step-parent adoption

[Scoutsgirl3]

What is the name of your state?Oregon.

My son has not seen his biological father in around 3 years. They haven't spoken in 2 1/2 years.Since then I've married and my son considers him daddy. I stopped allowing visitation when my son started exibiting signs of sexual and physical abuse. When he came back from his dad's he was dirty, had head lice, and a diaper rash so severe that he had to be put on steroids to get rid of it. The father uses drugs, extensively. His main source of income for a long time was selling drugs. Needless to say, I don't alow my son to be a part of that environment. I had a restraining order against him for a time for domestic violence, against me and my son. Now the question. My husband wants to adopt my son. His biological father would never allow it. For no other reason, than to hurt me. How do you go about getting a contested adoption and what are the chances?

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state?Oregon.

My son has not seen his biological father in around 3 years. They haven't spoken in 2 1/2 years.Since then I've married and my son considers him daddy. I stopped allowing visitation when my son started exibiting signs of sexual and physical abuse. When he came back from his dad's he was dirty, had head lice, and a diaper rash so severe that he had to be put on steroids to get rid of it. The father uses drugs, extensively. His main source of income for a long time was selling drugs. Needless to say, I don't alow my son to be a part of that environment. I had a restraining order against him for a time for domestic violence, against me and my son. Now the question. My husband wants to adopt my son. His biological father would never allow it. For no other reason, than to hurt me. How do you go about getting a contested adoption and what are the chances?

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=302737

double post

 

[Scoutsgirl3]

Yes, I did post in the other forum. But these are two seperate issues, one having nothing to do with the other.

 

[seniorjudge]

Yes, I did post in the other forum. But these are two seperate issues, one having nothing to do with the other.

Okay, here's what you said in your first post:

What is the name of your state?Oregon. Ok Here's the deal. 7 years ago I gave my daughter's to thier dad, because I was messedup and couldn't take care of them. I made the descision for thier benefit. Today, I have six years clean and I see my daughter's on a regular basis. The problem. Dad is not doing so well. His drinking is out of control( I know this because we are friends now.) My daughter's whom are 8 and 9 are wearing clothing suitable for strippers. I have remarried to a wonderful man whom loves the girls very much. We also have two children together. WE are becoming very concerned about what is going on in thier home. Dad no longer returns phone calls, then gets mad when we don't assume return times for the girls. His new girlfriend seems to think that allowing children to run rampant is ok. There are no rules or discipline in the home. Basically, what was once a very loving and responsible father, has turned into an irresponsible man. Also we have a daughter who is struggling in school. She is being tested for ADD. Dad is funtionally illiterate due to dyslexia and can'y help her with her homework. So he doesn't even bother to check to see if she has any. I have made special arrangements with her teacher to have all her homework for the week sent home on fridays, so I can spend our weekend getting her caught up. He never takes them to the doctor and becomes angry when I do. My nine year old has had to have several fillings and a tooth pulled, even though he was told to take them to the dentist. He refuses. Do I have a prayer? What in god's name do I do? I'm sorry This is so long and this is only the tip of the iceberg. I'm just a little lost as far as how to proceed.

 

[Scoutsgirl3]

Two different men, two different situations. I'm curious why it matters. The first post was in child custody over an issue with my daughters and thier father. I posted here in regards to my current husband and my son's biological father. My son considers my husband his father which is why I state that we have two children together. I'm just curious as to if it's possible for my current husband to adopt my son, whose father is not the same man as my daughters' father.

 

[seniorjudge]

What is the name of your state?Oregon.

My son has not seen his biological father in around 3 years. They haven't spoken in 2 1/2 years.Since then I've married and my son considers him daddy. I stopped allowing visitation when my son started exibiting signs of sexual and physical abuse. When he came back from his dad's he was dirty, had head lice, and a diaper rash so severe that he had to be put on steroids to get rid of it. The father uses drugs, extensively. His main source of income for a long time was selling drugs. Needless to say, I don't alow my son to be a part of that environment. I had a restraining order against him for a time for domestic violence, against me and my son. Now the question. My husband wants to adopt my son. His biological father would never allow it. For no other reason, than to hurt me. How do you go about getting a contested adoption and what are the chances?

Q: How do you go about getting a contested adoption and what are the chances?

A: Okay, the idea of a "contested adoption has always seemed very strange to me. BUT there are such critters, I've heard. Anyway, you will need to terminate bio's rights and for that to happen, you will need an exceptionally strong and provable case.

For example, if you told me, "I stopped allowing visitation when my son started exibiting signs of sexual and physical abuse," I would say, let me see the police reports you made.

 

[Scoutsgirl3]

Thank you for the information. We have made calls to CPS and had an interview done by a psychologist. Due to his age at the time of the offense and my son's unique condition(autism) they were unable to od a forensic interview. I did call the police and was told that nothing could be done. I do appreciate your info.