What is the name of your state? California
This question is about a very old problem, and I have asked about it here before, but I need to know something so here I am once again.
In 1989, after a long argument about my wife's alcoholism, my wife left with my 3 year old son. I have not seen him since. It was as if she just fell off the face of the Earth. She just disappeared. At first I tried to find him, but as time went by I was running out of ideas and money, so I resigned myself to the fact that I would not find him, until he found me. And I made sure that was possible, always listing myself in the phone book, updating my driver's license every time I moved, listing myself on websites like www.switchboard.com and www.usa.com, etc.
Well, 16 years has gone by now, and after all that time, the long awaited letter showed up today. My Son wrote to me through the Social Security Administration and wants to know who I am, and where I have been all these years. At first I was just in shock. I couldn't believe it finally happened.
But as the day wore on I started to think about some things I know may make you think I'm cold hearted, but I really do need to consider them. In 1988 I was ordered to pay $108.00 a month (18% of my income at the time) as Child Support. I would have been more than happy to pay it. However, after my wife disappeared in 1989, I had no idea where to pay it to.
In 1990 I called the District Attorneys office in Alameda County, California and spoke to one of their Family Support Officers and explained the situation. I was told that she had kidnapped him as defined in federal and state parental kidnapping laws, and that since I had no idea where she was, that I couldn't very well be held responsible for that. She had commited a crime, not me. However, while they were saying she had commited a crime, they did nothing about it.
I tried everything I could to get them to try and find my Son. I spent hours at the Law Library, and every time I came up with something, nothing ever became of it. There was always some reason why I couldn't do anything. Some rule of law, some legal standard I didn't meet, some counties won't call other counties, I didn't have enough money... It was always something. And I felt let down by the system. So as I said before, I resigned myself to the fact that I had to wait for him to contact me.
Even in 1989 dollars, $108.00 a month wasn't much and I would have and could have paid it at the time. But since I never knew where to send it, it was never paid. My wife and I got back together for a short time after the Court Hearing in 1988 so technically I would assume I wouldn't be having to worry about the time from August 1988 to September 1989, but the rest of the time adds up to $20,736.00. Not including any interest anyone might attach to it.
I am disabled and living on Social Security, which is very limited. And I certainly don't have $20,736.00 plus interest. So I have two main questions, and please don't think I am cold hearted for asking them...
Can my wife that I haven't seen in 16 years, whom I have never been able to get a divorce from or pay Child Support to because I don't know where she is, take me to Court for back payments of Child Support? And if so, can anyone take my Social Security, which is all I have to take?
Don't get me wrong, I have missed my Son dearly all these years. And I want to contact him and tell him I do exist, and that I do love him and have thought of him almost every single day. But I am getting old, I am disabled, and I have nothing to offer him other than a Father's love and moral support. I can not afford to lose my Social Security. I am already barely able to get by as it is.
What should I do? Should I go see a Lawyer? Where do I stand here? I'm confused about the possible problems in this situation.
Thanks for letting me vent my frustration, if nothing else...
Tim
This question is about a very old problem, and I have asked about it here before, but I need to know something so here I am once again.
In 1989, after a long argument about my wife's alcoholism, my wife left with my 3 year old son. I have not seen him since. It was as if she just fell off the face of the Earth. She just disappeared. At first I tried to find him, but as time went by I was running out of ideas and money, so I resigned myself to the fact that I would not find him, until he found me. And I made sure that was possible, always listing myself in the phone book, updating my driver's license every time I moved, listing myself on websites like www.switchboard.com and www.usa.com, etc.
Well, 16 years has gone by now, and after all that time, the long awaited letter showed up today. My Son wrote to me through the Social Security Administration and wants to know who I am, and where I have been all these years. At first I was just in shock. I couldn't believe it finally happened.
But as the day wore on I started to think about some things I know may make you think I'm cold hearted, but I really do need to consider them. In 1988 I was ordered to pay $108.00 a month (18% of my income at the time) as Child Support. I would have been more than happy to pay it. However, after my wife disappeared in 1989, I had no idea where to pay it to.
In 1990 I called the District Attorneys office in Alameda County, California and spoke to one of their Family Support Officers and explained the situation. I was told that she had kidnapped him as defined in federal and state parental kidnapping laws, and that since I had no idea where she was, that I couldn't very well be held responsible for that. She had commited a crime, not me. However, while they were saying she had commited a crime, they did nothing about it.
I tried everything I could to get them to try and find my Son. I spent hours at the Law Library, and every time I came up with something, nothing ever became of it. There was always some reason why I couldn't do anything. Some rule of law, some legal standard I didn't meet, some counties won't call other counties, I didn't have enough money... It was always something. And I felt let down by the system. So as I said before, I resigned myself to the fact that I had to wait for him to contact me.
Even in 1989 dollars, $108.00 a month wasn't much and I would have and could have paid it at the time. But since I never knew where to send it, it was never paid. My wife and I got back together for a short time after the Court Hearing in 1988 so technically I would assume I wouldn't be having to worry about the time from August 1988 to September 1989, but the rest of the time adds up to $20,736.00. Not including any interest anyone might attach to it.
I am disabled and living on Social Security, which is very limited. And I certainly don't have $20,736.00 plus interest. So I have two main questions, and please don't think I am cold hearted for asking them...
Can my wife that I haven't seen in 16 years, whom I have never been able to get a divorce from or pay Child Support to because I don't know where she is, take me to Court for back payments of Child Support? And if so, can anyone take my Social Security, which is all I have to take?
Don't get me wrong, I have missed my Son dearly all these years. And I want to contact him and tell him I do exist, and that I do love him and have thought of him almost every single day. But I am getting old, I am disabled, and I have nothing to offer him other than a Father's love and moral support. I can not afford to lose my Social Security. I am already barely able to get by as it is.
What should I do? Should I go see a Lawyer? Where do I stand here? I'm confused about the possible problems in this situation.
Thanks for letting me vent my frustration, if nothing else...
Tim
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