Termination of Father's Parental Rights

[2greytgreys]

I'm at my wits end. My 9 yr old daughter's dad has decided he doesn't think she is his. He only questions it when he gets a bill in the mail relating to her, today it was the notice that he needs to pay his court dockett fee. We currently have joint custody, however he only sees her on average about an hour a week. Last Friday he picked her up and took her to his parents (10 mins away) and left her there and never came back. Finally his parents brought her home around 9:30 PM. Tonight he had her for 3 hrs while I was at class. He brought her home at 11PM and immediately started screaming at me that he wanted to have her blood tested. He said she smarted off to him so he knows she can't be his child. This is a constant battle between the two of us. There is no way she could be anyone elses and he knows it. Part of me wants to give her a blood test just to prove it and part me says, she is 9 yrs old, he either loves her or he doesn't. My main concern is that she is present during all of his temper tantrums (this is why we divorced 7 yrs ago). She sees his anger and listens to him bad mouth me. I am a good parent to her. I have never missed a school program or dance performance. He has never been to any. I currently get support from him only because it is garnished from his paycheck. I am tired of listening to my daughter cry herself to sleep at night wondering why her daddy doesn't love her. He can be a good dad for a few days but then he always goes back to being the bad dad that he really is. He gets her all excited about how he is going to change and be the dad she deserves one minute and then all of a sudden, Boom. He's back to saying mean stuff to her. She has gone for 4 months before without ever hearing from him (he only lives 10 min away). Those 4 months were so nice for the two of us. She laughed and smiled and had fun. I would rather do without his child support and not have to deal with him treating her the way he does. My question is, how do I go about terminating his parental rights? I don't even know where to begin. I was keeping a journal of all of his tantrums, but he found it and destroyed it so now I only have 1 weeks worth instead of 2 years worth. I appreciate any and all advice I get. Thank you very much!!!

 

[tigger22472]

First off I'd like to know what state you live in. I live in Indiana and would like to do the same as you for your case is similar to mine except he's never said that he didn't think my boys were his. He tells them outragous lies, things like he's dying and won't see them again. He also goes months and months without contact. However my advantage is he lives about 2 hours away from me now. I've offered several times to drop all past support (he's over $10,000 behind) or any future support if he will simply turn over his parental rights and he's refused. I'm currently trying to find the actual paperwork and see if I send that to him if he'll fill them out. I can't afford an attoney and even though I know it's illegal I have stopped contact from him. As I said he lives further away so it's easier for me to do and he doesn't try to see them enough anyways so it's not much of a challenge to stop him. As far as I've been told it will be extremely hard to get his rights taken away if he's not compliant. I believe the only reason my ex won't is that he likes the "idea" that he has children.

 

[2greytgreys]

I also live in Indiana (Southern Indiana). My ex has also told my daughter he is going to die. But he tells her all the time that, since he is an iron worker all he would have to do is step off the rail and all would be over. One night he went as far as to tell her she would be getting about $250,000. Needless to say, she was extremely excited. She didn't realize that it would be from his life insurance if he was killed in a work related accident.
He agreed about a year ago to sign her over to me, but when his parents found out they threw a fit. So instead, I got a judgement against him for child support. Last night was it. When he brought her home, he had to be on some kind of drugs because he was acting extremely strange and his eyes were really bugged out. Currently he doesn't have a home, he lost it about a month ago due to a fire. If he won't terminate his parental rights, I would like to get full custody and control of her. I too cannot afford a lawyer. Being a single parent is rough, isn't it. I currently have 3 jobs to try to support us. I am at the end of my rope and if something doesn't change soon, I'm afraid I'm going to lose my mind.
Thanks for your note. It makes me feel better in a way that there are other people out there going through this very same thing. But in another way, it makes me feel very sad to know that so many different people are going through this very same thing.