Step son is stealing needs based $40K/semester assistances, the school doesn't care?

[optimx]

What is the name of your state? rather not say, it is an Ivy League

Wife's kid (I've not adopted him). He lived with me since he was seven, when we wed.

First semester back, the kid failed a few classes and got a DUI, him and his mom got in an argument and the kid just left to go live with his dad. Dad is a workaholic and never really spent time with the kid, but now all of that suddenly changed. The mom hates the dad and got jealous and called the school to try to get some of the money back (she paid the kids sparing for books, meals etc.) and force the kid to get it from his dad.

She finds out there is not expenses, and the kids been on a needs based scholarship that covers tuition, room, meals, etc. The kid lied to us and told us he was getting a loan. Basically the mom got jealous he was loving his dad and called the school to report my income and assets are wrong for that needs based schlorship. Wife has low income and her's is correct, but mines reported at $35k (I make well over $400k). The school essentially hung up and said she is not me and they need to talk to me.

She then tries to pressure me into reporting it. I don't want to get involved in this stuff. Never had an issue with the kid, but to be honest, never really knew the kid either. He just stayed in his room and played video games and computer coding or what not.

After repeated trying to pressuring me into doing it, I start asking some friends and family and they give me the same advice, I need to report it and clear my name of the situation, especially since I had no part of it.

I call and an receptionist who claims to know everything, tells they didn't have his fathers income/assets because the kid said his father's whereabouts are unknown (complete lie, and his dad is wealthy), and the mom and step dad's (me) info was used to generate the needs based scholarship. I then tried to tell her my info is not correct, then she switches the script and says "we only look at the biological parents, so it wouldn't matter". I remind her that she told me something different literally three minutes ago, and she tells me to hang and transfers me to the financial aid office (and obviously talks to them prior to the transfer). The fin aid office tells me the kid signed a Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), so they couldn't discuss anything with me unless the kid is present. Next day some higher up in the fin aid office calls and leaves me a voicemail to call him back. I tried to call him back twice over the past two weeks and left him voice mails but he never called back.

Wife calls the school pretending to have a prospect student and talks to fin aid and every time they tell her the same thing both parents and step parents income/assets are required and both will factor into determine needs based assistance.

I tried to talk to three lawyers, first two receptionists took notes but no one called back - probably not anything they deal with. Other guy doesn't seem like he has many clients and told me $500 to write a letter to the school but was honest and said I don't know if the affect will be any different than you calling or writing the same letter yourself.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? rather not say, it is an Ivy League

Wife's kid (I've not adopted him). He lived with me since he was seven, when we wed.

First semester back, the kid failed a few classes and got a DUI, him and his mom got in an argument and the kid just left to go live with his dad. Dad is a workaholic and never really spent time with the kid, but now all of that suddenly changed. The mom hates the dad and got jealous and called the school to try to get some of the money back (she paid the kids sparing for books, meals etc.) and force the kid to get it from his dad.

Your wife sounds like a real peach. She had no right to try to get money back from the school.

She finds out there is not expenses, and the kids been on a needs based scholarship that covers tuition, room, meals, etc. The kid lied to us and told us he was getting a loan. Basically the mom got jealous he was loving his dad and called the school to report my income and assets are wrong for that needs based schlorship. Wife has low income and her's is correct, but mines reported at $35k (I make well over $400k). The school essentially hung up and said she is not me and they need to talk to me.

Ivy League is expensive. Most students qualify for needs based scholarships there.

She then tries to pressure me into reporting it. I don't want to get involved in this stuff. Never had an issue with the kid, but to be honest, never really knew the kid either. He just stayed in his room and played video games and computer coding or what not.

After repeated trying to pressuring me into doing it, I start asking some friends and family and they give me the same advice, I need to report it and clear my name of the situation, especially since I had no part of it.

Unless you signed the paperwork for financial aid, you have no issue.

