Stopping my ex-husband's new wife who smokes weed everyday from visiting my incarcerated son.

[LUCKYSOONERS]

Oklahoma. Can I stop my ex-husband's new wife from visiting my son who is incarcerated at a boys home? She smokes weed everyday (NOT medicinal). Both of my teenage boys have had a major problem with smoking themselves. I worry that this may influence him. Or is it legal to request she passes a drug test before being allowed to participate in the visits? This could very well be at the discretion of the boys home, but I want to explore my options before going that route.

 

[Zigner]

Does she smoke during the visits?

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

I can only think of one way you could achieve this and don't really think you would be successful. File for a restraining order against her. This will require that you convince a judge that she is in some way a danger to your son and she and your ex will have an opportunity to counter whatever you allege.

Seeing as he is already in a "boys home" I think you may be trying to close the wrong barn door after the horses are already out.

 

[LUCKYSOONERS]

No she does not smoke during visits seeing that it is inside the Boy's Home Center. She has been physical in the past, but there hasn't been any altercations recently. I am just worried about when my son gets out and goes and stays with his father during his week it will be readily available to start back up. Thank you for your input.

 

[PayrollHRGuy]

You are welcome.

 

[LdiJ]

No she does not smoke during visits seeing that it is inside the Boy's Home Center. She has been physical in the past, but there hasn't been any altercations recently. I am just worried about when my son gets out and goes and stays with his father during his week it will be readily available to start back up. Thank you for your input.

Well, stopping her from visiting him isn't going to solve that particular problem. Have you tried discussing your concerns with the boy's father?

 

[LUCKYSOONERS]

Yes LdiJ, I have on several occasions. He brushes it off. I know it won't solve the problem, I just don't want my boys to think this is normal, smoking weed everyday and not working. Truthfully, I'm surprised my ex allows that. We both work everyday and up until last year when we separated that's what our children saw. Weed is the reason my son is incarcerated. Actually, my son is the reason he is incarcerated but he was trying to buy it and was robbed, my son retaliated. I guess all I can do it seems then is pray he's learned his lesson. Thank you.

 

[not2cleverRed]

No she does not smoke during visits seeing that it is inside the Boy's Home Center. She has been physical in the past, but there hasn't been any altercations recently. I am just worried about when my son gets out and goes and stays with his father during his week it will be readily available to start back up. Thank you for your input.

I would think that a condition of his release would be to stay away from such activity, but perhaps such conditions are reserved for adults.

You might bring up your concerns with those in charge of determining whether your son is ready for release. Perhaps you could propose that all the adults involved, yourself included, submit to drug testing, in order to commit to supporting a drug free lifestyle for him. Right now, from what you have posted, it does not sound as though you have proof of stepmom's drug use.