stepmom being attacked

[lejeff25]

What is the name of your state? Texas

Since the beginning of my husband and I's relationship his ex-wife has not been nice at all. In the last 6 months she has filed false CPS report on me, then now that we are back in court because she wants custody she tried to claim I was pregnant and that it would cause financial, emotional and time stress on our family which would effect their child. We went to court and they motioned for the final hearing to be put off so the child could go to counciling due to suspicion of mental, emotional and physical abuse the child is recieving from me the step mom. I barely even spank my children. WHY? WHY? WHY is she attacking me so much? She never says anything negative about my husband. I have a son with my ex-husband and he is starting to have problems with our sons envolvement with all of this. What can I do, if anything, to keep her from constantly attacking me, I fear all of this my lead to my ex-husband trying to file for custody of our son. I am a great mom and we had so many people send referalls for us to the courts.

 

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state? Texas

Since the beginning of my husband and I's relationship his ex-wife has not been nice at all. In the last 6 months she has filed false CPS report on me, then now that we are back in court because she wants custody she tried to claim I was pregnant and that it would cause financial, emotional and time stress on our family which would effect their child. We went to court and they motioned for the final hearing to be put off so the child could go to counciling due to suspicion of mental, emotional and physical abuse the child is recieving from me the step mom. I barely even spank my children. WHY? WHY? WHY is she attacking me so much? She never says anything negative about my husband. I have a son with my ex-husband and he is starting to have problems with our sons envolvement with all of this. What can I do, if anything, to keep her from constantly attacking me, I fear all of this my lead to my ex-husband trying to file for custody of our son. I am a great mom and we had so many people send referalls for us to the courts.

not much, except to keep yourself and your behavior above reproach

mom is using anything she can....don't give her ammo

 

[lejeff25]

thank you. I havn't yet, but it is hard to basically be the perfect parent.

 

[xKellyx]

thank you. I havn't yet, but it is hard to basically be the perfect parent.

It seems like any person (step or parent) involved with these situations, has to be the most perfect step mom or mom (dad, stepdad). You aren't allowed to make any mistakes. Its pretty crazy, and I'm sorry you have to go through it.

And I am not a the stepmom in my situation, but i do get attacked by the stepmom on a weekly basis.

 

[lejeff25]

I never attack her that is her mother. I'm actually good friends with my sons stepmom. She even talks to my mother on the phone too.

 

[xKellyx]

I never attack her that is her mother. I'm actually good friends with my sons stepmom. She even talks to my mother on the phone too.

I wasn't insinuating that you attack anyone, I was merely agreeing with you that it does suck when a parent or step parent attacks you on a regular basis, and that would be reffering to your husbands ex-wife.

 

[lejeff25]

oh no i'm sorry. I was just adding a comment. I knew you were agreeing with me

 

[daddyoftwins]

ignore the witch and she'll fly away on her broomstick

just ignore the ole battle ax, i mean your husband's ex. she'll get tired of it after awhile and stop. when you repsond, thats exactly what she wants, and she'll keep annoying you.

 

[LdiJ]

oh no i'm sorry. I was just adding a comment. I knew you were agreeing with me

I will also add, that the more you stay completely away from anything and everything to do with the co-parenting relationship between your husband and mom....and the more you step back from the parenting relationship between your husband and his child....the better.

If mom can't view you as anything other than "neutral" in her child's life...the less ammo she will have to make other allegations.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

just ignore the ole battle ax, i mean your husband's ex. she'll get tired of it after awhile and stop. when you repsond, thats exactly what she wants, and she'll keep annoying you.

Kelly, you have already been banned for this type of posting. She has to respond, as it is in the court system.

Go away you psychotic troll.

