Trying for self representation!

[hubbysososad]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

My husband and his ex-girlfriend had a child together. The child is 4 yrs old. He has been employed until September when he was let go from his job. He was having problems with his back and is soon going to be having back surgery. Well when he was fired from work and couldn't work because of his back problems he got behind in child support. He is ordered to pay $241.00 a month, which was increased to $251.00. He started receiving unemployment compensation and some money was being paid to the mother but not enough. The last time he saw his son was 2 months ago. When he attempts to see his child she says no because he is still beahind in CS. He is currently working but still cannot afford an attorney so he is opting for Pro Se Representation. How do I find out what forms he needs to file without obtaining legal representation? We are desperate but broke!

 

[BelizeBreeze]

What is the name of your state? North Carolina

My husband and his ex-girlfriend had a child together. The child is 4 yrs old. He has been employed until September when he was let go from his job. He was having problems with his back and is soon going to be having back surgery. Well when he was fired from work and couldn't work because of his back problems he got behind in child support. He is ordered to pay $241.00 a month, which was increased to $251.00. He started receiving unemployment compensation and some money was being paid to the mother but not enough. The last time he saw his son was 2 months ago. When he attempts to see his child she says no because he is still beahind in CS. He is currently working but still cannot afford an attorney so he is opting for Pro Se Representation. How do I find out what forms he needs to file without obtaining legal representation? We are desperate but broke!

He needs to visit the court where jurisdiction is held ( the court that issued the original order) and file a show cause for contempt .

 

[hubbysososad]

He needs to visit the court where jurisdiction is held ( the court that issued the original order) and file a show cause for contempt .

In the state of NC, child support and custody are kept completely seperate, for some reason! There has never been a court order for custody because of the costs involved. Here it is $2500.00 just to retain an attorney and of course add $2000.00 more and thats about what it will cost. She always taunts him with every penny that she can get from him in order for him to see his son. But anyway**************...

 

[BelizeBreeze]

In the state of NC, child support and custody are kept completely seperate, for some reason! There has never been a court order for custody because of the costs involved. Here it is $2500.00 just to retain an attorney and of course add $2000.00 more and thats about what it will cost. She always taunts him with every penny that she can get from him in order for him to see his son. But anyway**************...

so, are you telling me there is no visitation ordered and no custody order? Then why is he paying child support?

 

[hubbysososad]

so, are you telling me there is no visitation ordered and no custody order? Then why is he paying child support?

In the state of NC, a person can file for an order for child support and they can do this through local child support enforcement. This is what is ex-gf did. CS and custody are kept seperate in NC. Any mention of custody to a CS worker and they tell you to obtain legal representation. By NC state law, if he does not pay ordered child support, which it comes out of his paycheck, he will be held in non-compliance and will be put into jail. This is why he pays without any visitation. But there is not a legal aid service here that will work with you about custody. So either you have 5 grand to pay for an attorney or either you try at it yourself or you suck it up. We are going to TRY the middle.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

In the state of NC, a person can file for an order for child support and they can do this through local child support enforcement. This is what is ex-gf did. CS and custody are kept seperate in NC. Any mention of custody to a CS worker and they tell you to obtain legal representation. By NC state law, if he does not pay ordered child support, which it comes out of his paycheck, he will be held in non-compliance and will be put into jail. This is why he pays without any visitation. But there is not a legal aid service here that will work with you about custody. So either you have 5 grand to pay for an attorney or either you try at it yourself or you suck it up. We are going to TRY the middle.

contact Legal Aid or North Carolina for a referral.

 

[hubbysososad]

contact Legal Aid or North Carolina for a referral.

Oh we have exhausted that option. They will refer you to attorneys but they charge so much. There are NO PRO BONO attorneys or anything close to it in this area. This is a problem as a whole, no resources. We have tried getting a loan to try and pay for an attorney but all the banks tell us you don't know exactly how much it will cost and an attorney can't tell me exactly either. As a father, since there are and have never been a custody/visitation agreement, does he have any rights? I mean I would think that his right's would be equal. Also she lives with her mom and dad. The child is left with his grandmother most of the time. If my husband went to the home could he take the child if the mother wasn't there? What could some of the consequences be? He is listed on the birth certificate as legal father. Also, if she took him to court would he have a chance to be heard?

