Supervised visitation in MO

[Hopeful2006]

What is the name of your state? MO

I have a 9 month old son whose father is currently threatening to take me to court for joint custody if I don't agree to find an apartment with him and move in by December. We were never married and his name doesn't appear on the birth certificate, though a DNA test proved he was the father and child support has been ordered. While no order for visitation has been set, I still allow him to see him when our conflicting schedules allows. Which is usually for about an hour every other week, in addition to a few 3-4 hour visits during the summer. If he goes to court to get visitation, is there anyway for me to get it supervised? I got an ex parte against him 10/25/06 which was dropped during court because the judge wasn't sure if it was legal or ethical to place a restraining order against a minor. The abuse was witnessed by everyone from friends to police during the end of my pregnancy and after it. Is there anyway to use that to make a judge consider supervised visitation? He's currently been without a job for the last 6 months and would have to rely on savings to take care of our son if he got any form of custody. Would a judge take this into consideration when deciding how much time to give him with him? What do you have to be able to prove in order for supervised visitation to be granted in Missouri?What is the name of your state?

 

[seniorjudge]

You started this action against him and now you do not like what may happen, right?

But you didn't give us any facts to show that his visitation with the child would harm the child.

Do you have such facts?

 

[moburkes]

FYI: While he may have harmed YOU, that doesn't mean that he will harm a child. Unless you provide additional details that suggest otherwise, your request for supervised visitations will not be granted.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? MO

I have a 9 month old son whose father is currently threatening to take me to court for joint custody if I don't agree to find an apartment with him and move in by December. We were never married and his name doesn't appear on the birth certificate, though a DNA test proved he was the father and child support has been ordered. While no order for visitation has been set, I still allow him to see him when our conflicting schedules allows. Which is usually for about an hour every other week, in addition to a few 3-4 hour visits during the summer. If he goes to court to get visitation, is there anyway for me to get it supervised? I got an ex parte against him 10/25/06 which was dropped during court because the judge wasn't sure if it was legal or ethical to place a restraining order against a minor. The abuse was witnessed by everyone from friends to police during the end of my pregnancy and after it. Is there anyway to use that to make a judge consider supervised visitation? He's currently been without a job for the last 6 months and would have to rely on savings to take care of our son if he got any form of custody. Would a judge take this into consideration when deciding how much time to give him with him? What do you have to be able to prove in order for supervised visitation to be granted in Missouri?What is the name of your state?

Well...I certainly wouldn't allow myself to be blackmailed into moving in with someone, if that wasn't what I wanted....and particularly if that person had been abusive to me.

However, you need to accept the fact that sooner or later he is going to be given parental rights in court, which will likely include joint legal custody (joint decision making) and a parenting schedule. You might be able to get it started out as supervised, but it will not take long before a judge would give him unsupervised visitation, unless you can prove that he is a danger TO THE CHILD.

 

[CJane]

However, you need to accept the fact that sooner or later he is going to be given parental rights in court, which will likely include joint legal custody (joint decision making) and a parenting schedule. You might be able to get it started out as supervised, but it will not take long before a judge would give him unsupervised visitation, unless you can prove that he is a danger TO THE CHILD.

OP ~ What county are you in in MO?

It's HIGHLY unlikely given the fact that the father has a relationship with the child (albeit an inconsistent one) that supervised visits will be ordered. Dad may AGREE to them, but the judge isn't going to order them.

MO also does not automatically order a graduated schedule for infants - you will need to submit a parenting plan and see if the judge agrees to the stipulations you include. There is NO boilerplate for parental access in MO.

Go here: http://extension.missouri.edu/xplor/hesguide/humanrel/gh6130.htm
to get an idea of what is required and to familiarize yourself w/the terms/language.

Then find my post to car_guy re: best interests of the child. That's what MO uses to determine custody. One of those 'best interests' factors is 'continuing, frequent and meaningful contact' with the other parent. You need to keep that in mind ALL OF THE TIME. The courts aren't going to care about his 'issues' or that you don't like his friends or that he sometimes gets drunk or that he smokes, or that he pushed you around now and then. They're just not, and it's best that you shove all of that to the back of your mind and not even bring it up in court.

