Support modification

[FinallyFree]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was married just over 10 years. We used a mediator to complete our divorce and the end result is spousal support with no specific end date, something he continues threatening to drag me into court to change.

Is it an easy process for him to get our current agreement modified so that there is a definite end date in site? How readily do judges cut-off or reduce spousal support payments?

He has a roommate living in his house with him, renting one of the bedrooms. Should this rent be factored in to his income for calculation of support, or is that money excluded?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was married just over 10 years. We used a mediator to complete our divorce and the end result is spousal support with no specific end date, something he continues threatening to drag me into court to change.

Is it an easy process for him to get our current agreement modified so that there is a definite end date in site? How readily do judges cut-off or reduce spousal support payments?

He has a roommate living in his house with him, renting one of the bedrooms. Should this rent be factored in to his income for calculation of support, or is that money excluded?

It would be relatively easy for him to petition the court to modify the current order.

What any particular judge will or will not do is impossible to guess.

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? California

I was married just over 10 years. We used a mediator to complete our divorce and the end result is spousal support with no specific end date, something he continues threatening to drag me into court to change.

Is it an easy process for him to get our current agreement modified so that there is a definite end date in site? How readily do judges cut-off or reduce spousal support payments?

He has a roommate living in his house with him, renting one of the bedrooms. Should this rent be factored in to his income for calculation of support, or is that money excluded?

Is there a reason that you can't support yourself?

 

[FinallyFree]

Is there a reason that you can't support yourself?

Well, I am supporting myself but the disparity in our incomes is huge and without his support I would really struggle. He makes somewhere around 3x what I make. His real reason for wanting a reduction is that he's bitter, not that he's struggling. On outward appearance it sure doesn't look like he's hurting, with new cars and every toy imaginable. His wife works as well, plus he has a roommate. I'm not doing anything different than I was when we completed our divorce papers in mediation.. I just collect the agreed upon amount yet that last year have been constantly harassed by him about the support he pays me. He's trying to intimidate me be threatening to use his 'free' attorneys (through a legal plan at work) to take me back to court, he admitted to not working certain overtime so he can "keep his numbers low" for court, he is just angry - that's the real reason. I can't really afford an attorney but I know I will end up needing to get one to protect myself against him - he is vindictive and hateful.

 

[nextwife]

Well, I am supporting myself but the disparity in our incomes is huge and without his support I would really struggle. He makes somewhere around 3x what I make. His real reason for wanting a reduction is that he's bitter, not that he's struggling. On outward appearance it sure doesn't look like he's hurting, with new cars and every toy imaginable. His wife works as well, plus he has a roommate. I'm not doing anything different than I was when we completed our divorce papers in mediation.. I just collect the agreed upon amount yet that last year have been constantly harassed by him about the support he pays me. He's trying to intimidate me be threatening to use his 'free' attorneys (through a legal plan at work) to take me back to court, he admitted to not working certain overtime so he can "keep his numbers low" for court, he is just angry - that's the real reason. I can't really afford an attorney but I know I will end up needing to get one to protect myself against him - he is vindictive and hateful.

Ten years is really a small number of years. Are you planning on taking action to make yourself a higher earner while receiving the benefit of support?
Surely you can't think that a mere 10 out of a potential 60 adult years should make him forever responsible for your support?

 

[Just Blue]

Well, I am supporting myself but the disparity in our incomes is huge and without his support I would really struggle. He makes somewhere around 3x what I make. His real reason for wanting a reduction is that he's bitter, not that he's struggling. On outward appearance it sure doesn't look like he's hurting, with new cars and every toy imaginable. His wife works as well, plus he has a roommate. I'm not doing anything different than I was when we completed our divorce papers in mediation.. I just collect the agreed upon amount yet that last year have been constantly harassed by him about the support he pays me. He's trying to intimidate me be threatening to use his 'free' attorneys (through a legal plan at work) to take me back to court, he admitted to not working certain overtime so he can "keep his numbers low" for court, he is just angry - that's the real reason. I can't really afford an attorney but I know I will end up needing to get one to protect myself against him - he is vindictive and hateful.

So...How long do you think he should supplement your income?

 

[Proserpina]

Perhaps more to the point, what is OP going to do if something happens to the ex?

 

[LdiJ]

Well, I am supporting myself but the disparity in our incomes is huge and without his support I would really struggle. He makes somewhere around 3x what I make. His real reason for wanting a reduction is that he's bitter, not that he's struggling. On outward appearance it sure doesn't look like he's hurting, with new cars and every toy imaginable. His wife works as well, plus he has a roommate. I'm not doing anything different than I was when we completed our divorce papers in mediation.. I just collect the agreed upon amount yet that last year have been constantly harassed by him about the support he pays me. He's trying to intimidate me be threatening to use his 'free' attorneys (through a legal plan at work) to take me back to court, he admitted to not working certain overtime so he can "keep his numbers low" for court, he is just angry - that's the real reason. I can't really afford an attorney but I know I will end up needing to get one to protect myself against him - he is vindictive and hateful.

