Step-parent question

[souptonuts]

What is the name of your state? Illinois

I'm married to a man with 2 minor daughters (7-8yrs) from a deadbeat mom they hardly ever see. We have full custody of them as well as our birth daughter (14mos) together. I just found out that I'm not the beneficiary on my husbands life insurance policies but that my Mother-in-Law is. He said the reason for this is to save me from any grief that the girls mother may bring on when she catches wind of some money her girls are entitled to because she will blow it all on herself. He said he would be saving me major legal fees (brought on by birth mother by suing me for 2/3rds of the $) by placing the beneficiary in someone who is "further removed from me". In order to keep this family together in the event of my husbands demise, my MIL is prepared to give "blood money" to the birth mother to just "walk away" and not cause problems or make waves. The girls and my own daughter are so close and we are a tight family. My husband spoke to a lawyer to set all this up before we were married so my question is...

1) does it make sense that a lawyer advised to set up the beneficiary to the MIL?
2) Now that my husband and I are married, does it make sense to change the beneficiary to me since I hold the best interest of the girls?
3) Can this money be placed in bullet proof trusts now to prevent the birth mother from spending it all on herself?

Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[divgradcurl]

1) does it make sense that a lawyer advised to set up the beneficiary to the MIL?

Nobody can say without knowing all of the facts.

2) Now that my husband and I are married, does it make sense to change the beneficiary to me since I hold the best interest of the girls?

Not necessarily.

3) Can this money be placed in bullet proof trusts now to prevent the birth mother from spending it all on herself?

No trust is completely bulletproof. But trusts can be set up.

Unless you adopt these girls, if your husband were to die and to leave the life insurance policy with you in charge, there would be no obligation for YOU to take care of the girls, and if you died without a will, the girls would take nothing. From his perspective, even though he probably has nothing to worry about with you, if he dies, the birth mother will almost certainly be taking a more active role in the girl's lives, and maybe this is the best way to spare you the grief of dealing with her. Who knows. If you are really concerned, sit down and talk with your husband -- this isn't really a "legal" issue.

 

[souptonuts]

It most certainly IS a legal question

Nobody can say without knowing all of the facts.



Not necessarily.



No trust is completely bulletproof. But trusts can be set up.

Unless you adopt these girls, if your husband were to die and to leave the life insurance policy with you in charge, there would be no obligation for YOU to take care of the girls, and if you died without a will, the girls would take nothing. From his perspective, even though he probably has nothing to worry about with you, if he dies, the birth mother will almost certainly be taking a more active role in the girl's lives, and maybe this is the best way to spare you the grief of dealing with her. Who knows. If you are really concerned, sit down and talk with your husband -- this isn't really a "legal" issue.

It's TOTALLY a legal issue... if BM sniffs around for some sort of "share" she thinks she is entitled to and I get served... guess who I get to hire. YES, A LAWYER!!