The death of my mother

[Shannon&Fuad]

I live in Iowa

My brother and I believe that our mother's death may not have been an accident, but planned.
My mother was abused both physically and emotionally by her husband Lynn. 7 months before my mother's death, Lynn requested a $5,000 check from our great grandmother in order to put a down payment for a home, but we just found out that the man that Lynn stated he was purchasing the home from, did not actually own the home until a month before our mother's death and Lynn nor our mom was or is a title holder for the home. Our mother died in 1995 of a motorcycle accident and Lynn, the driver of the motorcycle was not injured in the accident. A month after our mother passed away, Lynn began the process of putting us into a foster home, but our grandmother found out about what he had planned and filed for gaurdianship of us. My brother and I called Lynn all the time about giving us some of our mother's belongings and he refused. My grandmother took him to court and he said that he was going to dig up our mother and burry her somewhere where we could not find her. Also, my aunt works in a bar and Lynn did not know her at the time, but he was there and was really drunk and my aunt caught him saying that my mother was a bitch and that he used her for all she was worth and he was handing out my mother's death money to everyone in the bar. So, since Lynn does not own the house and is not listed as a title holder, can my brother and I go there and take what is left of my mother's and ours, after almost 7 years? PLEASE HELP ME! The only thing that we got of our mother's is the pictures that our family had taken of her and her funeral book that I had to beg Lynn for and after 6 years he finally gave to me because I painted #%@# off etc. on his new truck. My grandma is going to bring the accident reports and the copy of the checks that she wrote to my mother and Lynn and some other things about my mother almost being murdered in a bar one night with Lynn. PLEASE HELP! THANK YOU, Shannon [email protected]
In Loving Memory of Michelle Ginther!

 

[Beth Pouncey]

I'm not sure who has legal possesion of the items, but why don't you take him to small claims court over the issue? If you can back up all of the things you said in your post, it seems to me you would have one hell of a case. Another suggestion: Maybe you should post in the small claims court section...perhaps you may get more definite answers.

 

[Shannon&Fuad]

No, I have posted in the Small Claims category many of times and I received no responses, pertaining to the issue with Bobbi Jo. I know for a fact that if and when I were to file a Small Claims judgment against Lynn, my mother's husband, I would in fact win the judgment and either receive our mother's property or be reimbursed for the property. I would love so much to just beable to wear a shirt that my mother loved and that was her favorite or wear her favorite piece of jewlery! Lynn robbed both me and my little brothers of many things concerning our mother and it is not fair, how could anyone be so cold hearted? Well, I will file the claim, I don't know when, but I will for sure. Thank you so much! Shannon

 

[knorris]

I don't have much legal advice for you, just wanted to tell you're storey touched me. you should contact a lawyer and find out what can be done and I would not wait, if it's already been this long I am not sure about this but I do know that you could run into statue of limitations if you wait to long, My prayers are with you and always remember that no matter what personal belongings you have been denied you have one thing of your mother's noone can ever take from you and that is your MEMORIES.. God bless you and your brothers and best of luck. Kathie

 

[Shannon&Fuad]