Realistically, expecting him to support you indefinitely, when you were married only 10 years, is a bit unfair.

You should/should have been using the period of support to get continuing education to allow you to support yourself without his help.

You cannot count on his help forever. If he were to be hit by a bus tommorrow you would be SOL.

 

[FinallyFree]

I don't expect him to support me forever. Where are you guys getting that?
Our divorce has only been final for a year now and already his is trying to amend and push for an end... I just think that's a little rushed. I am still trying to get on my feet, get established in a job that took me a full year to finally get into, that now has threats of lay-offs.. I am going to take some classes to further my education, and maybe someday in the not too distant future buy a house of my own, since he was able to keep the family home. Isn't that what spousal support is for, to help the lower earner get re-established and maintain the same lifestyle she had in the family home? I don't have anything even near that, yet somehow I get the impression you guys think I am raking him over the coals or something, or mooching off him. Mind you, the amount I get right now is the amount we agreed upon in mediation. He is now re-married and she brings something to the table with her income, so him crying broke is all an act.

Let's not forget about that roommate he receives rent from. I still have yet to get a response about that. I don't really care that he receives some extra money, I just want to know if it should be included in the calculation of support because I want to know if he's avoided including it. I want to know what I am up against when we go to court.

 

[Proserpina]

I don't expect him to support me forever. Where are you guys getting that?
Our divorce has only been final for a year now and already his is trying to amend and push for an end... I just think that's a little rushed. I am still trying to get on my feet, get established in a job that took me a full year to finally get into, that now has threats of lay-offs.. I am going to take some classes to further my education, and maybe someday in the not too distant future buy a house of my own, since he was able to keep the family home. Isn't that what spousal support is for, to help the lower earner get re-established and maintain the same lifestyle she had in the family home? I don't have anything even near that, yet somehow I get the impression you guys think I am raking him over the coals or something, or mooching off him. Mind you, the amount I get right now is the amount we agreed upon in mediation. He is now re-married and she brings something to the table with her income, so him crying broke is all an act.

Let's not forget about that roommate he receives rent from. I still have yet to get a response about that. I don't really care that he receives some extra money, I just want to know if it should be included in the calculation of support because I want to know if he's avoided including it. I want to know what I am up against when we go to court.

That rental income could very well belong to your ex's new wife.

In which case it's irrelevant to your matter.

 

[nextwife]

Let's not forget about that roommate he receives rent from. I still have yet to get a response about that. I don't really care that he receives some extra money, I just want to know if it should be included in the calculation of support because I want to know if he's avoided including it. I want to know what I am up against when we go to court.

I can think of a way you could benefit from roommate income . . .

 

[FinallyFree]

That rental income could very well belong to your ex's new wife.

In which case it's irrelevant to your matter.

Not sure what you mean by this. It was his house before she moved in, and it's his friend that lives there.

 

[FinallyFree]

I can think of a way you could benefit from roommate income . . .

Care to elaborate? You mean indirectly from his roommate or from getting one myself?

 

[candg918]

I don't expect him to support me forever. Where are you guys getting that?
Our divorce has only been final for a year now and already his is trying to amend and push for an end... I just think that's a little rushed. I am still trying to get on my feet, get established in a job that took me a full year to finally get into, that now has threats of lay-offs.. I am going to take some classes to further my education, and maybe someday in the not too distant future buy a house of my own, since he was able to keep the family home. Isn't that what spousal support is for, to help the lower earner get re-established and maintain the same lifestyle she had in the family home? I don't have anything even near that, yet somehow I get the impression you guys think I am raking him over the coals or something, or mooching off him. Mind you, the amount I get right now is the amount we agreed upon in mediation. He is now re-married and she brings something to the table with her income, so him crying broke is all an act.

Let's not forget about that roommate he receives rent from. I still have yet to get a response about that. I don't really care that he receives some extra money, I just want to know if it should be included in the calculation of support because I want to know if he's avoided including it. I want to know what I am up against when we go to court.

The bolded indicates you have unrealistic expectations of what you should receive. That cannot happen when there are two households to support on the same total income.

 

[IrishLady47]

The rent may or may not count as his income. Is there a written lease or just a verbal agreement between friends. His new wife's income is irrelevant.

Honestly, I would negotiate an lump sum payment & be done with it. You said you are able to support yourself & you could use the lump sum for school or a house.

Unless you like the drama.