third party and school info access

[kellymarie]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? MD
Hello,
I have joint physical/legal custody of my son (8yrs old). Last year, my exhusband has gave signed permission (without my consent) for a third party (his girlfriend) to have access to recieving and giving any communications/info with our son's school.

The school's representative has stated that in joint custody situations, either parent can appoint a third party to give/get information, regardless of one parent disagreeing.

I had a lawyer send my ex a letter informing him of my non consent and that third parties shouldn't be permitted. It fell on deaf ears ("this letter is a pile of crap")

I recently got a new lawyer, who is in the process of sending yet another letter to him and the school.

My question is , what is the law regarding third parties and schools? (The third party continues to make meetings, send emails, and hand in paperwork to the school without my knowledge or consent.)
Thank you in advace for your time and advice.
~kelly

 

[Ohiogal]

He has just as much right as you do to give permission to third parties. While it is ridiculous that the girlfriend is that involved -- possibly over involved -- are you included in the meetings made? Are you informed of them? Does she attend or does dad attend the meetings made?
What does your court order state regarding being able to appoint POAs or allowing others to pick up the child or giving permission to others to participate? Is girlfriend doing anything else to signify her overstepping? Does girlfriend live with dad and child? Does child call her mom?
What is the content of the emails -- i.e. junior is out sick today or junior needs to be enrolled in a special education class as I (girlfriend) believe that he requires an IEP and teacher's aide.

 

[kellymarie]

Yes, she is VERY overinvolved...

I am usually included. The first time that I wasn't, when I found out about it, we ended up in mediation to make sure it didn't happen again. He assured me it wouldn't, and it was written into our parenting plan. Since that time, it has happened numerous times again. Yes, she usually does attend the meetings.


Sorry, I don't know what POA means...but as to allowing others to pick up child or giving permission--it doesn't say anything about that. I don't mind if she picks up if he can't. I do mind if she participates though (in school communication). Yes, girlfriend lives with dad/child and "when we get married he will call me step mom because I took your place in the home"...

Her emails are more than just the "out sick today" type of thing...they are pretty lengthy (a page or two) and talk about how they should or shouldn't do certain things related to our son's IEP (son is Autistic). It is definately more than just simple communication going on.

We are actually going back to mediation again based on the girlfriend doing things like this on a routine basis. I would love to parent with myself and my son's dad, but we've got a third wheel here. I don't mind if her involvement in his life..I think it's great to have as many people love our son as possible--But I draw the line at her over involvement for school and medical.
Thanks again for help!

 

[Ohiogal]

Yes, she is VERY overinvolved...

I am usually included. The first time that I wasn't, when I found out about it, we ended up in mediation to make sure it didn't happen again. He assured me it wouldn't, and it was written into our parenting plan. Since that time, it has happened numerous times again. Yes, she usually does attend the meetings.


Sorry, I don't know what POA means...but as to allowing others to pick up child or giving permission--it doesn't say anything about that. I don't mind if she picks up if he can't. I do mind if she participates though (in school communication). Yes, girlfriend lives with dad/child and "when we get married he will call me step mom because I took your place in the home"...

Her emails are more than just the "out sick today" type of thing...they are pretty lengthy (a page or two) and talk about how they should or shouldn't do certain things related to our son's IEP (son is Autistic). It is definately more than just simple communication going on.

We are actually going back to mediation again based on the girlfriend doing things like this on a routine basis. I would love to parent with myself and my son's dad, but we've got a third wheel here. I don't mind if her involvement in his life..I think it's great to have as many people love our son as possible--But I draw the line at her over involvement for school and medical.
Thanks again for help!

You need to petition for a restraining order to be placed in your parenting plan PROHIBITING girlfriend from over involving herself. Also make sure that the school is NOT taking her input when it comes to the IEP. She has NO LEGAL authority to make any decisions regarding your son. This is a custody issue more so than an education issue. Post more about your issue in the custody section and you will receive more responses.

 

[kellymarie]

Thank you for the advice! I will definately seek the restraining order on this. I'll post over in the custody section too. Thank you for your help.