To Legally Seperate & International Law w/custody issues

[usa/rican/lapaz]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLA

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. There has been infidelity issues with her and another man since last April, although she says she has ended it with him in August. I believe the affair is still ongoing, her "former boyfriend" has been harassing me at work and has been calling me from restricted numbers saying he's going to "put a bullet in my head", and that's been within the last 2 weeks.

Neither one of us want a divorce (at this time) because there are a lot of things that I believe therapy could help us work through with issues we've had over the last 10 years of marriage.

I have left our home for over a week to stay with friend's that isn't far from our home that we reside in with the children.

My wife has a very ill mother (breast cancer) in Costa Rica that she would like to stay with to help her through the masectomy, chemo, etc. She wants to take the children with her. I think the children being around would help my wife, and her mother through this hard time. However, I have concerns that she may try to establish residency in Costa Rica while there.

I don't know what will happen while she's in Costa Rica. I honestly don't know what's going though her mind at this time with regard to anything, other than I suspect she's stringing me along because of the security I provide her.

Would legal seperation help at this time with her leaving the country in order to keep the case here in Florida should she try to keep the kids in Costa Rica?

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLA

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. There has been infidelity issues with her and another man since last April, although she says she has ended it with him in August. I believe the affair is still ongoing, her "former boyfriend" has been harassing me at work and has been calling me from restricted numbers saying he's going to "put a bullet in my head", and that's been within the last 2 weeks.

Neither one of us want a divorce (at this time) because there are a lot of things that I believe therapy could help us work through with issues we've had over the last 10 years of marriage.

I have left our home for over a week to stay with friend's that isn't far from our home that we reside in with the children.

My wife has a very ill mother (breast cancer) in Costa Rica that she would like to stay with to help her through the masectomy, chemo, etc. She wants to take the children with her. I think the children being around would help my wife, and her mother through this hard time. However, I have concerns that she may try to establish residency in Costa Rica while there.

I don't know what will happen while she's in Costa Rica. I honestly don't know what's going though her mind at this time with regard to anything, other than I suspect she's stringing me along because of the security I provide her.

Would legal seperation help at this time with her leaving the country in order to keep the case here in Florida should she try to keep the kids in Costa Rica?

Costa Rica is a signatory to the Hague Convention and therefore the US (specifically Florida) would have jurisdiction over child custody matters until the children have been residents in Costa Rica for a full two years. Therefore you don't really have to worry about her trying to establish residency in the short term, because it would not do her any good. And realistically do you believe that she would WANT to remain in Costa Rica?..that is something that only you would know, since we know nothing about your wife.

You can certainly file to restrain her from taking your children to Costa Rica if you decide that is the most wise thing to do. However, I am also impressed with your caring attitude that having the grandchildren present would be helpful to the adults. Again, that is a decision that you need to make based on your knowledge of your wife. Obviously the guy that you feel she is having an affair with isn't likely to join her in Costa Rica, is he?

 

[usa/rican/lapaz]

She's unstable

Costa Rica is a signatory to the Hague Convention and therefore the US (specifically Florida) would have jurisdiction over child custody matters until the children have been residents in Costa Rica for a full two years. Therefore you don't really have to worry about her trying to establish residency in the short term, because it would not do her any good. And realistically do you believe that she would WANT to remain in Costa Rica?..that is something that only you would know, since we know nothing about your wife.

You can certainly file to restrain her from taking your children to Costa Rica if you decide that is the most wise thing to do. However, I am also impressed with your caring attitude that having the grandchildren present would be helpful to the adults. Again, that is a decision that you need to make based on your knowledge of your wife. Obviously the guy that you feel she is having an affair with isn't likely to join her in Costa Rica, is he?

I don't believe she would want to remain in Costa Rica. I don't think the "boyfriend" would join her there, however I don't know what's ongoing between them either anymore. He tried to blackmail me (August) with pictures and videos of the two of them together because he wanted to defame her to mine and her families for $10k, I don't know if that was money for them to run away and start a new life together or leave her in the dust with the chaos and give him a fresh start.

I do believe she is very lost right now with everything going on between us, her mother, "the boyfriend", financial issues and total confusion. I think legal seperation would be a great trial run before ending it forever with divorce, we have children and international law issues.

So is there any type of mediation/LEGAL seperation in FL that can let us go our seperate ways because the word "divorce" keeps getting thrown up in the heat of the moment and it's not the end solution to the problem because we have children, a 10 year marriage with long term deep seated issues, and I don't want us to start a pissing-match fueled by passion only because we can both be stubborn.

 

[Proserpina]

Costa Rica is a signatory to the Hague Convention and therefore the US (specifically Florida) would have jurisdiction over child custody matters until the children have been residents in Costa Rica for a full two years. Therefore you don't really have to worry about her trying to establish residency in the short term, because it would not do her any good. And realistically do you believe that she would WANT to remain in Costa Rica?..that is something that only you would know, since we know nothing about your wife.

You can certainly file to restrain her from taking your children to Costa Rica if you decide that is the most wise thing to do. However, I am also impressed with your caring attitude that having the grandchildren present would be helpful to the adults. Again, that is a decision that you need to make based on your knowledge of your wife. Obviously the guy that you feel she is having an affair with isn't likely to join her in Costa Rica, is he?

L, I don't want to argue, but it's been shown a few times that in some cases there's absolutely no set "time" requirement. Have you looked at Costa Rica specifically?

 

[Ohiogal]

Do NOT let your wife take the children to Costa Rica unless there are court orders for custody in place through Florida courts -- which may mean filing for divorce in order to get custody orders. If your wife wants to go to Costa Rica, the children should stay here. OR mom should come here.

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? FLA

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. There has been infidelity issues with her and another man since last April, although she says she has ended it with him in August. I believe the affair is still ongoing, her "former boyfriend" has been harassing me at work and has been calling me from restricted numbers saying he's going to "put a bullet in my head", and that's been within the last 2 weeks.

Neither one of us want a divorce (at this time) because there are a lot of things that I believe therapy could help us work through with issues we've had over the last 10 years of marriage.

I have left our home for over a week to stay with friend's that isn't far from our home that we reside in with the children.

My wife has a very ill mother (breast cancer) in Costa Rica that she would like to stay with to help her through the masectomy, chemo, etc. She wants to take the children with her. I think the children being around would help my wife, and her mother through this hard time. However, I have concerns that she may try to establish residency in Costa Rica while there.

I don't know what will happen while she's in Costa Rica. I honestly don't know what's going though her mind at this time with regard to anything, other than I suspect she's stringing me along because of the security I provide her.

Would legal seperation help at this time with her leaving the country in order to keep the case here in Florida should she try to keep the kids in Costa Rica?

All the therapy available on earth won't remove a bullet from your head. She chose to bring a gutter dweller into your marriage who threatens to kill you and you're concerned about her sick mother??

You are on the path to an eventual divorce. Divorce her NOW.

 

[LdiJ]

L, I don't want to argue, but it's been shown a few times that in some cases there's absolutely no set "time" requirement. Have you looked at Costa Rica specifically?

I honestly do not recall hearing that before, but perhaps I have just forgotten. Or perhaps I am confused? I know that not all countries have signed all parts of the Hague Convention, but it does appears that Costa Rica has signed all parts regarding children.

But the various parts regarding children are not variable...every country who has signed a particular part signed the same thing.