It's different if there is no existing relationship (as is the case with my son's father) but in your case, there IS a relationship and it will be honored and protected.

 

[Hopeful2006]

But you didn't give us any facts to show that his visitation with the child would harm the child.

Do you have such facts?

He has no means of supporting a child. No job, no necessary items for raising a child, essentially no place to take him because where he's living now he won't be able to take my son. As for actually harming him, DFS has already been called in once because there was concern that I would go back to him and put my child in danger. They didn't see the need to investigate because he'd only seen the child twice in the three months.
The limited time I give him for visitation now is to try to limit any chance he would have at hurting him. Although he's still managed to upset him by literally ripping him from my arms or by hitting his head on the carseat/car door/steering wheel/etc. I can almost understand it happening once, everyone makes mistakes, but the fact that something like that happens everytime he sees him is unbelievable to me that it could be an accident.

 

[seniorjudge]

Obviously no one wants to see a kid hurt.

So make sure the court knows FACTS that show this guy is a danger to the kid.

 

[Hopeful2006]

However, you need to accept the fact that sooner or later he is going to be given parental rights in court, which will likely include joint legal custody (joint decision making) and a parenting schedule. You might be able to get it started out as supervised, but it will not take long before a judge would give him unsupervised visitation, unless you can prove that he is a danger TO THE CHILD.

I knew there was no way to avoid him getting some form of custody, that's why I was hoping to get supervised visitation. He's been advised by multiple people to go to counseling for his anger based off of his actions against me and various other people over the last year, so far he's refused. My concern stems from him being so uncaring about the child's safety while I was still pregnant and even now he doesn't seem concerned about whether or not his actions harm our son.

 

[CJane]

He has no means of supporting a child. No job, no necessary items for raising a child,

This is irrelevant. As the CP, you will be expected to provide clothing/diapers/formula/etc and a child can sleep in the bed with the parent or on a pallet on the floor. A bedroom/crib is not considered necessary.

essentially no place to take him because where he's living now he won't be able to take my son.

Why?

As for actually harming him, DFS has already been called in once because there was concern that I would go back to him and put my child in danger.

It's called DSS in MO.

The limited time I give him for visitation now is to try to limit any chance he would have at hurting him.

I understand that. And if you REALLY think he's a danger to the child, pony up the money and ask that a GAL be appointed. They're appointed in ALL cases in MO where abuse/neglect is alleged. They're expensive, but if there is any reason to fear for your child's safety, a GAL will discover it and present their findings/recommendations to the court.

Although he's still managed to upset him by literally ripping him from my arms or by hitting his head on the carseat/car door/steering wheel/etc. I can almost understand it happening once, everyone makes mistakes, but the fact that something like that happens everytime he sees him is unbelievable to me that it could be an accident.

I dunno. My son is 21 months and weighs 35lbs. I bump his head frequently when putting him in/taking him out of cars. If he's not actually INJURED but only UPSET he's not being abused.

Also... what county are you in?

 

[moburkes]

CJane is right.


(My daughter is 20 months and weighs 18 lbs. My other daughter is 3 1/2 and weighs 28 lbs.)

 

[CJane]

CJane is right.


(My daughter is 20 months and weighs 18 lbs. My other daughter is 3 1/2 and weighs 28 lbs.)

OMG, really?

Twain is 36" tall and 35lbs. He's actually not quite 21 months yet. My 10 year old is 4'10" and 90 lbs.

I have huge children, I suppose.

 

[Silverplum]

I have huge children, I suppose.

It's the Missouri air.

 

[moburkes]

I think the baby is 33.5 inches. When I graduated high school I was 5' and weighed about 95.

 

[CJane]

It's the Missouri air.

Well, at least you didn't call 'em corn fed.

Of course, I'm built like a brick sh*thouse... 5'6" and a very comfortable size 12, but weigh about 175.

 

[Silverplum]

Well, at least you didn't call 'em corn fed.

I'm pretty sure you feed 'em more than corn.

Of course, I'm built like a brick sh*thouse... 5'6" and a very comfortable size 12, but weigh about 175.

Goddess!!!