Tax Return

[DK1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

My son's mother and I share 50/50 parenting time with our son and have joint legal and physical custody. After we separated, I suggested that we share the tax benefit of filing our son as a dependent by alternating each year claiming him as a dependent as I felt this was fair. She felt that it was her benefit and declined my offer and she suggested that we follow the IRS guidelines.

Looking into the IRS guidelines and having equal parenting time, the benefit would go to me. So I filed with our son as a dependent.

When we recently met with our lawyers concerning a separate issue, she wanted to re-address the tax issue so that we can share the benefit. She stated that the benefit was a fraction of what is actually is during our meeting. To keep the peace and since it didn't appear to be a significant of an amount, I agreed to amend my tax returns so that we would retrospectively alternate the benefit and this was included in a consent order.

After the fact and meeting with my accountant, I find that the benefit is over 5 times that amount she stated. I owe quite a bit more than I feel comfortable with because i was misleAd into this agreement.

Any suggestions on how to handle this one? Would it look petty or even be reasonable to request the court to retract that portion of our agreement and require us to re-evaluate?

 

[ecmst12]

If it's in the court order, you have to do it. Is it in the order signed by a judge?

 

[DK1]

Yes, it is and I understand that I should follow the court order. My question is, would be considered reasonable to request the court to amend that part of the consent order to require us to re-evaluate the past tax years since it was agreed to based on misleading information provided the other party?

 

[ecmst12]

You should ask your lawyer about that. It's possible but it might not be a good idea. I have no idea why you agreed to that in the first place...

 

[DK1]

You should ask your lawyer about that. It's possible but it might not be a good idea. I have no idea why you agreed to that in the first place...

I'm posting on here to get feedback from experienced people in this field and thank you for your interest in my post.

Why do you feel that it might not be a good idea?

Does anybody else have advice on this?

 

[stealth2]

When was this actually signed by the court?

However, I expect a judge would tell you that you agreed to it - if you did so w/o checking the details? You get to live with your mistake.

 

[DK1]

When was this actually signed by the court?

However, I expect a judge would tell you that you agreed to it - if you did so w/o checking the details? You get to live with your mistake.

Last month.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? NJ

My son's mother and I share 50/50 parenting time with our son and have joint legal and physical custody. After we separated, I suggested that we share the tax benefit of filing our son as a dependent by alternating each year claiming him as a dependent as I felt this was fair. She felt that it was her benefit and declined my offer and she suggested that we follow the IRS guidelines.

Looking into the IRS guidelines and having equal parenting time, the benefit would go to me. So I filed with our son as a dependent.

When we recently met with our lawyers concerning a separate issue, she wanted to re-address the tax issue so that we can share the benefit. She stated that the benefit was a fraction of what is actually is during our meeting. To keep the peace and since it didn't appear to be a significant of an amount, I agreed to amend my tax returns so that we would retrospectively alternate the benefit and this was included in a consent order.

After the fact and meeting with my accountant, I find that the benefit is over 5 times that amount she stated. I owe quite a bit more than I feel comfortable with because i was misleAd into this agreement.

Any suggestions on how to handle this one? Would it look petty or even be reasonable to request the court to retract that portion of our agreement and require us to re-evaluate?

Not likely. You have a signed agreement. You can't go back and change it just because you didn't do your homework up front.

 

[stealth2]

Last month.

In our fine state, you have 20 days from when the order was served to file a motion to amend or for reconsideration. (more info here Divorce Source: Motions for Reconsideration)

However, I suspect you would not be successful since it is an agreed order and you didn't take the time to verify the numbers until afterwards.

In the future - and for anyone reading, regardless of the state - do NOT sign anything "in the heat of the moment". Ask for a couple of days to review the agreement. If there's an objection to that? It's even more reason to refuse to sign at the time.

 

[CSO286]

In our fine state, you have 20 days from when the order was served to file a motion to amend or for reconsideration. (more info here Divorce Source: Motions for Reconsideration)

However, I suspect you would not be successful since it is an agreed order and you didn't take the time to verify the numbers until afterwards.

In the future - and for anyone reading, regardless of the state - do NOT sign anything "in the heat of the moment". Ask for a couple of days to review the agreement. If there's an objection to that? It's even more reason to refuse to sign at the time.

Too important to not repeat!!!!

Oh, and READ IT BEFORE YOU SIGN. Don't "take my my word for it" that the paperwork says X, Y, Z. If you haven't read it, then for all you know, your agreement actually reads: "Parent B will have parenting time with child on the sixth weekend of every month."

 

[DK1]

I wanted to add that this was advocated by my lawyer despite my objection to it during a meeting with my lawyer, her lawyer, and our son's mother. I follow my lawyers advise because I see him as the expert... This should be common knowledge, I hope.

I am paying my lawyer to help provide the best we (his mother and I) have to offer our son, to protect me from our son's mother's lies so that he has the opportunity to have his father in his life and take advantage of what I have to offer him, and for my lawyer to advocate for me when she lies as well. She lied about the amount of the benefit which factored into my determination (and my lawyer's too I assume) on weather her request was reasonable thereby misleading me into an agreement that is not reasonable.

Our son's mother, her lawyer, my lawyer, and myself had a meeting. I objected to that part of the agreement stating that I question her accuracy concerning the amount of the tax benefit but my lawyer insisted that it was okay, her lawyer told me that the more time I waist complaining about it the more it will cost for this meeting and considering the amount in question I should stop arguing it, and our son's mother was assuring me that the benefit is 1/5th what it actually is. Again, even at 1/5th of the amount it shouldn't be my responsibility since she denied my offer to share the tax benefit in the first place. I mentioned this during our meeting and my lawyer knew this.

