LdiJ said:
In some ways it is semantics, in other ways it isn't. Joint legal custody is very much the norm these days (joint decision making) and more and more states are getting away from the concept of visitation...and going more into the concept of joint or shared parenting, even when the timeshare isn't 50/50...or still follows the standard, every other weekend.
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However it does recognize the inherent rights, responsibilities and value of both parents, and gives them equal decisions making rights regarding their children and equal "status" as parents.
I hope that makes sense.
This is where I get confused - and I don't like being confused about my parenting plan - especially a year later.
My ex has 'sole legal custody'. However, with the exception of that phrase, the entire plan is written using a joint-agreement template. (He only really wanted to be able to control their religious upbringing.)
We have a 60/40 split, with me being the one who has the kids more often. While I know this isn't always the best arrangement, it's worked VERY well for the past year, and the kids are thriving.
The wrench in the works is him getting married and moving. I posted about that before, so I won't bore everyone with the details.
It's his responsibility, as the party who is moving, to present me with notification in the form of a certified/return receipt letter. This notification must include, not only the new address, but also a new parenting plan. (this is in the decree)
What I'm attempting to come up with, not knowing what he'll propose, is a parenting plan of my own, stating what I want to have happen, so that I have a response to him very soon after he makes his proposal.
What I would like to propose to him is that the kids stay in the same school/daycare that they're in now - and that they've attended since the oldest was 2 - and that he simply take on the extra driving burden that his move will cause. This increases his commute from 5 minutes to more like 30, but since he's the one moving, I think it's fair that he take on the driving. It also makes his commute almost exactly what mine is. He only takes the kids to school 2 mornings per week, so it's not like this would be an every day drive for him.
With him moving, neither of us will actually live in the school district, but if the kids attend the local daycare, this isn't an issue.
I want something fair to both of us as parents, but also in the best interest of the kids. And, in my opinion, I think changing as little as possible is the best option. Our divorce has been final for just over a year, and I think that dad moving and getting married is enough to deal with, without changing schools/leaving their friends on top of that.
Does this sound like something that would be acceptable to the average judge if we end up in court? Does it sound as fair as I think it does?
