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stepchild adoption

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elena

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Florida

My oldest daughter is 7 has never met her biological father. She knows her stepdad isn't her real dad, having met him at age 3 and understanding that we "came together" to be a family. He also has a son, who is 6, and watching his relationship with his mother has indicated to her that stepdad isn't her real daddy. Although she has this understanding, she also hasn't asked about her biological father, but I expect that one day soon she will. Her biological father told me he didn't want a baby at all, and never contacted me after we separated, although he knew exactly where to find me. I was on medicaid at the time and he was sought after for child support, however he could not be located and I would have had to pay to reopen the case. My subsequent decision was to not chase a man who didn't want me or his daughter. I spoke with an attorney shortly after she was born who advised me to do nothing and wait to file for abandonment which I believe he told me was on a case by case basis. Until now I knew she wasn't ready for any sort of truth concerning her real dad. But her awareness of our family dynamic is growing, and I want to be able to be truthful with her, without hurting her.

Neither I nor my husband intend for him to adopt her right now. We would like to wait until she is older and understands the magnitude of that change, as well as why her biological father is not in her life. Any information I receive from here is simply to gain a better idea of what our options are in the future.

My question (finally--and I apologize for being longwinded) is if she decides that she wants her stepdad to adopt her despite possessing knowledge of her biological father, would we have to file for abandonment first and then adopt? Or would that be included in the adoption process? For example, placing an ad in the paper for him to respond to by a certain date.
 


BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
O.K. let's take the less tedious issues first.

How do you KNOW the child's father does not want a relationship with the child? You are assuming where there could be any number of reasons.

Did CSE in Florida file an administrative determination of paternity along with their case against the father? If they did, then the reason you will be required to get his consent to the adoption is because he is considered, by law, the child's father.

A good-faith and diligent effort must be made to obtain consent within 60 days after filing the petition. Consent is binding from the time it is given, unless the court finds that it was obtained by fraud or duress.


Now, on to the abandonment issue.

There is no reason to wait on filing for abandonment and termination of parental rights so that your new husband can adopt except for money. The florida court (as well as the U.S. Supreme Court) has already addressed the situation and has concluded that abandonment can be viewed in light of the parent's actions during pregnancy and subsequently.

In the present case, with no emotional nor financial contact, and IF there has been an administrative finding of parentage, abandonment can be litigated immediately. There is no set statutory time you must wait.
 

elena

Junior Member
Thank you kindly for your response.

In answer to your question: How do you KNOW the child's father does not want a relationship with the child? He told me. We went back and forth on that very issue when I told him I was pregnant. He said the child would ruin our lives. I disagreed. THAT was tedious. He abruptly left my apartment after our last argument--where I told him that we couldn't be together but I would welcome him to be in our child's life. He left and didn't come back.

I didn't ask him then, but I've often wondered if he'd be willing to sign away rights. I have no idea. It would be nice. But I won't assume he would do so, regardless of what I think.

Thank you for your information concerning abandonment.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
elena said:
Thank you kindly for your response.

In answer to your question: How do you KNOW the child's father does not want a relationship with the child? He told me. We went back and forth on that very issue when I told him I was pregnant. He said the child would ruin our lives. I disagreed. THAT was tedious. He abruptly left my apartment after our last argument--where I told him that we couldn't be together but I would welcome him to be in our child's life. He left and didn't come back.
That's what I thought. And since then have YOU made any effort to contact him?
 

elena

Junior Member
BelizeBreeze said:
That's what I thought. And since then have YOU made any effort to contact him?
I don't know where he is and I can't find him. Last I heard he was still in the same location, but I have looked him up several times since and he wasn't there. I know that if someone isn't hiding they're not hard to find. Whether or not he is hiding I don't know. My last attempt at finding him was a few months ago.

I must admit that I feel nauseated everytime I think of finding him. But I know that the law does not regard my feelings, just the facts. My intentions are to be prepared for whatever the future holds.
 

elena

Junior Member
Did CSE in Florida file an administrative determination of paternity along with their case against the father?

My aplologies, I missed this question. I do not know for sure if they did or not. He is not on her birth certificate either.
 
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