More to this is the main topic of this meeting involved where our son would attend kindergarten. Pressure from everyone in the room including my lawyer and the need to determine a school for our son on a short time line (the time line was short because she led me to think that she would consider having our son attend school by me until it was to late to reasonably file the disagreement in court) pushed me into this financial problem. Which the result related to schooling was a descent fit for all of us but still not the best long term fit for our son, which I was pressing for. I still need my lawyer's help, but question his effectiveness to advocate for me and still carry a balance with him which is going to delay the the legal actions needed to take to arrange for my son's schooling for 1st grade (the school he is attending only provides kindergarten) especially considering the substantial finical loss related to taxes from our last meeting.

I'm kind of caught in a triangle, full time legal help is needed to deal with the antics of our son's mother to ensure that we provide him the best we have to offer and I have a place in our son's life, now a financial issue which related to this legal agreement follows into the antics of mom (not to mention all the past money spent in legal fees that very well could have went to our son's college fund), effectiveness of my lawyer to advocate for me within reasonable limitations.

Any advice on how to proceed would be appreciated.

 

[mistoffolees]

Our son's mother, her lawyer, my lawyer, and myself had a meeting. I objected to that part of the agreement stating that I question her accuracy concerning the amount of the tax benefit but my lawyer insisted that it was okay, her lawyer told me that the more time I waist complaining about it the more it will cost for this meeting and considering the amount in question I should stop arguing it, and our son's mother was assuring me that the benefit is 1/5th what it actually is. Again, even at 1/5th of the amount it shouldn't be my responsibility since she denied my offer to share the tax benefit in the first place. I mentioned this during our meeting and my lawyer knew this.

Once again, "I was too stupid to figure this out for myself so I just took my ex's word for it and signed the document" is not grounds for a change in the order.

You have a signed court order that you agreed to. Period. End of discussion.

If there's a change in circumstances, you may be able to ask for it to be addressed in the future, but your inability to figure out your own tax liability is not a change in circumstances.

And your lawyer is right. At $350 per hour fighting over it, it doesn't take too many hours to wipe out the tax benefit - especially since you'll probably be paying for your ex's attorney as well because you would be the one looking for a change.

 

[DK1]

Once again, "I was too stupid to figure this out for myself so I just took my ex's word for it and signed the document" is not grounds for a change in the order.

You have a signed court order that you agreed to. Period. End of discussion.

If there's a change in circumstances, you may be able to ask for it to be addressed in the future, but your inability to figure out your own tax liability is not a change in circumstances.

And your lawyer is right. At $350 per hour fighting over it, it doesn't take too many hours to wipe out the tax benefit - especially since you'll probably be paying for your ex's attorney as well because you would be the one looking for a change.

This was an agreement that needed to be signed at the meeting due to availability of the school we agreed to send our son to, it hinged on weather or not I was going to file a certification for his schooling that day, and our son's mother's insecure waffling tactics.

I wouldn't call ensuring that we have a school for our son that "I was too stupid..." and relying on the ability of a lawyer to project me from someone that lacks integrity. You may have the same impression my lawyer did on the amount in question, the amount in question is significant to the point that it may be worth it....

Am I to learn that being misleading is part of this messed on game of co-parenting in a joint custody arrangement. I'm hoping that integrity is more valued.... please tell me if I'm wrong. If I am wrong, it's very disappointing that our son's future is going to hang on balance of such a system that values deception.

Commonsense is telling me that there is something in the legal system that protects people for being mislead into an agreement....

 

[WittyUserName]

This was an agreement that needed to be signed at the meeting due to availability of the school we agreed to send our son to, it hinged on weather or not I was going to file a certification for his schooling that day, and our son's mother's insecure waffling tactics.

I wouldn't call ensuring that we have a school for our son that "I was too stupid..." and relying on the ability of a lawyer to project me from someone that lacks integrity. You may have the same impression my lawyer did on the amount in question, the amount in question is significant to the point that it may be worth it....

Am I to learn that being misleading is part of this messed on game of co-parenting in a joint custody arrangement. I'm hoping that integrity is more valued.... please tell me if I'm wrong. If I am wrong, it's very disappointing that our son's future is going to hang on balance of such a system that values deception.

Commonsense is telling me that there is something in the legal system that protects people for being mislead into an agreement....

Well, yeah. If Mom was unbelievably wonderful and amenable to everything you ever asked.....she would be unlikely to be your ex.

What protects people in the legal system is their own due diligence. Chalk it up to a learning experience.

 

[LdiJ]

This was an agreement that needed to be signed at the meeting due to availability of the school we agreed to send our son to, it hinged on weather or not I was going to file a certification for his schooling that day, and our son's mother's insecure waffling tactics.

I wouldn't call ensuring that we have a school for our son that "I was too stupid..." and relying on the ability of a lawyer to project me from someone that lacks integrity. You may have the same impression my lawyer did on the amount in question, the amount in question is significant to the point that it may be worth it....

Am I to learn that being misleading is part of this messed on game of co-parenting in a joint custody arrangement. I'm hoping that integrity is more valued.... please tell me if I'm wrong. If I am wrong, it's very disappointing that our son's future is going to hang on balance of such a system that values deception.

Commonsense is telling me that there is something in the legal system that protects people for being mislead into an agreement....

As a tax professional, I have some serious concern when you state that the actual tax benefit is 5 times higher than what mom said it was. That tells me that there is a very real probability that you did something wrong with your original tax return.