Support For A Delinquent 18 Year Old?

[plshrk1]

What is the name of your state? NY

I am disgusted with my 18 year old boy who has been failing school for years, finally got him to do JR. Basic Training for the Army this summer. He came home the same boy, failing school, stole my license plates to put on his car that was not his to take yet, it was to sit till graduation this year. He had no license no ins. no registration, no inspection and stole my plates for his car. His car was standard, he cant drive standard. Took off for 2 days without me knowing it. I was in the hospital having surgery. He has broken into hte house after leaving on his own accord. Got a part time job and was skipping school classes. Didnt want to do what he was supposed to. I hav tried everything. After breaking into the basement twice, losing his house key about 12 times in the past couple years, telling me that he was going to live with his friend and work at a restaurant, which he did, then when the friend kicked him out for good, he tried coming home, we had to call the police then ihght he took the plates, he almost hit the cop, now I talked him into going to his dads, he would not be able to live home any longer. He was drinking and smoking and stealing at my house. We just couldnt get him to listen or stay in school. I talked his dad out of making him work a full time job, he did let him go to school where he moved - 45 minutes away from me. Now his dad didnt waste any time in asking for support thru the court maximum too. All those years up until Oct 2003 I got 25 or 50 a week and sometimes nothing for support directly thru the father, now this. His father lost his job from drug abuse after working for the Highway dept as head mechanic for 24 yyears, there go the pension and he spent his 401 k for bills. Now do I have a case for emancipation in NY State?? Or should I just be happy to pay 354.00 a month support until he turns 21 - he is 18 now. Should I try to emancipate him?

 

[djohnson]

First I don't think he fits the bill to be emancipated. He is already 18 and obviously can't take care of himself. Why are you paying support thru 21 if he isn't in school? Why not just til he graduates high school or drops out? You wouldn't have that much to go. I say he's made his bed let him lie in come June.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

First I don't think he fits the bill to be emancipated. He is already 18 and obviously can't take care of himself. Why are you paying support thru 21 if he isn't in school? Why not just til he graduates high school or drops out? You wouldn't have that much to go. I say he's made his bed let him lie in come June.

New York requires support through the age of 21

 

[djohnson]

ahh

teach me to ask a dumb question. sorry bout that

 

[plshrk1]

emancipation

First I don't think he fits the bill to be emancipated. He is already 18 and obviously can't take care of himself. Why are you paying support thru 21 if he isn't in school? Why not just til he graduates high school or drops out? You wouldn't have that much to go. I say he's made his bed let him lie in come June.

Unfortunately I think because he is living with his dad and I talked his dad into making him go back to school I will be paying until he moves out of there. Now his dad is furious because he sees my bills and I have tried to get him to settle on 50 a week until end of June when my son should graduate, but he says that I have a newer car - etc...What he doesnt realize is that I have been taking care of his two boys with 25 - 50 a week for years and now he wants the max because I took him to court a year ago, because he lost his job of 24 years because of drugs. He worked for the goverment, and looks indigent on his paperwork now. He has had 3 hobs since he got fired from the 24 year job and his wife is a drunk that has failed rehab twice and he had her put in jail for 9 months for violation of parole, now he is allowing her to be drunk every night. They have two small children there and thats why he is wanting the max of child support from me, when I bring this up about not getting more than 25 -50 a week and sometimes nothing he says the past is in the past. He is an idiot, but it's my fault that I had married him when I was young and really stupid. I am 40 now and still paying a price other than money. How do I go about getting out of debt and paying all this money at the same time? Does anyone know of a debt relief company that deals with credit relief in NY state? Thanks! Sorry for the long story. After my son had me ready for a nervous breakdown, my dr tried putting me on Zoloft. I was on that for 3 months, when my son left - I didnt need it!

 

[VeronicaGia]

What you don't understand is this: If he was court ordered to pay you $25 or $50 a week and he paid it, he has satisfied his court ordered obligation. If he was not under a court order to pay you, he didn't have to pay you anything. Now he has a court order for you to pay him, and you must abide by that order. It doesn't matter how much he was or wasn't ordered to pay you, it has to do with income. Your income is obviously higher than his.

So when he says "what is past is past," he's correct.

 

[plshrk1]

regarding

FOr years I had been verly low income, raising both of my "forgotten about boys"....He just was recently fired for DRUGs do you understand me? This has gone on for the past 22 years since my oldest was born,
he would not give the drugs up. He has ruined his future and now he wants me to pay - he should not have my son. My son would be better off on his own than with a druggie and a drunk, in that environment. I understand what you are saying, that it goes by income, his income was 3,000 more than mine last year and they do not care who makes more only the one that is going to pay and what that person makes.They dont care about your bills, you can go bankrupt and live in a box along side the road while he sleeps on the couch stoned and the wife is drunk with no teeth in her head.
I am a working person since I was 11 years old, Sorry but I dont believe that they look past it all and still make you pay that much. He had threatened me for years when he sold drugs telling me that if I try to divorce him he would make sure that I lose my boys, then he has the nerve to tell me he would have his friends that bought the drugs testify that I WAS the one selling the drugs and I would lose either way, you tell me ?? not a good environment, the guy should not have had 5 kids with 3 women and he did not have a court order to pay me because he threatened that he would get the boys back if I tried to take him to court then I would pay he said! I have to pay, no choice. All I can hope is that when June comes, he graduates and leaves his house. My heart breaks for the kid, but he has make his own bed too...Torn for sure but can you just "come up with 354.00 a month if you make 12.12 an hr??