Support.....What is fair?

[NneedofHelp]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I decided after a fourteen months of pure hell of a marriage to file for divorce. I moved out of the appartment that my wife and I sharred and moved in with my parents. The apartment and all utilities are soley in my name, in fact nothing is or has ever been in my wifes name. My wife is still in the apartment and I am paying all of the bills. I make a modest $40,000 a years which is about $2,700.00 a month bring home after taxes. My wife does not work and has not worked the entire time we have been married. I pay $1,200.00 a month for rent and utilities, I also cover my wifes cell phone bill which is also in my name. I have agreed to allow my wife to live in the apartment and I will continue to cover the bills until our divorce is final. I am trying to determine what is fair in terms of support until the divorce is final. I gave my wife $500.00 a week and a half ago on pay day and she has already found a way to spend it all. She is wanting more money but I do not feel I should give her any more. After all she doesn't have a car and has no bills what so ever to pay. Five hundred dollors should last more than a week and a half. What is fair in terms of support. I really need your advice.


Thank You

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I decided after a fourteen months of pure hell of a marriage to file for divorce. I moved out of the appartment that my wife and I sharred and moved in with my parents. The apartment and all utilities are soley in my name, in fact nothing is or has ever been in my wifes name. My wife is still in the apartment and I am paying all of the bills. I make a modest $40,000 a years which is about $2,700.00 a month bring home after taxes. My wife does not work and has not worked the entire time we have been married. I pay $1,200.00 a month for rent and utilities, I also cover my wifes cell phone bill which is also in my name. I have agreed to allow my wife to live in the apartment and I will continue to cover the bills until our divorce is final. I am trying to determine what is fair in terms of support until the divorce is final. I gave my wife $500.00 a week and a half ago on pay day and she has already found a way to spend it all. She is wanting more money but I do not feel I should give her any more. After all she doesn't have a car and has no bills what so ever to pay. Five hundred dollors should last more than a week and a half. What is fair in terms of support. I really need your advice.


Thank You

Let's say you gave her that $500 once a month. Take the apartment out since you're sharing it and you have $1500 per month left. She's getting about 40% of it (assuming $100 for the cell phone bill). Given that it's a short term marriage, you're probably not going to be paying much, if any, spousal support after the divorce, so it might be to your advantage to be a bit more generous now in order to keep things calm until the divorce is final. In my case, my ex got about 65% of my take home during the divorce preparations, plus her own decent salary and I was glad to be rid of her.

That said, I would ask your attorney what is reasonable.

 

[NneedofHelp]

There are a few things I left out. 1st, I am not sharing the apartment with my wife, she is living there by her self, I am staying at my parents. 2nt, I am driving 80 miles round trip every day to get to and from work. The bills I mentioned are not the only bills we have, just the ones where my wife is concerned. I have care insurance, student loans, and health insurance that I pay as well not to mention my own cell phone. My wife is not entitled to any support after the divorce is final, I am talking about just the time until our divorce is final.

 

[LdiJ]

There are a few things I left out. 1st, I am not sharing the apartment with my wife, she is living there by her self, I am staying at my parents. 2nt, I am driving 80 miles round trip every day to get to and from work. The bills I mentioned are not the only bills we have, just the ones where my wife is concerned. I have care insurance, student loans, and health insurance that I pay as well not to mention my own cell phone. My wife is not entitled to any support after the divorce is final, I am talking about just the time until our divorce is final.

You need to protect your credit, therefore paying any bills that would negatively impact your credit if they go unpaid, are wise for you to pay. Other than that, you really don't owe her anything.

If she is able bodied and capable of working, then you really shouldn't cover anything more than what you need to cover to protect your credit. That would be rent until the lease expires and probably the utilities....and perhaps also the cell phone if there is a contract. You certainly don't have to give her any cash on top of paying the bills.

Again however, this is assuming that she is able bodied. If she is not, then it gets a tad more complicated.

 

[mistoffolees]

There are a few things I left out. 1st, I am not sharing the apartment with my wife, she is living there by her self, I am staying at my parents. 2nt, I am driving 80 miles round trip every day to get to and from work. The bills I mentioned are not the only bills we have, just the ones where my wife is concerned.

In that case, if you're paying $1200 in living expenses for her and another $500 per month (assuming you don't give in and give her any more before the month is up), she's getting $1700 out of your $2700 take home. That certainly passes the smell test, but that's just an opinion and I don't know how her disability affects that.

LdiJ is right - you have to protect your credit, but you also have to make sure that you're not going to get hammered by a judge for 'abandoning this poor, helpless disabled person'. so you need to discuss it with your attorney.

 

[NneedofHelp]

Thank you...there isn't any abandoning going on here, i go by every day to make sure she has food. She is able bodied to work, but she has a drug addiction so she beleives that she isn't able to work. This addiction and her refusial to work are on the very top of a long list of why I filled for divorce. My attorney told me since the apartment is in my name and I am the only one of us that has worked and payed the rent that after the divorce is final I should get the apartment.

