Jurisdiction is in Colorado/we both now live in Texas. Children are 10 and 12.
The unbecoming truth - Two and a half years ago I asked my ex to take our two children, of whom we had shared 50/50 parenting, joint legal custody of for five years, not without a great deal of conflict. At the time, my house had flooded and I was struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD and self medicating with alcohol. I wanted to go to treatment. I did not get a DUI or have any legal troubles, no CPS involvement, but recognized I was struggling. I did the right thing, even the Judge has said that all along.
This was in Colorado. There were temporary orders allocating full parenting time to their Dad, but still sharing joint legal custody, while I got the help I needed.
I went to Mississippi for treatment for 60 days, lived in sober living for 90 days, participated in a 10 week outpatient program, and went to therapy. My intention was to return to Colorado after about a year of sobriety.
At nine months sober we went to mediation to modify the temporary orders to delineate phone contact and visitation, among some less important things, while I was in Mississippi.
Right at a year sober, my ex filed to ask permission to move to Texas. After thinking on it, I filed back that I did not contest the move, but I would instead follow the kids to Texas. The Judge ordered that our temporary parenting plan was to be followed strictly in Texas.
Once my ex moved to Texas he stopped following the parenting plan. We're supposed to use Talking Parents to communicate, he stopped reading. Said that's where I 'whine about stuff' and he doesn't have time for it. Said he won't 'force' the kids to talk to me. Didn't register me on their school information. I was able to jump through hoops and fix that.
I filed a motion that he was in contempt, but it took three months for the Judge to respond telling me I filed it wrong. I had served my ex the papers, via mail. I was supposed to serve his attorney. Even though I had e-mails from his attorney that stated she was no longer representing him. I feel like he and his attorney kind of ensnared me in that mistake, but it is what it is.
Instead of refiling it and risking wasting more time, I moved to Texas with zero planning. Just got in my car and took the first job I could that came with housing. The situation is even worse than I'd suspected. He and his girlfriend call me an egg donor to the kids. They tell them it's my life goal to ruin their lives and that's why I moved here. The worst...from what I can tell, they've been holding out like an intact family. The kids are actually, understandably, embarrassed that I moved here to a degree because everyone believes his girlfriend is their real mom. I go to school functions but don't say hi because I don't want them to feel awkward but want them to remember, as adults, that I was there. His girlfriend confronts me in front of the kids and other people asking me how it feels to pretend to be a parent. The kids tell me they're afraid to tell their Dad and his girlfriend they want to see me because they'll get mad.
I'll give more info if I'm asked, because there is a lot. I contacted the Colorado court and explained that my Ex is not following the parenting plan. They told me to change jurisdiction to the county where we both live in Texas now. So, my most important question is...what do I file to change jurisdiction here? Also, my circumstances have changed drastically. I moved here six months ago and now have a good and flexible with family life job and an apartment with room for the kids. I live 21 minutes away from their Dad's house, 18 minutes away from our son's school, and 7 minutes away from our daughter's school. All of the orders in Colorado were only temporary contingent upon me getting treatment and updating the court, which I've always done. I've been sober for two years. Do I file the temporary orders so at least he hopefully starts following them? I think my ex feels emboldened by my history of powerlessness and victimhood, so he's basically doing what he wants believing I'm too weak to do anything about it. Especially since the last motion I filed didn't go anywhere. That needs to be addressed immediately. But really, I want to go back to our original 50/50 plan, or at least head in that direction.
Ideally, I think a GAL should be involved. I am very concerned about what the kids are being told about me. I can't imagine how frightening it is to them to be told someone who is trying to be in their life is trying to ruin it. Not to mention, that puts me in a bit of a tight spot. I messed up big time as a parent, but I've done everything I can think of to do better and learn from it.
In case it isn't obvious, I represent myself. I can't afford a lawyer, but I at least want the kids to know that I didn't give up on them, even though that's the message they're getting from ex and gf. I'm of the mind that doing something is better than doing nothing at all, but I'd like to attempt to be somewhat 'right-direction' about what I'm doing. *braces self* Tell it like it is, as I watch you all do around here. Thanks in advance.