 

[kookoo]

It is not an easy role to have. I am a stepmother as well and have had to constantly deal with melodrama from the BM about me. I have also been assaulted and the list goes on and on, these things are pretty hard to ignore but for my stepdaughters sake I just keep my cool. Let her call CPS, if you have nothing to hide,then the unfounded cases just make BM look like she is just causing trouble. Just never sink to her level and try to stay out of the line of fire. I find it best to just let them do what they do, and I will stay over here and take care of my business, sometimes when you think you are helping, its only making it worse, not only on the child, but on the father too. Good luck to you and your family

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? Texas

Since the beginning of my husband and I's relationship his ex-wife has not been nice at all. In the last 6 months she has filed false CPS report on me, then now that we are back in court because she wants custody she tried to claim I was pregnant and that it would cause financial, emotional and time stress on our family which would effect their child. We went to court and they motioned for the final hearing to be put off so the child could go to counciling due to suspicion of mental, emotional and physical abuse the child is recieving from me the step mom. I barely even spank my children. WHY? WHY? WHY is she attacking me so much? She never says anything negative about my husband. I have a son with my ex-husband and he is starting to have problems with our sons envolvement with all of this. What can I do, if anything, to keep her from constantly attacking me, I fear all of this my lead to my ex-husband trying to file for custody of our son. I am a great mom and we had so many people send referalls for us to the courts.

Document every malicious act she initiates against you. Tape phone conversations, get records from the court and CPS proving her accusations
are unfounded. File a police report for harrassment and speak to a lawyer about suing her for libel and/or slander. Hopefully, just the threat of pressing charges or suing her will make her stop. If not, follow through with the threat.

Your ex-husband has good cause to worry. Even though you are a good mom and the charges are unfounded, if it continues, it will more than likely cause alot of undue stress in the household, which can be grounds for your ex to ask for custody, if you are not doing anything to try and stop it, like calling the police.

Call CPS and ask what they have done in response to her filing a false report. It is a crime in Texas to file a false report with CPS and it is within thier rights to prosicute. If they proved that her original claim was completely false and filed only as a means to harrass you, push them to file criminal charges.

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Document every malicious act she initiates against you. Tape phone conversations, get records from the court and CPS proving her accusations
are unfounded. File a police report for harrassment and speak to a lawyer about suing her for libel and/or slander. Hopefully, just the threat of pressing charges or suing her will make her stop. If not, follow through with the threat.

Your ex-husband has good cause to worry. Even though you are a good mom and the charges are unfounded, if it continues, it will more than likely cause alot of undue stress in the household, which can be grounds for your ex to ask for custody, if you are not doing anything to try and stop it, like calling the police.

Call CPS and ask what they have done in response to her filing a false report. It is a crime in Texas to file a false report with CPS and it is within thier rights to prosicute. If they proved that her original claim was completely false and filed only as a means to harrass you, push them to file criminal charges.

Are you related to Kelly?

 

[ceara19]

Are you related to Kelly?

Who's Kelly?

 

[424Smudge]

As a step-mom myself I can offer these simple suggestions:

1) DON"T EVER TALK TO HER! If she calls and your husband and the child are not home then inform her of this and tell her you will tell them you called and hang up. You never know how some of the simpleist things you say to her can become misconstrued.

2) NEVER HIT OR SPANK THEIR CHILD. Plain and simple, you have no authority to do that. Now I'm not saying that you can't discipline but there are other ways.

3) DON'T SPANK YOUR CHILDREN IN FRONT OF THEIR CHILD. It can cause the other child to think that they can get away with things and not have to suffer the same consenquences. I personally think that spanking is never required but everybody has their own views on the matter.

4) NEVER argue with your hubbie within hearing range of the child. If the child tells mom about this it can and WILL be used against you.

5) If at all possible try to keep yourself away from any and all contack with her. If you are at school events then stay away from mom as much as huminly possible.

6) NEVER RETALIATE!!! This should be number 1. If mom knows that she will get a rise out of you it will only push you further. If she calls CPS simply deal with CPS when they come. 99% of the time they will see it for what it is... a woman pissed off that her ex got over her and is doing everything that she can to get back at him.

7) DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!!!! Keep records of everything. I Know that CPS will not release records if the incident is unfounded but make sure you get the case workers name and contact info when they come to see you so that at least that person can be subpoenaed. Keep a written diary. We did this and it paid off big time. When mom went to court and tried to claim that dad had not even tried to contact the children for 6 months straight we pulled out copies of all of our phone records to show that he had called at least 3 times a week for all of the 6 months and that mom was just not answering the phone when she saw it was him calling.