I call and an receptionist who claims to know everything, tells they didn't have his fathers income/assets because the kid said his father's whereabouts are unknown (complete lie, and his dad is wealthy), and the mom and step dad's (me) info was used to generate the needs based scholarship. I then tried to tell her my info is not correct, then she switches the script and says "we only look at the biological parents, so it wouldn't matter". I remind her that she told me something different literally three minutes ago, and she tells me to hang and transfers me to the financial aid office (and obviously talks to them prior to the transfer). The fin aid office tells me the kid signed a Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), so they couldn't discuss anything with me unless the kid is present. Next day some higher up in the fin aid office calls and leaves me a voicemail to call him back. I tried to call him back twice over the past two weeks and left him voice mails but he never called back.

Your stepson is an adult. Neither you nor your wife are entitled to any of his educational information without his permission.

Wife calls the school pretending to have a prospect student and talks to fin aid and every time they tell her the same thing both parents and step parents income/assets are required and both will factor into determine needs based assistance.

So your wife is a liar.

I tried to talk to three lawyers, first two receptionists took notes but no one called back - probably not anything they deal with. Other guy doesn't seem like he has many clients and told me $500 to write a letter to the school but was honest and said I don't know if the affect will be any different than you calling or writing the same letter yourself.

You and your wife have NO RIGHTS to his information. None at all. The fact that your wife is a hateful person who will lie to get what she wants says a lot about her lack of character. And that is based on what you have stated.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? rather not say, it is an Ivy League

Wife's kid (I've not adopted him). He lived with me since he was seven, when we wed.

First semester back, the kid failed a few classes and got a DUI, him and his mom got in an argument and the kid just left to go live with his dad. Dad is a workaholic and never really spent time with the kid, but now all of that suddenly changed. The mom hates the dad and got jealous and called the school to try to get some of the money back (she paid the kids sparing for books, meals etc.) and force the kid to get it from his dad.

She finds out there is not expenses, and the kids been on a needs based scholarship that covers tuition, room, meals, etc. The kid lied to us and told us he was getting a loan. Basically the mom got jealous he was loving his dad and called the school to report my income and assets are wrong for that needs based schlorship. Wife has low income and her's is correct, but mines reported at $35k (I make well over $400k). The school essentially hung up and said she is not me and they need to talk to me.

She then tries to pressure me into reporting it. I don't want to get involved in this stuff. Never had an issue with the kid, but to be honest, never really knew the kid either. He just stayed in his room and played video games and computer coding or what not.

After repeated trying to pressuring me into doing it, I start asking some friends and family and they give me the same advice, I need to report it and clear my name of the situation, especially since I had no part of it.

I call and an receptionist who claims to know everything, tells they didn't have his fathers income/assets because the kid said his father's whereabouts are unknown (complete lie, and his dad is wealthy), and the mom and step dad's (me) info was used to generate the needs based scholarship. I then tried to tell her my info is not correct, then she switches the script and says "we only look at the biological parents, so it wouldn't matter". I remind her that she told me something different literally three minutes ago, and she tells me to hang and transfers me to the financial aid office (and obviously talks to them prior to the transfer). The fin aid office tells me the kid signed a Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA), so they couldn't discuss anything with me unless the kid is present. Next day some higher up in the fin aid office calls and leaves me a voicemail to call him back. I tried to call him back twice over the past two weeks and left him voice mails but he never called back.

Wife calls the school pretending to have a prospect student and talks to fin aid and every time they tell her the same thing both parents and step parents income/assets are required and both will factor into determine needs based assistance.

I tried to talk to three lawyers, first two receptionists took notes but no one called back - probably not anything they deal with. Other guy doesn't seem like he has many clients and told me $500 to write a letter to the school but was honest and said I don't know if the affect will be any different than you calling or writing the same letter yourself.

I don't understand why you think that you need to "clear your name". You weren't involved in any of this. That is the reason why you cannot find an interested/enthusiastic attorney. I am appalled at mom quite frankly. It would be one thing if she was doing this because she truly believed that what her child had done was morally wrong, but that isn't why she is doing it. She is doing it out of spite.

