TRO, never notified/served

[novembersea]

What is the name of your state?CA

My husbands ex wife (been 14 years divorced) is a meth user. She has taken him back to court 3 times in 12 months to get more support. The last time she did not get it raised, she started using the DV card...all of a sudden out of 14 years he is NOW a DV threat to her, never before. She filed a TRO with juvenile court in Dec. without notice to him lying and brainswashed the kid to lie also. (She was under investigation for Meth, failed drug test, had court, they dropped charges) To make a long story short, she said she would get him at 0% custody and then get more money. The kid is 15, and has not rules so does not want to see dad since he has basic rules.

They moved in January, never left a forwarding address. Of course this is all in her plan to say she moved in FEAR< which is BS. There has never been a police officer called, even for something false. He has a guard card through the FBI, and he has never even spanked his son. What do you do when someone lies about you?

The other question is, I did a Riverside county search with her name last night, and found that she filed ANOTHER TRO,custody, visitation in Feb, and he never knew about it! He doesn't know what to do, and either do I.

Can he file some type of paperwork saying she is abusing the system, cause she gets to file for free, and purposely not notifying him? It said he no showed on the mediation, no duh, he didnt' know about it! Then the actual date said off calendar because no show on either party. The point is the two TRO's are making him look really bad, of course this is what she wants.

She just filed more paperwork through DCSS to get more money again on March 24th. Of course, no address. I know she is in contempt for that, BUT, here is the thing...she will lie and say she had to in fear of her life..why do drug addicts do this? I feel sorry for the kid, he is so brainwashed.

I know he needs an attorney, but unfortunately he can't afford one right now, he hurt his knee and is out of work and has no disability. I dont' make enough after the mortgage. sigh, this sucks!

I apologize if this is long and confusing.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Why does this matter to him, or for that matter, you?

If the kid doesn't want to see your husband, then the best thing he can do for himself is give up. He's not going to win.

How long have you been married to him?

IAAL

 

[novembersea]

It's about clearing his name, at this point he does not want to see him because he is afraid of more false allegations.

3.5 years.

I would not put it past her if she slammed her face in the wall and said he did it, and sadly, the kid would say he did. She just wants more money, and she will do anything to get it.

The son even said, If I don't see you then my mom will have more money and I will have more stuff. He is brainwashed, she tells him that, but uses it for drugs. He had more here, but he did not like rules. Mom lives like a scum, has no bed time, and he and she don't bathe there..That gives you a better idea.

He just wants to clear his name, because child support services is who she goes through, he has always paid, but she is going to say he never see's him, I want money for 100% not 70%. He does not want to be punished for their actions, when he always told him his door is open. It's a sick tactic, and just wanted to know how to fight it.

I would rather not have him around either, because we are afraid he will fall on purpose and she will sue. She has had 6 lawsuits in 3 years. She is a wart on society's A$$. I just hate seeing it on record that she filed two TRO's when he did nothing!

I wanted to add, he has never had the opportunity to defend himself, because she never notifies him! No service, I don't know what she is putting on the proof or service, but he has never been served. That is the big issue.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

It's about clearing his name, at this point he does not want to see him because he is afraid of more false allegations.

3.5 years.

I would not put it past her if she slammed her face in the wall and said he did it, and sadly, the kid would say he did. She just wants more money, and she will do anything to get it.

The son even said, If I don't see you then my mom will have more money and I will have more stuff. He is brainwashed, she tells him that, but uses it for drugs. He had more here, but he did not like rules. Mom lives like a scum, has no bed time, and he and she don't bathe there..That gives you a better idea.

He just wants to clear his name, because child support services is who she goes through, he has always paid, but she is going to say he never see's him, I want money for 100% not 70%. He does not want to be punished for their actions, when he always told him his door is open. It's a sick tactic, and just wanted to know how to fight it.

I would rather not have him around either, because we are afraid he will fall on purpose and she will sue. She has had 6 lawsuits in 3 years. She is a wart on society's A$$. I just hate seeing it on record that she filed two TRO's when he did nothing!

I wanted to add, he has never had the opportunity to defend himself, because she never notifies him! No service, I don't know what she is putting on the proof or service, but he has never been served. That is the big issue.

My response:

With only 3.5 years, it's not too late for you. This is the life you've chosen for yourself? For some reason, you don't think you're worth a better life? What's wrong with this picture, and why are you in it?

Oh, well. As long as you stay, this will go on, and on, and on. Some people enjoy the drama. Do you? If not, then you tell him, "Call me when the storm has passed."

IAAL

 

[novembersea]

Well that is not what the question was. Every relationship has it's issues, but I wanted help, not a counseling session and the kid will be 18 in three years. I don't know why some people can't just help with some ligit advice, instead of going off on some tangent that is totally off the mark.

I guess I need to find a forum that has some useful information.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

Well that is not what the question was. Every relationship has it's issues, but I wanted help, not a counseling session and the kid will be 18 in three years. I don't know why some people can't just help with some ligit advice, instead of going off on some tangent that is totally off the mark.

I guess I need to find a forum that has some useful information.

My response:

There's nothing else that can be said. You're admittedly broke, and you have a husband who is disabled, and a 15 year old that hates him, along with an ex-wife that keeps filing against him. Just what the hell did you think we'd be able to do from the Internet for you under such circumstances?

