Transfer of custody question

[daddenied]

What is the name of your state? CA

I've posted in this same forum, but was advised to post separate issues separately. I still consider myself new at this technology. I am going to court next Friday to modify my divorce decree re: child support/visitation and custody. My ex-wife has recently served me with a reply that shocked me stating she is asking the courts that if she ever became too ill to care for our children (we share joint legal and physical custody...she is custodial parent and lives 4 hours away from me) or if she passes on unexpectedly that I will sign all necessary paperwork to give custody to either her sister or her mother and that I not automatically get my children. It was unbelievable! It confirmed to me that her only agenda and reason for all of this madness is because she hates that I have moved on from our divorce which occurred almost 3 years ago and that I have actually been seriously involved for the last year and that she never wants our children a part of my and my possible future wife's life. Will the courts do this even if I share joint legal and physical custody? This gets better...she goes on to ask the courts to order me to get a new life insurance policy for at least $300,000 and name her sister or her mom as the beneficiary since they will be the newly appointed legal guardian and that I continue to pay child support to them. Please help me understand how the courts work. I have run out of money and have less then $300 left with my attorney who is requiring another $2000 to represent me in court on July 1st.

 

[George1620]

What is the name of your state? CA

I've posted in this same forum, but was advised to post separate issues separately. I still consider myself new at this technology. I am going to court next Friday to modify my divorce decree re: child support/visitation and custody. My ex-wife has recently served me with a reply that shocked me stating she is asking the courts that if she ever became too ill to care for our children (we share joint legal and physical custody...she is custodial parent and lives 4 hours away from me) or if she passes on unexpectedly that I will sign all necessary paperwork to give custody to either her sister or her mother and that I not automatically get my children. It was unbelievable! It confirmed to me that her only agenda and reason for all of this madness is because she hates that I have moved on from our divorce which occurred almost 3 years ago and that I have actually been seriously involved for the last year and that she never wants our children a part of my and my possible future wife's life. Will the courts do this even if I share joint legal and physical custody? This gets better...she goes on to ask the courts to order me to get a new life insurance policy for at least $300,000 and name her sister or her mom as the beneficiary since they will be the newly appointed legal guardian and that I continue to pay child support to them. Please help me understand how the courts work. I have run out of money and have less then $300 left with my attorney who is requiring another $2000 to represent me in court on July 1st.

you dont have to sign anything...I think the women sounds crazy if you have joint you obviously are capable of taking care of your own children.

 

[NVdad]

Pro se?

I think that IF YOU CAN GET SOME COMPETENT ADVICE from an attorney first, you could proceed to represent yourself in this. You could have an attorney give you advice as needed, (they will charge an hourly rate to consult) but do all the paperwork and go to court to represent yourself. It's $100 - $300 /hr+ to pay for a paralegal or lawyer to fill out paperwork you can do yourself, but advice from an attorney is money well spent. Be prepared to spend some time and effort, but I have been able to represent myself competently for years in most issues. Just never forget that "CONSULT AN ATTORNEY" part!

I can't see any sane judge letting this happen without your consent. Having JOINT legal custody, you are in a good position I think. You know, compromise could go a long way here. You might refuse all her "nonsense" requests, but agree to carry a smaller policy with the CHILD as beneficiary. And then you should tell her SHE NEEDS TO DO THE SAME! You might want to also work out an agreement with her about what happens to the child if BOTH parents die. In fact, that is something you should have done already.