summer visitation question

[luckymom]

My ex gets 6 weeks of summer visitation. I have no problem with that, but he takes it in 3 week intervals. My daughter goes for 3 weeks, comes home for 2, and then goes for another 3. Breaking it up this way doubles the cost (my daughter flies from Illinois to Texas), it creates problems finding daycare for me (I end up having to pay for unused weeks), and my daughter seems to find it hard to move between households like this. As far as I can tell, my ex doesn't have daycare issues, because my daughter is in the care of her teenage stepsister and the stepmom's elderly father (he lives next door).

So my question is whether it is worth attempting to file a modification on this issue or whether it would be just a waste of money.

 

[nextwife]

Why not use summer camp as daycare, instead? One can sign up for individual blocks of sessions or weeks. That's what I do. And I add pre and postcare as needed for extending the day. I
'm using a mix of camp through our HS rec department (DD is 6), and other local programs. That way I don't need to pay for day care all summer-just use programs the weeks I need.

 

[kidoday]

Who is stipulating that she can't stay the full entire 6 weeks? If the cost is an issue, just make the ticket for the entire time.

 

[luckymom]

I am not sure how to answer your question. Ex is allowed by our decree to decide how he wants to take his 6 weeks. I am not sure why he breaks it up like this.

 

[luckymom]

to Nextwife

When I spoke of daycare I meant summer camps since my daughter is going into the 4th grade. Where I live (Chicago), the camps that are conveniently located and affordable don't offer one week sessions--they go both the month, 3 week, or two week sessions. My daughter likes to go to camps that her friends are attending, so that is a consideration as well. Finally, I don't get notice from my ex of when he is taking summer visitation until 4/1 by which time many camps are filled.

 

[stealth2]

Have you discussed this with him?

 

[nextwife]

This site is a good resource. I'm just north of you, in Milwaukee. I actually attended an overnight camp(age 8) for two weeks that was based out of Chicago (but physically in Lake Geneva) as a kid! MY husband was a counselor, while in his teens, at a WI camp that was mostly Chicagoland kids.

http://campdepot.com/CDHOME_Camps.html

Now, while some of my kid's summer is at camp with her friends, some is in other programs, and she makes new friends. She is doing a week of Camp Invention:

http://www.invent.org/camp_invention/2_1_4_1_registration.asp

(That is the link to the IL locations.) The JCC will allow individual weeks to be purchased (but they don't advertise this option). In the past, I also got some individual weeks at the YMCA camp.

The local Audubon Center has some way cool outdoor programs a week at a time.

Many day camps don't have it structured that way in their brochures, but do accomidate situations such as yours upon request.

 

[tigger2two]

if you just really can't afford the two tickets you can go for the modification and it could very well be worth it. i have a friend who has the same visitation schedule as you and she went for modification and the judge made the father pay the additional ticket if he wanted to split up the visitation. He also reguires the father to make the mother aware of when he is using his visitation at the first of january each year.

 

[Inquiry123]

What we have here is a failure to communicate...

If the Visitation Order is the Texas Standard Visitation Order for parents who live over 100 miles apart, your ex can have the child/ren up to 42 days during the summer (consecutive days or of no more than two seperate blocks of not less than 7 days each.)

Communication is the key. You don't know why he breaks up the summer into two periods of visitation. Why not ask? Send him an email/letter explaining your concerns and request if one period of visitation might be an option. Maybe he has a GOOD reason for two periods?? He doesn't need a reason, but I can think of a couple.

Maybe you could compromise? Your concerns were cost, daycare, and transition. After you find out what your ex's reasons are, you might be able find a compromise that would satisfy you both. For example, you might be able to offer to pay for all of the transportation cost for his compromising to use only one visitation period (I assume you pay 1/2 of the transportation.) This would satisfy two of your concerns and maybe even lower your total overall costs.

You could attempt to modify the order, it would cost a little $, but if your ex has ANY reason for two periods (other than making your life more difficult) your chances are slim.

TX and IL? How often does weekend/holiday visitation occur? Who picks-up the tab on that?

 

[luckymom]

to Tigger

Wow! That is interesting. I've explained to the ex about problems finding camps, etc.--his comment was "too bad."

 

[luckymom]

to Inquiry

I've explained my problems with camps, as well as my concern about transition and asked ex why he insists on dividing it up. He told me that he didn't have to make my life easier and that I make plenty of money so I should just pay up.

So much for communication . . .

As for how often she visits, once a month, as well as the usual (spring break, half of winter breaks, etc.).

 

[tigger2two]

maybe this will help

ask him again why he does this. but do it in a way that his response can be used against him. by this i mean send him an email and have him respond to you through that. this way you have him on paper telling you these things. and when you go to modify whatever reason he throws at the judge for doing this your atorney can throw the real one right back at him.

 

[Gonwin]

Great idea Tigger...

Proof is a great idea. I would want proof to show the judge, if your ex is only doing that to make life harder (and more expensive for you). I hope you get this straightened out. Take care.