frustminister
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? Virginia
Hubby and I are in a precarious situation in more ways than one.
It is a very long story with someone who is, as it appears to most all involved (approx. 8 of us), potentially dangerous and definitely mentally unstable.
Who we are: Two long time AA'ers, who were ordained and turned in our credentials because of unseemly behavior from our ministerial covering. Those involved know we turned our credentials in, but we still consider ourselves ministers and many of those we work with in the program do also.
Who it involves: Many newcomers, several vulnerable individuals who also got caught up into this nightmare, a little girl (his daughter) who most of us think is being sexually abused and a wife who we suspect is being abused also, but who is gone most of the time.
What it involves: A man with a lot of money (money with lawyers who could sue us) We are making report to DCF tomorrow and we aren't worried too much about the legal outcome of that because state law mandates that we make such reports; however, the beginning of this mess started out almost a year ago and it started with this unstable individual recruiting several well-meaning individuals from AA/NA into helping him build a half-way house on his property. He managed to get building materials for almost nothing for this place and the individuals involved provided labor.
We have since then seen his true colors.
During this time, after the initial perception wore off, we find that he is a control freak and very abusive to those who are very vulnerable. He is admittedly off of his meds and refuses to go back on them. Has made many false statements, as to being in the military, trained killer, enjoyed killing, ect. We found out recently that he never made it through boot-camp. Went to Levenworth. However, other statements which were made in confidence, or could be percieved as made in confidence are that, "he has illegal weapons in his home" (machine guns ect), "That he drug a bunch of little cuties in his van and drugged them" (hubby said he was referring to young girls and that he never bothered to ask their ages) ect.
Well, to begin with, he had asked several of us to be on his board of directors. We told him we would have to think very seriously about it. He kept trying to drag us into situations regarding those that he wanted in his halfway house. We told him, we wouldn't be a part of anything without a legal structure because we didn't want to take a chance of a lawsuit. He dragged his feet on getting it legal.
Over the past couple of months he has become more unstable and at this point perhaps even dangerous/delusional and as he claims armed.
My husband works as a volunteer in Corrections. We are currently working on developing a statewide program. My husband heads up regional volunteer activities with AA to get people registered to take in meetings. Since he has done such a great job, we worked on getting a program with pre-release contacts set up and the head honchos in our state hope to make it statewide, get funding for it ect., with my husband in charge of the program.
Our deranged friend couldn't get his pass approved for reasons we are not sure of. But, evidently, it gave him some ideas.
We recently learned that, by using our names, he has convinced a woman with previous Corrections Employment ties to help get him inmates for his halfway house. She, although we've never met the woman, has some ties in high places in the Corrections community.
We not only think it is dangerous for any person who would have to stay there, but even the implication of my husband being involved in what is apparently this guy's shady dealings, could keep us from being involved in the statewide program that my husband has been working to develop for over a year now.
We are working on totally extricating ourselves and our AA group from his property. As soon as we can contact everyone involved and have a group conscience. Unfortunately, we are commited until after Thanksgiving because now many AA groups and individuals are involved and our group is hosting what is commonly called an Alcathon. Food and meetings non-stop over the holiday.
We are sort of stuck with that committment because it was made months ago.
So, here are the basic questions:
1) How do we legally go about letting others know that we are not on his board of directors without it becoming a case of slander that he can turn around and sue us over?
2) If we put a notice in the paper "To Whom It May Concern" is there anything we need to watch out for in wording this?
3) Are there any inexpensive methods we can use to keep him from using our names in promoting his halfway house (which isn't legal yet) so that he can't ruin our credibility and our futures?
4) Several of us believe that he is indeed a danger, how dangerous we don't even know because we can't figure out when he is telling the truth or lieing. Besides buying weapons, is there any way to keep this guy from flipping out and killing any of us? He hasn't threatened to kill or harm any of us directly; however, over the past couple of months as problems kept arising, his references to killing and some side comments, ect. have made us all a little nervous. His temper is something else.
We have over 20 yrs experience in AA and there was only one other character that we've met in the rooms that is remotely as 'dark' as this individual. The other was the Bithlo Bomber in FL. The advantage of the Bithlo Bomber was that he was upfront crazy and we all knew it. He acted out in the AA club and they were able to call the police and get him removed and consequently barred from the club.
The fellow we are dealing with is a professional in the medical field. Comes off initially as a very energetic, devoted individual with a lot of conviction for his 'vision'. And underneath that venear is a very devious, cruel and dishonest aand very troubled person.
5) Since we are not 'credentialed ministers' and only the anonymity of AA applies, can we end up in trouble if we reveal things that were said in confidence to the police/soc. services or other necessary parties (corrections officers?).
We've never run into anything like this before and just bringing up the topic at a meeting would tell everybody who we were talking about without mentioning any names.
