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Still Married But Living Apart

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I am in MD, & I live a few miles from my wife. My families [most] want this marriage to end, my dad did not want it from the start. She is 32 years old now & I am 47 years old, she is black were I am white. She is in a wheelchair were I can walk, she has a lot of medical problems. Dad says I cannot take care of someone with problems, she has been in nursing home & hospitals. I do not know if she is doing this to get me to come back to her or not, I do not know if I can take care of her or not anymore, there should be something I can do. I still love her, but am :confused: on what to do.

If I go back to her;

* Dad washes his hands of me
* I lose the families
* She may lose her SSI

If I go with this divorce;

* I lose her

It seems when your mentaly disabled you have no rights or say on what you want :(.

God bless!


Senior Member
Guess the question is, WHAT DO YOU WANT??? Your spouse or your father/family? You were obviously color blind when you married her, is that not the case now? Is your dad running your life now as well as he did when you were a minor? Are you not able to make decisions on your own? Who are you trying to please, your wife or father or family? what would you do if your father was no longer with you in this life??

In my opinion, when your parents had you they were responsible for you until age of adulthood and let you go to make a life for yourself and you did, and should still..... Your family was never responsible for you at all,..... then you got married and you Vowed in the eyes of God and the state of MD to take care of your wife whether she was black white walking or not.... if you want to divorce her it should be because you do not love her anymore... but not because she belongs in a hospital or nursing home or where ever or because your dad does not approve... if he didn’t then he wont ever, if you married her with his disapproval then I’m sure it still stands.. what make a difference now???

is your wife not your best friend, your lover, your pal, your soul mate?? You need to make a decision on what your going to do, Please your father/family or please yourself...... you can not look to an advice forum for your answers or for someone to tell you WHAT TO DO, you are the only one who can make that decision...

if you love your wife then stand behind her and your vows, if you don’t then do what you have to do to make yourself happy...... but do what's right...... this is just my opinion but the ultimate decision is yours.... good luck to you...


Senior Member
Robbie, who is taking care of her now? Is she living on her own, with a relative or in a group care facility? What makes you think she will lose her SSI? Or is it something else like low income housing?

Like Nailtech said, it's got to be up to you. We can't make that choice for you. Do you love this woman (because your last post mentioned you had eyes for another) or are you just afraid of not finding someone else and being alone? (and Robbie, we ALL are afraid of being alone.)

If you are 47, you Dad has got to be getting up there in years. I imagine he is worried about you and his threats are basically out of concern. Probably his worry is over what is going to happen to you once he is gone. Will you be okay or in a situation that you can't handle.

I think that this is eating you up inside. Once you make a firm choice, either way, stick to your guns. It's a rock and a hard place, I for one can feel your pain....sadly, there just doesn't seem to be an easy answer.

Good Luck!



Robbie, this is not a malicious comment, but you are in the wrong forum. You should seek the counseling of a mental health physician. Your dilemma will not be solved by a decision based upon statutes. It seems the primary issue here is your ability to rationalize your situation and make a decision that will be emotionally, not legally satisfying for you. This would be best addressed by a professional who can help you find your place in life as a strong, self sufficient individual. From there you can survey your situation together and arrive at a meaningful and satisfying resolve.:)

I wish you the best

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