anyone

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

question-since when do stepparents have rights to their stepkids? answer-they dont. no matter how long theyve been in their stepkids lives, unless they adopt them, theyre, as other posters as stated, sol when it comes to getting custody of their stepkids. maybe you should go read a good book or something shay before you start belittling posters for their answers.

Or I could do what you do with all your spare time. I could spend my day getting banned from the internet, and making up fake names, addies, and stories.

By again Kelly.