If you're too stupid to "get out of Dodge", when you don't have that many years invested into the marriage, then you deserve everything that's coming to you.

Go get a large bank loan, and hire an attorney.

IAAL


P.S. If you sincerely believe that this drama, or some other ex-wife-caused drama will end when the kid is 18, then boy, oh, boy - - you're a bigger idiot than I ever thought!

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My further comment:

By the way, on another issue - - did you ever get your Internet Explorer to function properly, or are you still using NetScape?

IAAL

 

[novembersea]

Thanks for being rude. Just as I thought, can't answer a simple question on a possible form or motion to file regarding her not following court rules. Have a great weekend.

For the record, your comment on me being stupid, shows your lack of communication skills. Try taking interpersonal communication. I assume you are an educated person, and have taken some sort of college classes?

Have a wonderful weekend, you sound more miserable than anyone I know.

 

[novembersea]

Well yes, you are an attorney, educated it states. Well I guess you have the attitude that you can treat other people as if they are not intelligent.

 

[rmet4nzkx]

At the end on December you were not married? You wrote about a similar situation then? You say you are pre law? You know how to go online and look at the court calendar yet you don't know what to do with a TRO that is not servedo Or how your boyfriend/husband can respond to the tro? He can go down and get a copy and respond, she didn't show up, it was dropped, ever thought of requesting a Guardian ad Litem?

What happened at the dependency hearing in March? Has he filed for modification due to disability? What about drug testing for both parents?

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

you sound more miserable than anyone I know.

My response:

Did you include yourself in that?

For the record, I don't have a druggie ex-wife with a thankless teenager breathing down my neck. So, I'm better off than you. Also, I'm extremely wealthy, so in that regard, I'm a lot better off than you.

IAAL

 

[rmet4nzkx]

Thanks for being rude. Just as I thought, can't answer a simple question on a possible form or motion to file regarding her not following court rules. Have a great weekend.

For the record, your comment on me being stupid, shows your lack of communication skills. Try taking interpersonal communication. I assume you are an educated person, and have taken some sort of college classes?

Have a wonderful weekend, you sound more miserable than anyone I know.

You have already been given links to the forms for California courts, you can also access the rules of court there and also online in Riverside for their local rules, call the FLF office for assistance. I recently talked someone through unscrambling something very difficult, but from what you have said in your previous posts you know it all already.

 

[novembersea]

Yes I know that, this information was just found last night, where the courts are not opened. I came here for some advice BEFORE Monday when the courts opened. Pre-Law is not a law graduate, so NO, I do not know what to file.

That is why I came for help, which seems to not be achieved. I didn't come here to be right, I did not come here for others to be right. This is not about that..I just wanted a heads up before Monday when I call the courts to find out, and or see my professor.

As for being married, I have been with him for 3.5 years total, married for a few months.

The dependency hearing, they threw everything out. He was pissed, because he wanted routine drug testing to continue. Yes he drug tested also, and has never used drugs, that is why their marriage did not last.

DCSS wants to base him on his ability to pay, which after a few weeks he will be back at work.

I am looking for how can you fight back when you are never notified. It appears that she is just building a DV case. I'm just trying to help him clear his name without stooping to her level and lying about instances that do not happen.

I'm always liable, I understand you are very wealthy, I'm happy for you. One day I will be too, but I don't think it's professional of you to talk down to others. Maybe at Standford they teach that, but I have hopes that you have a kinder side, instead of a power play side. Good luck to you in your practice.

Rmet, thank you for the Guardian idea, I actually did not think of it because of the child lying. Sadly, he is very good at it.

He has to report to DCSS and give more financials in 45 days. He will be working after surgery by then, at least light duty; hopefully

 

[rmet4nzkx]

I'm not an attorney, but I have experience in the legal system as an expert witness and doing evaluations. You can learn a lot here if you listen. You have been asking questions for some time and yet you don't seem to be getting anywhere and possibly not listening. Here is a link to all the California codes, look in code of civil procedure, look under "contempt" http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/calaw.html
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov Judicial Council includes rules of court and forms
http://www.courtinfo.ca.gov/forms/ court forms Check with Riverside court Family Law Facilitators office as to what form to use for motions.
If your husband has had no contact, how can she prove domestic violence? Have him go down and get copies of the actual TRO. to attach to the contempt motion.
Has she fail any drug tests? Has there been an EC 730 evaluation? If not, have your husband request one and that the county pay for it. Request the GAL.

 

[novembersea]

Well it I am trying to get her ex roomate, who kicked her out, to do an affidavit. She bribes the kid, then he lies and says yes, my dad is always calling threatening and harassing. The first TRO said that. This last one, I don't know.

That is what I said, how is she going in there with a straight face and lying about him? Well, I guess it's one of the symptoms of a meth user.

The only drug test she failed was through the CPS testing her after he called them on her "wobbling" behavior, talking rapidly, etc.

I will forward this information to him. I have previously went on to the courtinfo site, and must not having been looking correctly, because I found how to "respond" within the 20 days, but not much about the restrained party filing anthing else. I will check out the other site also. Thanks a lot!

You have been helpful, I do listen to advice, even contructive criticism. I just don't think the other person's questions of how long we have been together, or why does it matter, or how stupid I am, can be anything that can help me.