The unbecoming truth - Two and a half years ago I asked my ex to take our two children, of whom we had shared 50/50 parenting, joint legal custody of for five years, not without a great deal of conflict. At the time, my house had flooded and I was struggling with anxiety, depression, PTSD and self medicating with alcohol. I wanted to go to treatment. I did not get a DUI or have any legal troubles, no CPS involvement, but recognized I was struggling. I did the right thing, even the Judge has said that all along.
This was in Colorado. There were temporary orders allocating full parenting time to their Dad, but still sharing joint legal custody, while I got the help I needed.
I went to Mississippi for treatment for 60 days, lived in sober living for 90 days, participated in a 10 week outpatient program, and went to therapy. My intention was to return to Colorado after about a year of sobriety.
At nine months sober we went to mediation to modify the temporary orders to delineate phone contact and visitation, among some less important things, while I was in Mississippi.
Right at a year sober, my ex filed to ask permission to move to Texas. After thinking on it, I filed back that I did not contest the move, but I would instead follow the kids to Texas. The Judge ordered that our temporary parenting plan was to be followed strictly in Texas.
Once my ex moved to Texas he stopped following the parenting plan. We're supposed to use Talking Parents to communicate, he stopped reading. Said that's where I 'whine about stuff' and he doesn't have time for it. Said he won't 'force' the kids to talk to me. Didn't register me on their school information. I was able to jump through hoops and fix that.
I filed a motion that he was in contempt, but it took three months for the Judge to respond telling me I filed it wrong. I had served my ex the papers, via mail. I was supposed to serve his attorney. Even though I had e-mails from his attorney that stated she was no longer representing him. I feel like he and his attorney kind of ensnared me in that mistake, but it is what it is.
Instead of refiling it and risking wasting more time, I moved to Texas with zero planning. Just got in my car and took the first job I could that came with housing. The situation is even worse than I'd suspected. He and his girlfriend call me an egg donor to the kids. They tell them it's my life goal to ruin their lives and that's why I moved here. The worst...from what I can tell, they've been holding out like an intact family. The kids are actually, understandably, embarrassed that I moved here to a degree because everyone believes his girlfriend is their real mom. I go to school functions but don't say hi because I don't want them to feel awkward but want them to remember, as adults, that I was there. His girlfriend confronts me in front of the kids and other people asking me how it feels to pretend to be a parent. The kids tell me they're afraid to tell their Dad and his girlfriend they want to see me because they'll get mad.
I'll give more info if I'm asked, because there is a lot. I contacted the Colorado court and explained that my Ex is not following the parenting plan. They told me to change jurisdiction to the county where we both live in Texas now. So, my most important question is...what do I file to change jurisdiction here? Also, my circumstances have changed drastically. I moved here six months ago and now have a good and flexible with family life job and an apartment with room for the kids. I live 21 minutes away from their Dad's house, 18 minutes away from our son's school, and 7 minutes away from our daughter's school. All of the orders in Colorado were only temporary contingent upon me getting treatment and updating the court, which I've always done. I've been sober for two years. Do I file the temporary orders so at least he hopefully starts following them? I think my ex feels emboldened by my history of powerlessness and victimhood, so he's basically doing what he wants believing I'm too weak to do anything about it. Especially since the last motion I filed didn't go anywhere. That needs to be addressed immediately. But really, I want to go back to our original 50/50 plan, or at least head in that direction.
Ideally, I think a GAL should be involved. I am very concerned about what the kids are being told about me. I can't imagine how frightening it is to them to be told someone who is trying to be in their life is trying to ruin it. Not to mention, that puts me in a bit of a tight spot. I messed up big time as a parent, but I've done everything I can think of to do better and learn from it.
In case it isn't obvious, I represent myself. I can't afford a lawyer, but I at least want the kids to know that I didn't give up on them, even though that's the message they're getting from ex and gf. I'm of the mind that doing something is better than doing nothing at all, but I'd like to attempt to be somewhat 'right-direction' about what I'm doing. *braces self* Tell it like it is, as I watch you all do around here. Thanks in advance.
