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trying in Oregon

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Sabrina26ford

Guest
What is the name of your state? Oregon
First let me say I feel for all the fathers like Raddadthomas.... I some mothers(parents) would just grow up and think of the kids.. but then again don't we all.

Divorce brings out the worst in us all.

I have a few questions... I am new here and hope I fill in the blanks ok for pthalo.. but I have a huge story like most.. So it is easier if I ask the questions and then fill in the blanks as needed...

First if your in Linn County I need help with Standard Linn County Parenting Plan.. please email me @ [email protected]

Second... my fiance who lives in Clackamas County... wants to know that if a religion or church that a CP goes to, and takes the kids to, could be harmful to the children .. is there a chance he could get custody?... The church believes in faith healing.. They do not go to see Dr's. at all. The church a few years back was under state investagation for Child abuse and endangerment. Do to children dying from treatable ailments like diabetes and bee stings..etc... My Fiance use to also attend this church. Does this border on some kind of abuse?

Third... In Oregon are there any laws in place the require a NCP to keep up Visitation.... If a NCP decides to just up and abandon her/his rights to visitation? I know in some states that if a child spends less time with the NCP the are forced to pay a higher CS.
I am wonder if not why not??? We see all the statistics on what happens to children who grow up in one parent homes... and the fatherless homes...do we really want are kids and our countries future to be run with these odds stacked against us???(ok that last lil bit was more of a comment )

Just a lil tiny bit of info... I am a single mom of 3 kids who's BF does pick up the kids for his visitation times.. not even with a phone call to say he won't be coming. We were both ordered by the Judge to make sure we stuck firmly to the schedules. With him arriving on time not making them wait .. and with me making sure I have them packed fed and waiting by the door on the day he is to visit... but if he never comes.. imagine what this routine does to the kids... waiting for a father who refuses to come and get them.. This like all the stories in here is long and drawn out.. if you sincerly think you can help with any of my issues... and know about Oregon laws... please let me know I am more than happy to give a good full verison of both sides... including things I may have done in the wrong.

Thank you
Sincerly
Mommy trying to help her kids maintain a relationship with their Daddy. ( rare i know)
 


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Sabrina26ford

Guest
sorry for all the typos

I guess I should reread it before I click post ... Bare with me please...:p
 
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pthalo

Guest
You really can't force dad to be a dad.. He will or he won't and that is a very sad thing.. You could start documenting instances when dad does not show up.. Take this documentation to the courts and file a modification of visitation... I know this seems backwards from what you are trying to do, but my thoughts here are that two things are going to happen.. Dad will shrug it off and that will show you that he really doesn't care and that you a fighting a battle with yourself, or he will wake up and ask why.. If the latter happens then you have the chance to set a verbal ultimatum that he needs to start following the schedule or you will go through with the court modification..

About the church thing.. How did the courts rule on the cases about child abuse and neglect in reference to that religious faith.. That would be a good litmus test to know how a custody hearing will go especially considering that those cases will come up as prescedents for one of the opposing sides.. I personally think that religion is one of those things that both parents, no matter what the custody arrangement, should be involved in.. JMO
 
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Sabrina26ford

Guest
thanks Pthalo

Ty for the advice on both issues...

Yes I know I can't make a dad be a dad... or a mom be a mom for that matter....
I just find that I can't help but feel that there should be some sort of ..well for lack of a better word punishment... for those that demand they get visitation.. but then force the kids into this false sense of security that they have hopes in being a part of that parents life... The emotional damage this causes is almost unbareable.
Time and time again I read about what the statistics say about what type of children my kids will grow up to be ... by not being involved with their biological father... I DON"T WANT THIS FOR MY KIDS.... I want to do what I can to have a balanced life.. with both parents involved...
I have considered doing the whole change in the parenting plan/visitation.... I just don't the kids as they grow up to be told... well mom took away my rights to see you... I have also thought about just adding an amendment so that he has to give us some sort of resonible notice of his plans so that we can plan our lives instead of waiting around for him.

As far as what the state ordered .. Now don't quote me on this.. and maybe someone from Oregon knows more about this than I do.. but I believe that they ordered that the kids must in life threatening issues must see a dr. .... But if the don't see a dr regualrly how will they know whether or not the illness is life threatening.... let me do more reasearch on that and get back to you..
sorry for not having all my facts...
 
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pthalo

Guest
good resource...

SPARC is a great resource for separated parents...

www.deltabravo.net

Look in the article archive and do research on parenting plans.. There are some good stipulations in some of them that involve notice of non-attendance for both visitation and drop off.
 
