Thread Closed

[3junebugs]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/major-flooding-travel-route-ncps-house-561131-p3.html

Why was it closed?

Anyway. Yes I have a copy of the paperwork my lawyer emailed me. My lawyer is also in Philadelphia BTW. Yes my brother had a copy that he was giving to his friend to serve since he cannot. My lawyer said it didn't have to be an original so I emailed my brother the same copy I got from the lawyer. He printed it out. Yes it was a set up to get him served. Isn't it always??? I don't have any other way to get him served unless I pay for a server. Which I will be doing now.

It was NOT a set up to get out of sending him. I have consistently sent him for the last 6 years while dad has consistently NOT held up his end of the order to come and meet me to get his son as ordered. I have already learned my lesson that playing the card of "I can't come this week" cannot be used unless it's necessary. My lawyer and I felt it was necessary. I rarely not send him, even if there is snow. If it's not a blizzard, we go. If there is no SOE declared, we go. If it's not a hurricane, we go.

Other then when I had a broken foot and had no alternative means of transport (I had a doctors order to NOT drive at all and my husband was in Iraq), there may have been 3 times in 6 years we didn't go. One was when I was in pre-term labor. Another was when there was a blizzard and another when my son had bronchitis which flared his asthma and his doc said no travel. Maybe one other time I can't remember why. There are going to be circumstances that we just can't make the trip.

 

[TxPE2011]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? PA

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/major-flooding-travel-route-ncps-house-561131-p3.html

Why was it closed?

Anyway. Yes I have a copy of the paperwork my lawyer emailed me. My lawyer is also in Philadelphia BTW. Yes my brother had a copy that he was giving to his friend to serve since he cannot. My lawyer said it didn't have to be an original so I emailed my brother the same copy I got from the lawyer. He printed it out. Yes it was a set up to get him served. Isn't it always??? I don't have any other way to get him served unless I pay for a server. Which I will be doing now.

It was NOT a set up to get out of sending him. I have consistently sent him for the last 6 years while dad has consistently NOT held up his end of the order to come and meet me to get his son as ordered. I have already learned my lesson that playing the card of "I can't come this week" cannot be used unless it's necessary. My lawyer and I felt it was necessary. I rarely not send him, even if there is snow. If it's not a blizzard, we go. If there is no SOE declared, we go. If it's not a hurricane, we go.

Other then when I had a broken foot and had no alternative means of transport (I had a doctors order to NOT drive at all and my husband was in Iraq), there may have been 3 times in 6 years we didn't go. One was when I was in pre-term labor. Another was when there was a blizzard and another when my son had bronchitis which flared his asthma and his doc said no travel. Maybe one other time I can't remember why. There are going to be circumstances that we just can't make the trip.

If you didn't close it, then it was closed by a moderator. It was getting kind of out of hand.

The only comment I have is that serving Dad after you dropped off your son, would have been crappy. Do you know how it feels to be served? Or to have brothers of your ex confront you. Two of them, one of you? I think sending your son into a situation where dad can't actually enjoy his weekend because he was served with papers to appear in court for contempt or whatever was irresponsible. I HAVE been in that position and it sucks and I bet my daughter was terrified as I was. And then it's the weekend and there is nothing you can do, no lawyer's office open to explain to you what just happened etc. Having him served at the same time as you dropping off your son, kinda crappy.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

Sometimes though, you have to do what you have to do.

 

[CJane]

I bet my daughter was terrified as I was. And then it's the weekend and there is nothing you can do, no lawyer's office open to explain to you what just happened etc. Having him served at the same time as you dropping off your son, kinda crappy.

Don't you think that's a LITTLE BIT overly dramatic? "Terrified" because you were served with court papers?

Sometimes, the ONLY time you know FOR SURE that there will be an adult in the house is when you drop off/pick up the kids. And you have to take the opportunity to serve the other party.

 

[>Charlotte<]

Don't you think that's a LITTLE BIT overly dramatic? "Terrified" because you were served with court papers?

And a parent certainly has control over whether a child would even know what the service was for, and thus be "terrified". Nothing scary about a man handing your dad some papers, until Dad goes to DEFCON 1.

 

[stealth2]

I don,t think it's dramatic to say that serving a parent at the start of his/her visitation will cast a pall on the time together and also keep the parent's mind somewhat distracted. It's kind of cruddy to pull something like that.

 

[Rushia]

Try being served contempt papers with a 4 day old in your arms. He showed up with flowers and the papers behind his back. Not that he fooled me for an instant. I said to him "Aww, look, flowers with my contempt papers!" Took the papers and my flowers and shut the door in his face. I think he felt worse than I did.

 

[CJane]

I don,t think it's dramatic to say that serving a parent at the start of his/her visitation will cast a pall on the time together and also keep the parent's mind somewhat distracted. It's kind of cruddy to pull something like that.

If you use a private server, you have no control over when someone is served. Same if you use the sheriff's department.

I've been served while loading camping equipment into the car with the kids, called by DFS while at the zoo with the kids - daughter answered the phone and got to hear "This is deputy XXX calling for your mom". I've been served in the ex's driveway when I was picking up the kids. The deputy tried to serve me at home when my oldest was home alone.

Not once have my kids been "terrified" and not once has it ruined my time with them or "cast a pall". Maybe I'm just more of an emotional control freak than others, but the ex has no ability to affect my daily life or reactions anymore. None.

 

[stealth2]

Yeah, but OP DID have a choice when her Dad & brother were going to try serving him. Sorry, but I think it was a sleazy move.

 

[CJane]

Yeah, but OP DID have a choice when her Dad & brother were going to try serving him. Sorry, but I think it was a sleazy move.

And that's fine. Personally speaking, I don't think it was the BEST idea in the world. Legally speaking? No big.

 

[TxPE2011]

If you use a private server, you have no control over when someone is served. Same if you use the sheriff's department.

I've been served while loading camping equipment into the car with the kids, called by DFS while at the zoo with the kids - daughter answered the phone and got to hear "This is deputy XXX calling for your mom". I've been served in the ex's driveway when I was picking up the kids. The deputy tried to serve me at home when my oldest was home alone.

Not once have my kids been "terrified" and not once has it ruined my time with them or "cast a pall". Maybe I'm just more of an emotional control freak than others, but the ex has no ability to affect my daily life or reactions anymore. None.

I agree it's overly dramatic to say 'terrified'if it's done in a quiet manner. I had no idea I was being served for anything. I was followed, my car was blocked in and a man got out and proceeded to bang on my car window... That was terrifying for me.

I was served last week and the process server was very nice. She came to my job, called me on my desk phone, told me who she was and what she was doing and did I want to come out to the parking lot instead of her coming inside in front of my co-workers. That was very kind of her. I was also served at home once while loading my car for vacation. Very simple and polite but yes, my vacation was a tad bit distracted by it. Not knowin what was going on, not able to contact my lawyer for two days. It was crappy but as someone else said it's sometimes the only way if you can't track the person down.