Yes, my mother and I had a beautiful relationship, from the day that I was born to the day that she "fell in love" with Lynn. The memories that I have of my mother are only those from my childhood, before I was even 10 years old and seeing my mother lying deceased in her coffin. Through my mother's and Lynn's relationship, not a day past without Lynn abusing her and there were only acouple of days that past that I was not there to be by her side and comfort her. One day, I was at a relatives house and I was being "jumped" by many other girls at the same time that my mother was being "jumped" by Lynn, and I blammed myself for not being there for her and I thought that maybe if I was there, it would have been prevented. Another day, I was at a friend's house up the street and I was on the patio smoking a cigerette and I looked over my shoulder to see my mother lying on the lawn chair with a black eye and a nose dripping with blood. And another day, Lynn slammed my mother's head against the curb and broke her head open and then dragged her into the house and began to kick her in between her legs, she passed out and my brother picked up the phone to call the ambulance and Lynn grabbed the phone out of his hand and threw it up against the wall, she could have died that night, and at that point, I really did believe that heaven may have been the best and most safest place for her. My mother died in a motorcycle accident and was thrown from the motorcycle, but during her autopsy, there were many bruises that could not be explained or linked to the accident and it kills me to know that my mother died with abusive bruises on her body. The night of the accident, the DOC allowed our friends and family members to view the body and I chose to see my mom for the last time and I leaned over her, said a prayer and kissed her for an hour all up and down her body! During the funeral while I was again "viewing" her, I put a note that I wrote to her and my ring that she had given to me a child in the coffin with her. And, I was so angry at the people who did her make up, they caked it on her face, and she never ever wore heavy make up, I really think that they could have had more respect or done their "job" better. About a month after my mother's funeral, my grandmother came and took us out of school and took us to the court house because Lynn began the process of putting us in a foster home, so my grandmother filed and received custody of us kids. About a year had passed and I began contacting Lynn to get some of my mother's belongings and you know the first thing that he ever gave to me? Was the scratched up watch and the bloody leater shoes that my mother was wearing when she died in the accident and of course, I didn't understand nor did I care at the time, because it was my mom's. About five years later I contacted him once again and I finally begged him into giving me my mother's funeral book and the funeral book had not been filled in and I decided that I would let it be and not fill it in because that is how it was left at the funeral. With the funeral book, Lynn gave me my mother's favorite sweat shirt, her Harley Davidson sweat shirt that me and my brother's pitched money in to buy her for Christmas that year, and we have pictures of her sitting at christmas wearing the sweater. I wear the sweater every now and then, but I don't ever want to wash it, because I believe that my mother's scent is still on the sweater and I want to remember her scent for as long as I shall live. God, if she were only here now, the things that I would say to her, the things that I would do to her. And, she was so strong too, I just don't understand how a simple fall on the ground could have taken her life, and I will prob. never understand. Well, I could go on and on, but I am in tears as it is, so thank you so much for listening to me, I really enjoyed having someone to talk to. THANK YOU! Shannon

 

[knorris]

Shannon,
I myself lived through years of abuse, first I, just like you saw my mother beating day after day by my stepfather. and there were so many days that I would go to bed and wonder if my mother would still be alive in the morning. I can remember being 8,9,10 y/o and me and my sisters jumping on my stepdads back trying to get him off my mom. god what a horrible life some of us go through as children. I am so sorry that you lost your mom, I was lucky that one day I when I was in the 7 th grade I went to school and half way through the day my mom and uncle came and picked me up and we never went back to the house we lived in . it was one of the best days of my life because I knew we would never have to live the horror of living with an abuser again. or so I thought because I found out that abuse is a cycle I got married to what I believed was a wonderful man but only turned out to an abuser himself and I lived 6 years in that situation before I knew there was more to life than getting the hell beat out of me everyday, so it is very important to me that you also break your cycle of violence and never allow yourself to be in your mothers shoes. I am so sorry you have to live without your mom. I do still have my mom but I lost my grandmother 4 years ago and that was so heartbreaking to me, my granny was were we went when we left that day and she was the one who gave my mom the strength to raise us and she was a secound mother to me, I miss her everyday, you say you have a sweatshirt that you don't want to wash because it smells like your mom, I also have a favorite smell that makes me feel like my granny is right here with me and it a perfume she wore for as long as I can remember so I bought a bottle of it and wear it everyday myself. I wish there was something I could tell you that would make all your going through better. but honestly there's not all I can say is that you are not alone and I will always keep you and your brothers in my thought and prayers and do your best in life I have no doubt that is what your mom would want you to do and remember though she is no longer with you physicly she will always be with you, here is my e-mail knorris72142@yahoo,com If you would like to stay in touch I'd be happy to talk to you but do not want to tie up this site with long messages. Kathie

 

[Shannon&Fuad]

Thanks Kathie, I really appreciate all the support that you have provided to me. I have added you to my Yahoo! Messenger Buddy List, so feel free to IM me anytime. Always, Shannon

 

[knorris]

Shannon

I will do that, and also I would like to tell you that I know you have a grest deal of pain from your past that you have to line with, try to focus on your future and make it as bright and successful as your mom would have want it to be, best to you, Kathie

 

[Shannon&Fuad]

I have created a beautiful life for myself, that I know my mother would be very proud of. I have been with my fiance, Fuad, for four years now, and although we do not have any children as of yet, we plan to have many children in the future and be married.
I am a CNA and will soon be taking classes for CMA. I plan to be a CMA/CNA for many years and then take classes to become an RN. I plan to be an RN in the Newborn Nersery and deliver babies, because the birth of a child is the most incredible miracle and I would like to be a part of each. I also plan to open my own buisness, an animal shelter for the abused/unwanted animals. My fiance has a passion for fish, so we also would like to open a fish store. We have so many plans for our future and we really are working hard to accomplish them. Well, I will talk with you later, thanks. Shannon