steps to take

[questionforall]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? CT

I am unmarried, living with S/O for 6 years. We live in my home, purchased prior to him moving in. We share bills. The relationship is no longer working. What do I have to do to get him out. I think it will be messy once I make the decision. How much time do I need to give him to leave, how can I stop him from taking things that don't beling to him. Do I have to have him served legally? Can he be made to leave right away? I am a bit scared what his reaction will be.

 

[justalayman]

You will have to evict him as a landlord would a tenant because, in the eyes of the law, that is what he is.

You cannot get him removed immediately but if he does become threatening or violent, of course call the police who can deal with the situation.

how can I stop him from taking things that don't beling to him.

you can call the police and report a theft but honestly, they will likely refuse to get involved because your ex will likely claim the items are his. If so, you would be relegated to suing him in civil court for the return of the items of the value of them. Courts hate to deal with situations such as you have as there is usually no clear cut solution to the division of property and the courts cannot treat it like a marriage, since it isn't.

 

[tuffbrk]

If there is an item that you treasure, that does not belong to him, you may want to consider removing it from the home and storing it where he cannot gain access to it.
As for the rest? Keep in mind that it's just "stuff." Nowhere near as important as your mental and emotional health and your safety.

If you are concerned about his behavior upon receiving notice of eviction, I'd suggest a few proactive steps to take before sending that certified letter -
1) Program 911 as a speed dial number on your phone
2)Take pictures of your home, inside and out
3) Remove and store any cherished items (after 25 yrs of marriage, the only thing that I really refused to part with was my KitchenAid mixer. I kept it at a locker at my workplace).
4) File for eviction
5) You have to talk with him and let him know that you are ending the relationship and would like him to leave. If you are lucky he will make arrangements quickly. If not, the eviction paperwork is coming anyway.
6) If he threatens you or if you feel he is threatening you, call the police.
7) Keep a bag packed in the trunk of your car and make arrangements in advance to stay with a friend, relative, motel, etc. if it becomes necessary to do so.

Having all of your ducks in a row will help you get through this. Please let us know how it goes.

Good luck.