Hubby and I are in a precarious situation in more ways than one.
It is a very long story with someone who is, as it appears to most all involved (approx. 8 of us), potentially dangerous and definitely mentally unstable.Who we are: Two long time AA'ers, who were ordained and turned in our credentials because of unseemly behavior from our ministerial covering. Those involved know we turned our credentials in, but we still consider ourselves ministers and many of those we work with in the program do also.
Who it involves: Many newcomers, several vulnerable individuals who also got caught up into this nightmare, a little girl (his daughter) who most of us think is being sexually abused and a wife who we suspect is being abused also, but who is gone most of the time.
What it involves: A man with a lot of money (money with lawyers who could sue us) We are making report to DCF tomorrow and we aren't worried too much about the legal outcome of that because state law mandates that we make such reports; however, the beginning of this mess started out almost a year ago and it started with this unstable individual recruiting several well-meaning individuals from AA/NA into helping him build a half-way house on his property. He managed to get building materials for almost nothing for this place and the individuals involved provided labor.
We have since then seen his true colors.
During this time, after the initial perception wore off, we find that he is a control freak and very abusive to those who are very vulnerable. He is admittedly off of his meds and refuses to go back on them. Has made many false statements, as to being in the military, trained killer, enjoyed killing, ect. We found out recently that he never made it through boot-camp. Went to Levenworth. However, other statements which were made in confidence, or could be percieved as made in confidence are that, "he has illegal weapons in his home" (machine guns ect), "That he drug a bunch of little cuties in his van and drugged them" (hubby said he was referring to young girls and that he never bothered to ask their ages) ect.
Well, to begin with, he had asked several of us to be on his board of directors. We told him we would have to think very seriously about it. He kept trying to drag us into situations regarding those that he wanted in his halfway house. We told him, we wouldn't be a part of anything without a legal structure because we didn't want to take a chance of a lawsuit. He dragged his feet on getting it legal.
Over the past couple of months he has become more unstable and at this point perhaps even dangerous/delusional and as he claims armed.
My husband works as a volunteer in Corrections. We are currently working on developing a statewide program. My husband heads up regional volunteer activities with AA to get people registered to take in meetings. Since he has done such a great job, we worked on getting a program with pre-release contacts set up and the head honchos in our state hope to make it statewide, get funding for it ect., with my husband in charge of the program.
Our deranged friend couldn't get his pass approved for reasons we are not sure of. But, evidently, it gave him some ideas.
We recently learned that, by using our names, he has convinced a woman with previous Corrections Employment ties to help get him inmates for his halfway house. She, although we've never met the woman, has some ties in high places in the Corrections community.
We not only think it is dangerous for any person who would have to stay there, but even the implication of my husband being involved in what is apparently this guy's shady dealings, could keep us from being involved in the statewide program that my husband has been working to develop for over a year now.
We are working on totally extricating ourselves and our AA group from his property. As soon as we can contact everyone involved and have a group conscience. Unfortunately, we are commited until after Thanksgiving because now many AA groups and individuals are involved and our group is hosting what is commonly called an Alcathon. Food and meetings non-stop over the holiday.
We are sort of stuck with that committment because it was made months ago.
So, here are the basic questions:
1) How do we legally go about letting others know that we are not on his board of directors without it becoming a case of slander that he can turn around and sue us over?
2) If we put a notice in the paper "To Whom It May Concern" is there anything we need to watch out for in wording this?
3) Are there any inexpensive methods we can use to keep him from using our names in promoting his halfway house (which isn't legal yet) so that he can't ruin our credibility and our futures?
4) Several of us believe that he is indeed a danger, how dangerous we don't even know because we can't figure out when he is telling the truth or lieing. Besides buying weapons, is there any way to keep this guy from flipping out and killing any of us? He hasn't threatened to kill or harm any of us directly; however, over the past couple of months as problems kept arising, his references to killing and some side comments, ect. have made us all a little nervous. His temper is something else.
We have over 20 yrs experience in AA and there was only one other character that we've met in the rooms that is remotely as 'dark' as this individual. The other was the Bithlo Bomber in FL. The advantage of the Bithlo Bomber was that he was upfront crazy and we all knew it. He acted out in the AA club and they were able to call the police and get him removed and consequently barred from the club.
The fellow we are dealing with is a professional in the medical field. Comes off initially as a very energetic, devoted individual with a lot of conviction for his 'vision'. And underneath that venear is a very devious, cruel and dishonest aand very troubled person.
5) Since we are not 'credentialed ministers' and only the anonymity of AA applies, can we end up in trouble if we reveal things that were said in confidence to the police/soc. services or other necessary parties (corrections officers?).
We've never run into anything like this before and just bringing up the topic at a meeting would tell everybody who we were talking about without mentioning any names.