 

[AlmostThere]

If the mom is doing this because she is jealous of the relationship between her son and his father, she is basically tanking the relationship between son and herself. She needs counseling to find a better way to deal with her relationships and emotions.

And you should set sound good boundaries that you will not be involved with her misguided actions.

 

[Zigner]

I'll be blunt: Butt out.

 

[commentator]

As far as I know, there has never been a financial aid package which did not start with a FAFSA form, an application for aid which requests and requires names and incomes from all the people who live in the student's home and are included on the taxes. There are all sorts of verifying informations required and it is pretty hard to deny or fake tax returns, This information includes step-parents if they live in the same household and are claiming the child on their income tax. I have rarely seen a young person who filled out their own, usually one of the parents is the one who has to come up with all this information.

From what I read, this young man had already started college, probably started off with this income information balogny.about how didn't have any contact with father, my stepather makes very small amount a year BEFORE Momma had the falling out with the son. Based on what else I've seen here, I'd cast BIG bets that Mom was the one who originally told all these whoppers about the child's income, and managed to get him these scholarships. Now she's trying to get them back, get him cut out to punish him. But I'd bet the original information all came from Momma. She knows what she told them, and SHE was the one who has lied so big here.

It'd be helpful to know exactly what kind of grant the child is getting, but as this whole mess is by his mother, between him and his mother, I'd let her deal with it. There's no reason you should try to "clear your name" that I can see, as eventually, if the grant were proven fraudulent, it would be asked for back to your stepson. Let mom handle it then. She just sounds like she's being very spiteful, trying for control.

 

[Ohiogal]

I'll be blunt: Butt out.

As far as I know, there has never been a financial aid package which did not start with a FAFSA form, an application for aid which requests and requires names and incomes from all the people who live in the student's home and are included on the taxes. There are all sorts of verifying informations required and it is pretty hard to deny or fake tax returns, This information includes step-parents if they live in the same household and are claiming the child on their income tax. I have rarely seen a young person who filled out their own, usually one of the parents is the one who has to come up with all this information.

From what I read, this young man had already started college, probably started off with this income information balogny.about how didn't have any contact with father, my stepather makes very small amount a year BEFORE Momma had the falling out with the son. Based on what else I've seen here, I'd cast BIG bets that Mom was the one who originally told all these whoppers about the child's income, and managed to get him these scholarships. Now she's trying to get them back, get him cut out to punish him. But I'd bet the original information all came from Momma. She knows what she told them, and SHE was the one who has lied so big here.

It'd be helpful to know exactly what kind of grant the child is getting, but as this whole mess is by his mother, between him and his mother, I'd let her deal with it. There's no reason you should try to "clear your name" that I can see, as eventually, if the grant were proven fraudulent, it would be asked for back to your stepson. Let mom handle it then. She just sounds like she's being very spiteful, trying for control.

And to add to these two posts -- if your wife told the whoppers, you should probably BUTT completely out -- as in divorce the lying fraud.

 

[Just Blue]

And to add to these two posts -- if your wife told the whoppers, you should probably BUTT completely out -- as in divorce the lying fraud.

Heck, I wouldn't stay married to a person that would do this to their child. Vile.

 

[zddoodah]

What is the name of your state? rather not say, it is an Ivy League

So...Rhode Island, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, New Jersey or Connecticut.

Wife's kid (I've not adopted him). He lived with me since he was seven, when we wed.

How old is this child? Sounds like he's an adult in college.

Beyond all that, you didn't ask a question, and I'm not sure what the point of your post is. This situation doesn't seem to concern you from a legal perspective. You obviously have some issues with your wife (some of the behavior you described could be construed as "crazy"). If I were you, I'd stay as far away from the situation as I could.

 

[not2cleverRed]

Beyond all that, you didn't ask a question, and I'm not sure what the point of your post is.

OP's question is: "How can I help my wife screw over her son as much as possible?"