terminating parental rights

[luvmissed]

undefinedWhat is the name of your state?VA.
Could someone please tell me how a dad can relinquish his parental rights. The ex wife took off for four years and now has come back when the child is eight and she is making it very, very hard to see the child. The child was told he was going to be adopted by his stepfather and now they have changed their mind and is trying to squeeze every dime out of us. He never sees his child and she will make sure he don't somehow, we cannot afford a lawyer. He and the child do not know each other and there is little to NO hope they will ever be able to form any type of relationship. Please help.

 

[VeronicaGia]

undefinedWhat is the name of your state?VA.
Could someone please tell me how a dad can relinquish his parental rights. The ex wife took off for four years and now has come back when the child is eight and she is making it very, very hard to see the child. The child was told he was going to be adopted by his stepfather and now they have changed their mind and is trying to squeeze every dime out of us. He never sees his child and she will make sure he don't somehow, we cannot afford a lawyer. He and the child do not know each other and there is little to NO hope they will ever be able to form any type of relationship. Please help.

This subject has been discussed countless times. One cannot simply terminate one's rights. Please search the forums for this question.

 

[luvmissed]

This subject has been discussed countless times. One cannot simply terminate one's rights. Please search the forums for this question.

Virginia
I have searched the forums for hours and could not see anything pertaining to Va. when it comes to this. Thank you.

 

[kat1963]

He can not terminate his rights in order to stop his financial obligation to the child. Do you think that she's going to give up the child support? No or she wouldn't have filed in the first place. Do you think that the judge is going to agree that it's in the *best interest of the child* for his rights to be terminated (which in VA also stops support). No. TPR in VA takes an administrative hearing. Of course he can file but it simply isn't going to happen & he'll probably be ordered to pay her legal fees in fighting it. He has 10 more years to pay (or until 19, graduation from high school).
If there isn't a custody/visitation order, he needs to get one. If she goes against the order then he files a motion to show cause (contempt). VA takes visitation interference seriously. If she goes against the judges orders there is a very good chance that physical custody could be changed to the more agreeable parent. If there was never a DNA test done he should get that done too (a large study showed approx 30% come back not the daddy). There are forms available on line here:
http://www.courts.state.va.us/main.htm

KAT

 

[luvmissed]

He can not terminate his rights in order to stop his financial obligation to the child. Do you think that she's going to give up the child support? No or she wouldn't have filed in the first place. Do you think that the judge is going to agree that it's in the *best interest of the child* for his rights to be terminated (which in VA also stops support). No. TPR in VA takes an administrative hearing. Of course he can file but it simply isn't going to happen & he'll probably be ordered to pay her legal fees in fighting it. He has 10 more years to pay (or until 19, graduation from high school).
If there isn't a custody/visitation order, he needs to get one. If she goes against the order then he files a motion to show cause (contempt). VA takes visitation interference seriously. If she goes against the judges orders there is a very good chance that physical custody could be changed to the more agreeable parent. If there was never a DNA test done he should get that done too (a large study showed approx 30% come back not the daddy). There are forms available on line here:
http://www.courts.state.va.us/main.htm

KAT

First of all, they were married when the child was born, but when he went to get a divorce, he had no idea where she was, he had to go through the newspaper.He didn't know where she was for the whole FOUR years. We still do not know where they live, she took him to court for CS and we still don't have a physical address on her or the child. We saw the child twice since she has resurfaced and the child calls him by his first name and said his "dad" was going to adopt him. We are at our wits end. We have NO money for an attorney to even fight her for more visitation. Right now he gets 2 hours every other weekend. After she has been gone all this time with the child, this is all the visitation we get. HUH? not right in my eyes, yet we are suppose to pay her almost $400 a month in CS. If we had the money for an attorney we could fight her but we don't even have a home of our own right now due to the CS being paid. Look, I am not saying he shouldn't be responsible for his child, we just think it's unfair what she has done and is still doing.

 

[kat1963]

I didn't say it was right but that's the way it is. If she's not following the court ordered visitation schedule then he needs to file a motion to show cause (contempt) against her asking for make-up & additional parenting time.
He did get a DNA test right?
KAT

 

[luvmissed]

NO, he didn't get a DNA test because we cannot afford it, we would like one, but we were told it was going to cost us between $200 to $500. I feel like we're stuck between a rock and a hard place ya know. No money, and no lawyer, what can we do?

 

[sickaboutit]

P.U.S.H

Pray Until Something Happens! The system sucks when it comes to fathers, rights, and child support! I am dealing with a similar situation like that of my own....just P.U.S.H!

 

[UMgoblue]

Texas

I know that here in Texas it's like pulling hen's teeth for a relinquishment of paternal rights to go through. When my ex and I went to court, we were both in agreeance, I am married, settled, with other children, and they STILL wouldn't let us go through with it. Strange but true. I guess they would rather my baby keep being denied love by the man she is genetically linked to, than to be embraced with open arms by her already step-father that loves her as his own and would kill himself for her. Sad but true!

As for not knowing where the child and mother are... I know there is a "parent locating" form at the Attorney general's web page here. You can also go to a link for paternity testing. He can say he doesnt believe the child is his (if she wont let him see her, or has said that he/she wasn't) and they start the paperwork. Not only will this set his mind to ease, but I will also locate the other parent for you. It is what happened to us. But I hope it works out for you...