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Supervised visitation--no show!

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leanney

Junior Member
Drug addicted dad-visitation

What is the name of your state? GA
My ex-husband has supervised visitation with our 2 children who are 8 and 10. They go to the ex's parents for visitation every other weekend. I took him to court because he has a drug problem. He has not worked a steady job for 5 years, he's over $6,000 behind in child support (his mom paid for a while) and he has been in 3 serious wrecks where he was air lifted twice. I turned him over to child support recovery but he want get a job because he knows they will garnish his wages. I know I have to let them go if he pays child suporrt or not. And I do. This weekend and other weekends they have went and he has not shown up. He called them Friday night and told them he was on the way--he never came. He has lost his license due to not paying his child support. He is driving illegally anyway. They worried about him all weekend, he never called. The kids asked if we could go by his house and see if he was at home--he was. He said that he just did not like going to his parents and that he was depressed about not having license so he decided not to come. He is telling me that he is going to take me back to court to terminate the supervised visitations. Can he do this without proving that he is not doing drugs? He is the most irresponsible 40 year old man that walks. He can't take care of himself--I hate the thoughts of him having my children by himself. What do I need to do to make sure he can't have unsupervised visitation? This is just a small bit of what has taken place the last 4 years--anything from stealing to being in jail for shoplifting and bench warrants.
Also, about a month ago during the kids visitaiton, he took my 8 year old daughter on the 4-wheeler with him and let my son-10, ride his motorcyle about 2 miles on the road to the lake. While he was there, my daughter started playing with this little girl--she had never met this little girl and their dad did not know the parents. He let my daughter go home with them. They lived about 1 mile away. I pitched a fit of course and he said that it was nothing, that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I don't think letting my daughter go home with complete strangers is nothing. I was told that I can not keep them from seeing there dad due to money but if I feel they are in danger, I can. Is this true? Will I have to go through the courts to do so? I really try to get along with his parents and I know they love the kids but they are enablers and they just let him do whatever. Please help!!
 
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grandma2004

Junior Member
drug addicted dad-visitaion

I'm just a (young) grandma whose daughter is currently going through a divorce and some of the child visitation issues. I just wanted to offer you my support. My son-in-law (soon to be ex) has had drug problems in the past, drinks every weekend, shows up to supervised visits hungover, etc. The visits are supervised because of attempted suicide, mental instability, mental and physical cruelty to my daughter, etc. He wants his mom's friend to supervise visits, but his environment he lives in now is enabling. His mom covers up and ignores his problems, his very small town also covers up and ignores his problems. We don't want my grandson going into this environment because no one will protect his safety. So far we've been able to block it, but eventually he'll get unsupervised visits, and that is scary. Know that our hopes are with you.

Grandma
 
B

betterthanher

Guest
leanney said:
What is the name of your state? GA
My ex-husband has supervised visitation with our 2 children who are 8 and 10. They go to the ex's parents for visitation every other weekend. I took him to court because he has a drug problem. He has not worked a steady job for 5 years, he's over $6,000 behind in child support (his mom paid for a while) and he has been in 3 serious wrecks where he was air lifted twice. I turned him over to child support recovery but he want get a job because he knows they will garnish his wages. I know I have to let them go if he pays child suporrt or not. And I do. This weekend and other weekends they have went and he has not shown up. He called them Friday night and told them he was on the way--he never came. He has lost his license due to not paying his child support. He is driving illegally anyway. They worried about him all weekend, he never called. The kids asked if we could go by his house and see if he was at home--he was. He said that he just did not like going to his parents and that he was depressed about not having license so he decided not to come. He is telling me that he is going to take me back to court to terminate the supervised visitations. Can he do this without proving that he is not doing drugs? He is the most irresponsible 40 year old man that walks. He can't take care of himself--I hate the thoughts of him having my children by himself. What do I need to do to make sure he can't have unsupervised visitation? This is just a small bit of what has taken place the last 4 years--anything from stealing to being in jail for shoplifting and bench warrants.
To get unsupervised, he would have to prove his case to the court. Did they require him to any counseling, etc. as a way to monitor progress? But since his license is suspended, he wouldn't be able to legally drive to get them or take them anywhere. That's not going to help his cause at all. Plus, if he hasn't been clean (both criminally and drug-wise), that's just more against him.

If he doesn't want to visit, that is his choice. He's under no legal obligation to visit. Does your order specify anything about giving notice? If he's been making a habit of this (for awhile, not just a few weeks), you could always modify to include language to give notice and reimbursement of poss. child care costs, loss of wages you might incur when he cancels last minute.

Also, about a month ago during the kids visitaiton, he took my 8 year old daughter on the 4-wheeler with him and let my son-10, ride his motorcyle about 2 miles on the road to the lake. While he was there, my daughter started playing with this little girl--she had never met this little girl and their dad did not know the parents. He let my daughter go home with them. They lived about 1 mile away. I pitched a fit of course and he said that it was nothing, that I was making a big deal out of nothing. I don't think letting my daughter go home with complete strangers is nothing. I was told that I can not keep them from seeing there dad due to money but if I feel they are in danger, I can. Is this true? Will I have to go through the courts to do so? I really try to get along with his parents and I know they love the kids but they are enablers and they just let him do whatever. Please help!!
You have to prove they are in danger and they are not in danger. The dad did not know the parents, but is it likely his parents knew them? You have nothing here.
 

leanney

Junior Member
Grandma,
I know what you are going through. It is very difficult thinking about the children you try to protect from all of that junk is going to be exposed to it from their own father. I am terrified at what could happen to my children if left alone with him. I wish I could post everything that he has done in the past few years -- it would blow you away! You probably have been through some of the same things, so I'm sure you know all about it. I hope the best for you as well.
 

leanney

Junior Member
To bettherthanher

The judge ordered 12 months of drug and alcohol counseling in which he has not done. There is not anything that states he has to give me notice that he is not coming to visit. He told the kids he was coming and he disappointed them again! My point--if he had the kids, would he just leave them to go party and leave them alone? My son had to go to the school counselor today because he had been so upset about it this weekend that his teacher could tell something was troubling him. I want my kids to be a part of his life--when he is clean--they are the ones who are being hurt through all of this. He is not capable of taking care of them. He does not think clearly.
And they were in danger when they went on the road out of the sight of their grandparents. He is a danger because he is under the influence of drugs. Does supervised visitation not mean that the kids must be in the sight of the grandparents at all times? And no, the grandparents did not know the people who he left my daughter with. They were very upset and got into a huge fuss with their dad. Ofcourse, they did not tell me about it--the kids did. You don't leave an 8 year old little girl with complete strangers you met at the lake. Not in this day and time.
 

grandma2004

Junior Member
Leanney,

When I was appointed by the court to supervise visits between my soninlaw and grandson, the court was very clear that I must be present and aware of anything going on at all times. I took this very seriously and didn't allow them out of my sight.

If your ex hasn't gone through the court ordered counseling, he probably won't get unsupervised visits. But I'm not an attorney, just thinking logically.
 

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