Step-parents who keep being told they are "legal strangers"

[proudfatherof1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Some of the step-parents who are looking for advice and being told they are just "legal strangers" should look up de facto parent. You do not even have to be a step-parent to fall into this. If you are someone who cares for a childs daily needs and have done so for atleast 2 years you could be concidered a de facto parent through the courts. Do some research.. Especially some of you who have been in a childs life as a mother or father for longer than 2 years..

“Under the ALI [American Law Institute] definition, a de facto parent is a person who shares (at least) equally in primary childcare responsibilities while residing with a child for reasons other than money. The de facto parent’s assumption of childcare responsibilities must be either with the agreement of the natural parent or result from a parent’s inability to care for the child” (Mason & Zavac, 2002, p.232).

“A de facto parent is an individual other than a legal parent or a parent by estoppel who, for a significant period of time not less than two years, (i) lived with the child and, (ii) for reasons primarily other than financial compensation, and with the agreement of a legal parent to form a parent-child relationship, or as a result of a complete failure or inability of any legal parent to perform caretaking functions, (A) regularly performed a majority of the caretaking functions for the child, or (B) regularly performed a share of caretaking functions at least as great as that of the parent with whom the child primarily lived” (American Law Institute, 2002, p.107-108).

 

[Zigner]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Some of the step-parents who are looking for advice and being told they are just "legal strangers" should look up de facto parent. You do not even have to be a step-parent to fall into this. If you are someone who cares for a childs daily needs and have done so for atleast 2 years you could be concidered a de facto parent through the courts. Do some research.. Especially some of you who have been in a childs life as a mother or father for longer than 2 years..

“Under the ALI [American Law Institute] definition, a de facto parent is a person who shares (at least) equally in primary childcare responsibilities while residing with a child for reasons other than money. The de facto parent’s assumption of childcare responsibilities must be either with the agreement of the natural parent or result from a parent’s inability to care for the child” (Mason & Zavac, 2002, p.232).

“A de facto parent is an individual other than a legal parent or a parent by estoppel who, for a significant period of time not less than two years, (i) lived with the child and, (ii) for reasons primarily other than financial compensation, and with the agreement of a legal parent to form a parent-child relationship, or as a result of a complete failure or inability of any legal parent to perform caretaking functions, (A) regularly performed a majority of the caretaking functions for the child, or (B) regularly performed a share of caretaking functions at least as great as that of the parent with whom the child primarily lived” (American Law Institute, 2002, p.107-108).

This does not change the fact that step's ARE legal strangers. But nice try

 

[stealth2]

*facepalm*

OP - you don't get to replace Mom this easily.

 

[CJane]

“Under the ALI [American Law Institute] definition, a de facto parent is a person who shares (at least) equally in primary childcare responsibilities while residing with a child for reasons other than money. The de facto parent’s assumption of childcare responsibilities must be either with the agreement of the natural parent or result from a parent’s inability to care for the child” (Mason & Zavac, 2002, p.232).

“A de facto parent is an individual other than a legal parent or a parent by estoppel who, for a significant period of time not less than two years, (i) lived with the child and, (ii) for reasons primarily other than financial compensation, and with the agreement of a legal parent to form a parent-child relationship, or as a result of a complete failure or inability of any legal parent to perform caretaking functions, (A) regularly performed a majority of the caretaking functions for the child, or (B) regularly performed a share of caretaking functions at least as great as that of the parent with whom the child primarily lived” (American Law Institute, 2002, p.107-108).

Yeah, that totally sums up step-parents. Dumb. E.

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

Some of the step-parents who are looking for advice and being told they are just "legal strangers" should look up de facto parent. You do not even have to be a step-parent to fall into this. If you are someone who cares for a childs daily needs and have done so for atleast 2 years you could be concidered a de facto parent through the courts. Do some research.. Especially some of you who have been in a childs life as a mother or father for longer than 2 years..

“Under the ALI [American Law Institute] definition, a de facto parent is a person who shares (at least) equally in primary childcare responsibilities while residing with a child for reasons other than money. The de facto parent’s assumption of childcare responsibilities must be either with the agreement of the natural parent or result from a parent’s inability to care for the child” (Mason & Zavac, 2002, p.232).

“A de facto parent is an individual other than a legal parent or a parent by estoppel who, for a significant period of time not less than two years, (i) lived with the child and, (ii) for reasons primarily other than financial compensation, and with the agreement of a legal parent to form a parent-child relationship, or as a result of a complete failure or inability of any legal parent to perform caretaking functions, (A) regularly performed a majority of the caretaking functions for the child, or (B) regularly performed a share of caretaking functions at least as great as that of the parent with whom the child primarily lived” (American Law Institute, 2002, p.107-108).

Some of the newbies posting should understand what they post before they spout off.

And they should understand that MANY states don't even recognize the concept of the de facto parent.

 

[mistoffolees]

Some of the newbies posting should understand that what they post before they spout off.

And they should understand that MANY states don't even recognize the concept of the de facto parent.

And even in the ones where it IS recognized, only a very tiny percentage of stepparents meet the definition.

 

[Antigone*]

US LAW ONLY

 

[Zigner]

US LAW ONLY

Hey, that's MY line!

 

[neopandora]

And even in the ones where it IS recognized, only a very tiny percentage of stepparents meet the definition.

This is an excellent point! I live in a state (TN) where it IS recognized and I can count on 1 hand how many situations I've seen where it applied. It's much more complicated than the definitions posed (at least here). My understanding is the definition is just a starting point as to who *could* be a defacto parent. It doesn't define the other parameters that determine if you are a defacto parent (and that is unbelievably rare).

 

[janM]

Most defacto situations are one in which the parents are absent and the child is being raised by a family friend, grandparent or other relative. It does not usually apply to situations where both the parents are raising the kids, separately or not.

 

[Proserpina]

Most defacto situations are one in which the parents are absent and the child is being raised by a family friend, grandparent or other relative. It does not usually apply to situations where both the parents are raising the kids, separately or not.

And that is an excellent point!