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Sabrina26ford

Guest
UPDATE

Ok well I just got off the phone with my prepaid legal advisor.... It appears that I made a mistake to part of the visitation plan....
And I have misread it....

I thought my ex husband was to get the kids every other weekend and every other wednesday.... and that that was included in the summer vacation time.....
I was wrong....
It doesn't durring Summer vacation he only gets to see them....for 2 3 week periods...
WHYYYYYYYYYYY on EARTTTTTTTTHHHHHH
Would any NCP agree to that??????
Well I guess the NCP that want nothing to do with the kids would ... wouldn't he !
Viola there it is....
Sighs damn reality just hit me with a rock.... maybe he really doesn't give a d*** about his children...and maybe it has nothing to do with... well never mind thanks though....

Still working on finding out about the whole religion thing... really would like to see fiance get his kids too...

That would mean 7 kids ...good lord help me..
Mommy of 7
 
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pthalo

Guest
Everyother weekend, wednesdays, and 6 weeks in the summer doesn't sound like he's doing too awfully bad.. It may not be the most that he can spend with the kids but its 100 times better than nothing.. BUT as you said if he doesn't exercise these rights then there in nothing you can do.. If dad was to exercise his right to visitation, I think that it would be a good schedule... BUT that is a moot point considering what you already said..
 
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pthalo

Guest
Scary...

I'm torn in some way.. I am not a religious person per se but I am a spiritual person.. I was raised to make my own decisions when it comes to religion, and in doing so I question and respect all religions.. I am also a father though and this is just downright assinine... I don't want to get into a debate about it b/c I am so torn when it comes to this issue... I will say though that the arguement about the first amendment was pathetic...

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances."
— The First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution

The practice of religion is covered just as it covers belief... If both parents choose to join this religion and are in agreeance with the practices of that religion, then it will be hard to ever prosecute them for making a religious decision.. However if one parent is not a member of that religion and objects to the religion and its practices, then there may be stipulations in the orders that cover issues like medical treatment.. The courts will respect these requests as it is not one parent's decision (in most cases)... If the child or parent cannot be a part of the religion due to this order then they have a choice, their child or their religion.. That's a really easy choice in my opinion...

I hope this helps.. If you want more conversation on this article I am up for it...
 
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Sabrina26ford

Guest
I am getting sick the more I research

PT
I have alot to say.. as you can imagine....
I worry for the well being of my stepchildren as I love them dearly.....Please take a look at this.....
http://www.holysmoke.org/too-far.htm

What really scares me for some strange reason.. why their own cematery??????????????
 
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pthalo

Guest
I'll be back later...

Sabrina I really want to discuss this and I think some others should get involved too.. I have the second link printed and I'll read it in a bit.. I have to go get photos developed...
 
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cjmom

Guest
Sabrina, I know how you feel. Your not alone. My X wouldn't take his visitation, either. It ticked me off so bad that some people had to fight to see their children and here all he had to do was make a phone call to set up a day & time. I would even call him to set things up when it had been too long since the last visit. I always wanted my son's Dad to be a part of his life. Currently he is in prison. Guess that shows how much he really wanted to dee his son, huh. Not so much as a letter from him yet and he has been gone since January.
 

CMSC

Senior Member
Sabrina, unfortunetly faith healing is still considered legal in Oregon. A judge can't take custody away from mom for that because it has not been declared illegal yet. Several states have put some regulations on what can and can't be done in faith healing and that may help lawmakers in Oregon, for example, in Minnesota (I think that is the state) if a child is ill and it seems life threatening and they do not improve in 72 hours the parents need to take them to a doctor or face neglect charges.

You may want to contact Russ Briggs and see what steps he is currently taking in this battle.

Okay as I am typing I am speaking to my husband and he says that you should check bill HB2494, as be believes this bill allows parents to be held criminally negligent. He is such a smarty!!! The new bill states "The House also passed a provision that makes faith-healing parents liable for injuries that don't cause death, but only for children up to the age of 15. We think that is unfortunate to say that parents of 16- and 17-year-olds don't have to provide medical care for them."
 
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Sabrina26ford

Guest
Thanks I added a new post

Thanks to those who have commented thus far.... I know this is a sticky situation...

I have added a new post just for help with My fiances Problem called religon and custody....(updated)


Please continue to offer advice on both posts...
 
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Sabrina26ford

Guest
I guess I have decided as far as my issue goes it is a mute point... but thanks all
 

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