 

[garrula lingua]

You don't have to give her any money.

If you feel beholden, give her enough money for food and busfare to look for a job.
Keep track of monies you have given her after the separation date - you can claim the amount in community property distribution, if any.
You will probably assume all the debts - try to apply their value against the com prop, as she does not appear to have the ability to pay.

Stay away from her. Only contact her with another (honest) person present.

There is NO spousal support for marriages less than 10 years in Texas, UNLESS the person requesting was a victim of domestic violence by the spouse.

File immediately. Have the sheriff serve her (the clerk will arrange service). You do want her at the apt in order to have her served properly.

Contact the landlord about any unfulfilled lease term you have on the apt & see how much they want to break the lease.
Break it after she's served (contact someone in her family before you pack up the apt (& after she's served) and make arrangements for her relatives to take her).

Always keep a witness with you when you are around her or the apt.

(Even after 10 yrs of marriage, spousal support in Tx is rare and is capped at three years ... beer for my horses, squat for my wife)

 

[SingleAZdad]

If you haven't filed for divorce, file immediately. Get an attorney and get the wheels moving. 1yr marriage means you owe her nothing in alimony. Don't entertain anything she says - you will NOT pay any alimony.

You really only need to support her in the interim to protect your credit and to position yourself well for court. Don't pay for extras like a cell phone if there is a house phone. Only pay for basic cable, basic phone service, ... If she wants luxuries, then get a job and work like the rest of us.

I would also put in a call to the leasing office and see what the contractual requirements are for breaking your lease. You'll probably lose some money, but you don't want to be legally liable for activity occurring in a residence where you are not present. It might not seem like much, but what if your STBX accidentally starts a fire and burns the whole place down. The apartment is in your name. Who do you think people will sue (aside from the insurance companies)?

If her car is registered in your name, you are also liable if there is a nasty accident. If there are any joint credit cards, you need to call the creditors and have her removed from the account and the mailing address changed. The list goes on, but start thinking about it.

If there are no kids, the divorce should proceed relatively quickly.

 

[garrula lingua]

In Tx, file the Petition for divorce, pay the filing fee & include any locally required info/docs.
Filll out the clerk's form regarding service of STBX.

Sixty-one days after she was served, you appear in court with several copies of the judgment (you set the hearing date in most jurisdictions) and just testify as to the facts within the Petition (living in Tx 6 months & in the county 3 mo, date of marriage, date of separation, service on defendant, no kids, prop split, etc).

Judge (or clerk) will sign the Judgment and you are divorced.

You can't get married again for about 31 days

 

[NneedofHelp]

Thanks everyone....


I never had her on the bank accounts due to her addiction and never allowed any credit cards. Thankfully we were not in a position to be able to buy her a car so no worries there. The only property she has are her clothes, personal items and a few nick nacks around the apartment. All the furnishings and all I owned prier to us getting married. I even payed off my car prier to us ever getting married. I have retained an attorney and he plans to have the paperwork completed and file by Wednesday next week. I just feel bad because she is all alone in the apartment with no car and can't do for herself. Although I can't be married to her anymore I do still love and care for her very much.

One quick question....since I filed she has it in her head that there is another woman. I swear that not only is there not another woman nor has there ever been another woman but I hasv't even talked to another woman in any form or fashion. She claims that she is going to accuse me of being unfaithful in court. How can you defend yourself against something that you are not nor ever have done?

 

[garrula lingua]

She has to present evidence; you rebut.

If she has nothing to present, there is no problem (besides, even if there is adultery, the only consequence is that the Judge does not have to split the community property evenly ... per your statement, there is no cp; it is all separate property.)

Are you sure you want a divorce ??

'Pure hell' and 'I feel bad because she is all alone' are a bit contradictory.

Are you sure you want a divorce ??

 

[NneedofHelp]

Yes I am very sure Iwant a divorce!!!! That doesn't mean that I am a cold heartless and without a soul. I stillcare for her,I amnot the kind of person who can just turn of my feelings forsomeone over night. We are not compadable and our marriage is over, that doesn't mean I hate her. The thingis she has no family what so ever. She really has no place to go, I just feel for her situation.

 

[garrula lingua]

Who was taking care of her before you ?

Why isn't she trying to help herself ?

Is there a reason she can't work ?

Is there a close friend of hers who can help her ?

Is there a lease on the apt for which you will be responsible ?

Go forward with the divorce and continue to help her - nothing says you can't remain friends.

Even if you have NO legal obligation, it doesn't mean you can't, voluntarily, assist someone for as long as you want (in some states this is dangerous, as it's showing the court that you have the ability to support her and she has the need; that's not true in Tx).

Good luck.