The boy down the street

[penny4u]

What is the name of your state? OH

I am very much hoping that I'm over reacting here. There is a boy down the street from us who I've only seen about 4 times in the 4 years we've been living here. First you have to understand that our street is filled with boys all the same age (11) and they are always at someone's house (mostly mine) or running around outside. This boy, who is the same age as my son and the other kids is NEVER allowed outside to play. When the kids go to the house to ask him to play his dad answers and always says no. The few times I have seen him he's had bruises. I asked him last week (first time I saw him since LAST summer) about another black eye and he says its from his older brother when they were wrestling. This boy is home schooled and should be in 6th grade, but he says he's in 4th. So he's in the house all day...everyday. Never playing with the other kids.

My husband says I'm over reacting. I think there is a ligitimate reason to make the call. If they find nothing...then no harm right? The whole thing just doesn't sit well with me. I'm right aren't I?

 

[CourtClerk]

All things individually and I say MYOB. My son never comes outside and there are a slew of boys his age. The only time you really see him is if he's going to the car (to go somewhere), taking out the trash or doing laundry.

However... with the bruises and 2 grades behind (barring there are no visible issues of retardation, etc). I say.. make the call. Do you ever hear crying or screaming? Is the little boy withdrawn?

 

[Just Blue]

What is the name of your state? OH

I am very much hoping that I'm over reacting here. There is a boy down the street from us who I've only seen about 4 times in the 4 years we've been living here. First you have to understand that our street is filled with boys all the same age (11) and they are always at someone's house (mostly mine) or running around outside. This boy, who is the same age as my son and the other kids is NEVER allowed outside to play. When the kids go to the house to ask him to play his dad answers and always says no. The few times I have seen him he's had bruises. I asked him last week (first time I saw him since LAST summer) about another black eye and he says its from his older brother when they were wrestling. This boy is home schooled and should be in 6th grade, but he says he's in 4th. So he's in the house all day...everyday. Never playing with the other kids.

My husband says I'm over reacting. I think there is a ligitimate reason to make the call. If they find nothing...then no harm right? The whole thing just doesn't sit well with me. I'm right aren't I?

Call******************************************....

 

[Ohiogal]

I vote call.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

I vote for call, but only because you saw bruises and a black eye. The worst case is that there isn't anything wrong and CPS goes on there merry way.

 

[penny4u]

Thanks everyone. I'll call in the morning. I just didn't want to start any trouble for a family that might be completely functional. I guess like courtclerk, some parents don't let their kids socialize with the neighborhood kids...which is a personal opinion that I don't mean to put down, but it's odd in our neighborhood. It's just this kid is always so happy when he is allowed out with the other kids. Honestly, I have forgotten about him through the years because he's never around. Then with the black eye last week, I started putting ALL the bruises together. I've never seen him without one. I'll let you know what happens, if anything. Hopefully, I'm wrong, but my gut tells me different.

 

[CourtClerk]

Correction:

It's not that I don't LET my son socialize with the kids outside... he doesn't LIKE the kids outside (they are rather rowdy and badly behaved). He has a couple of boys he runs around with.... 2 maybe, but I keep him busy outside of here (4 sports), so when he's home, he just wants to veg out and watch TV.

By this Sunday, my son has usually played football 4 days this week and been in a karate studio. He's just tired. Now, because of the fires, he's been sidelined for the week, so now he's just in the patio reading comic books with one of the boys in the complex.

 

[penny4u]

Correction:

It's not that I don't LET my son socialize with the kids outside... he doesn't LIKE the kids outside (they are rather rowdy and badly behaved). He has a couple of boys he runs around with.... 2 maybe, but I keep him busy outside of here (4 sports), so when he's home, he just wants to veg out and watch TV.

By this Sunday, my son has usually played football 4 days this week and been in a karate studio. He's just tired. Now, because of the fires, he's been sidelined for the week, so now he's just in the patio reading comic books with one of the boys in the complex.

Yeesh! I really didn't mean to offend you! My son, like yours...plays football and is now in the championship game. He also takes karate and is now starting indoor baseball. I understand making sure your child is OK. You just mentioned keeping your child sheltered in your first response. You don't need to justify yourself. Sorry if I offened you.

 

[CourtClerk]

Yeesh! I really didn't mean to offend you! My son, like yours...plays football and is now in the championship game. He also takes karate and is now starting indoor baseball. I understand making sure your child is OK. You just mentioned keeping your child sheltered in your first response. You don't need to justify yourself. Sorry if I offened you.

No offense taken... I only meant to correct:

I guess like courtclerk, some parents don't let their kids socialize with the neighborhood kids...

my son is free to go outside if he chooses... he just doesn't choose to.

 

[penny4u]

update

Just wanted to say thanks for the push to call.

One of the neighbor boys was over today and when his mom called to send him home she told me (she lives right next door to the boy) that the boy I posted about and his brother were taken by CPS. Apparently there was a big scene.

Everyone is sure that these calls are anonymous right? I'm glad the boys are safe, I'd just like to keep my involvement at the call. Thanks.

 

[CJane]

Just wanted to say thanks for the push to call.

One of the neighbor boys was over today and when his mom called to send him home she told me (she lives right next door to the boy) that the boy I posted about and his brother were taken by CPS. Apparently there was a big scene.

Everyone is sure that these calls are anonymous right? I'm glad the boys are safe, I'd just like to keep my involvement at the call. Thanks.

Yes, they're supposed to be 100% anonymous. Did you actually give your name though?

I ask because I just picked up the full investigator's report from when my ex called family services on me, and while his name is blacked out EVERYWHERE and it simply says "reporter"... they did miss one part where it says his name.

So... it's as anonymous as the person doing the censoring is competent.

 

[CourtClerk]

Just wanted to say thanks for the push to call.

One of the neighbor boys was over today and when his mom called to send him home she told me (she lives right next door to the boy) that the boy I posted about and his brother were taken by CPS. Apparently there was a big scene.

Everyone is sure that these calls are anonymous right? I'm glad the boys are safe, I'd just like to keep my involvement at the call. Thanks.

Unless someone is an incompetent as in CJane's situation, your name should not come up anywhere... they are 100% confidential.

On a side note, not everyone feels this way, but I wouldn't care if my name got out and I saved a child. God Bless you for making that call. Something really bad could have happened if you didn't -- and CPS doesn't do removals if they don't find cause to do so.

So rest assured, you did a good thing.

 

[Welcome 2 CO]

I agree - God bless you for making the call. You did the right thing - and a lot of the time that is not easy. So, there is a chance they find out it was you - either through incompetence or through neighborhood gossip, etc. You obviously were not friends with these people and if anyone bashes you for making the call, then write them off, too. You weighed the option that there might not be abuse and you risk the criticism of others - better to take the criticism than leave a kid at risk. Hooray for you and ignore anyone who calls you a meddler.

I warned my neighbor, J, about his ex's new boyfriend. When I learned the new boyfriend bought his daughter a horse after only dating her mom for a week it creeped me out because the new boyfriend's ex claimed the boyfriend had molested her daughters. Of course I asked the neighbor to protect my identity, but he slipped up. The ex wife called me in a rage. I ignored it all and 4 months later she didn't date him anymore...I didn't ask and they didn't tell, but I felt better "making the call".