 

[ceara19]

In the state of NC, child support and custody are kept completely seperate, for some reason! There has never been a court order for custody because of the costs involved. Here it is $2500.00 just to retain an attorney and of course add $2000.00 more and thats about what it will cost. She always taunts him with every penny that she can get from him in order for him to see his son. But anyway**************...

The reason that they are seperate matters is because custody and support are not dependant upon each other. A parent can't deny visitation just because the other parent is behind in child support and vice versa.

 

[Ohiogal]

The reason that they are seperate matters is because custody and support are not dependant upon each other. A parent can't deny visitation just because the other parent is behind in child support and vice versa.

Actually in this case she can BECAUSE THERE IS NO CUSTODY ORDER! She is not denying dad anything at this point because she is the sole custodian as they were never married. He has no custody rights established. His parental rights are established but not custody.
OP, he needs to file for a visitation order in either juvenile or DR court depending on what court handles unmarried visitation. Once he gets a visitation order established, which unless mom can prove him unfit he would get, then she will not be able to deny him. Until then she doesn't have to let him see the child. If she was allowing it though and stopped when he got behind on child support, the judge will not appreciate that game.

 

[GrowUp!]

Oh we have exhausted that option. They will refer you to attorneys but they charge so much. There are NO PRO BONO attorneys or anything close to it in this area. This is a problem as a whole, no resources. We have tried getting a loan to try and pay for an attorney but all the banks tell us you don't know exactly how much it will cost and an attorney can't tell me exactly either. As a father, since there are and have never been a custody/visitation agreement, does he have any rights? I mean I would think that his right's would be equal. Also she lives with her mom and dad. The child is left with his grandmother most of the time. If my husband went to the home could he take the child if the mother wasn't there? What could some of the consequences be? He is listed on the birth certificate as legal father. Also, if she took him to court would he have a chance to be heard?

What he needs to do is contact the Clerk of Courts in the county where the children live and ask them if they can send you paperwork to establish visitation (what the exact name of the form(s) are called escapes me). You don't need a lawyer do to this type of filing, as it's pretty much a fill-in-the-blank. You will just have to pay a filing fee when you mail it in. Now if you decide to pursue it any further (i.e. custody), then you will need a lawyer.

Just a word of warning: the Clerk of Courts will NOT give you any legal advice.

 

[ceara19]

Actually in this case she can BECAUSE THERE IS NO CUSTODY ORDER! She is not denying dad anything at this point because she is the sole custodian as they were never married. He has no custody rights established. His parental rights are established but not custody.
OP, he needs to file for a visitation order in either juvenile or DR court depending on what court handles unmarried visitation. Once he gets a visitation order established, which unless mom can prove him unfit he would get, then she will not be able to deny him. Until then she doesn't have to let him see the child. If she was allowing it though and stopped when he got behind on child support, the judge will not appreciate that game.

That was exactly my point. Had dad established visitation rights in the beginning, it would have taken the control away from mom and he wouldn't be in this situation.

 

[ceara19]

What he needs to do is contact the Clerk of Courts in the county where the children live and ask them if they can send you paperwork to establish visitation (what the exact name of the form(s) are called escapes me). You don't need a lawyer do to this type of filing, as it's pretty much a fill-in-the-blank. You will just have to pay a filing fee when you mail it in. Now if you decide to pursue it any further (i.e. custody), then you will need a lawyer.

Just a word of warning: the Clerk of Courts will NOT give you any legal advice.

Not all states and counties HAVE fill-in-the-blank forms.

 

[GrowUp!]

Not all states and counties HAVE fill-in-the-blank forms.

You know what I mean. Most of the forms that I have seen all ask the same information regarding the child and the parents.

 

[ceara19]

You know what I mean. Most of the forms that I have seen all ask the same information regarding the child and the parents.

I know what you mean, but it doesn't mean to OP would. Besides, she's too busy buying the bug spray you suggested to go down to the courthouse.

 

[Ohiogal]

That was exactly my point. Had dad established visitation rights in the beginning, it would have taken the control away from mom and he wouldn't be in this situation.

Sorry I read it as though you meant she couldn't deny visitation due to child support even though there is no custody order. So how was the holiday Ceara? LOL.