What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? WI
Quick recap:
Son is 6 years old. For first three years of his life, mom and I (dad) shared joint custody and approx. 50/50 placement. When son was 3 I was awarded primary placement, mom got two weekends a month, some holidays, most of the summer.
Although I was not satisfied with the above schedule, I was advised by my attorney that it was probably going to be the best I could walk away with, and we settled before trial.
Mom's behavior continued to worsen, and November 07 she met and started dating a man with a very long and violent criminal record. I requested of mom that her boyfriend not drive my son at all, as his license was currently revoked for multiple DUIs. She ignored my request.
Following the first weekend that my son spent with his mom in which the BF was present, my son came home very upset but unwilling to talk to me about it. The next day after preschool one of his teachers told my wife that my son was really "out of it" and seemed "borderline traumatized."
In March, my son reported to his school that mom's BF punched him in the stomach. Teacher called CPS. CPS called mom, who said that my son made it up. CPS screened the complaint out. The next time son went to visit mom, my son said the BF hit him in the stomach and the face. I started taking my son to a therapist, who believes my son has been hurt by mom's BF. Because the BF is on probation, I contacted his probation office who instituted a no contact order between my son and the BF until August of 09 (when his probation ends).
In July, neighbors called the police on mom for locking my son outside her trailer at 10:00 at night because he didn't want to go to bed. He was still locked outside when the police arrived.
I filed a motion in May, heard in July, mom lost custody and placement. She said she didn't want any placement if it meant having to do a home study. My atty requested the judge read her the TPR statutes and mom agreed. The judge said she didn't think it was a good idea. A request for a new hearing was made (I believe by mom's mother, as mom was adamant that she did not want placement anymore).
Mom married her BF. She is currently allowed to see him supervised by her sister, in my hometown (she lives almost 200 miles away). She sees him about once a month, on a Saturday and a Sunday, for about 7-8 hours. (Not that it matters, but her mother sets up the visits and is always present as well).
We recently completed a home study which recommended that she get two weekends a month, one here and one in her home town, and extended weekends in the summer.
I feel as though the recommendation completely missed the point. However, again I am at the point where I am beginning to get scared about what the outcome of court might be. Things are bad but are they bad enough. While I know that there is no way we are going to settle before trial this time, I want to go into it with a very reasonable request. I don't know what that is though. I am consumed with worry for my son and I know that I am probably not realistic in my desires for the future. I understand and want for my son to have a relationship with his mother. He needs that. However, he needs to be protected at the same time. Mom's erratic behaviors have put him in danger countless times, and her mental state is highly questionable (she continues to deny that her now-husband ever hit my son, although my son claims she was standing right there when it happened).
My son loves the current situation. He loves to be able to stay in our town, and he prefers seeing his mom the amount that he does, although he sometimes cries when he has to go see her even just one day. I completely support him having a relationship with her and have worked hard the past few months to come up with some semblance of a schedule of telephone contact. I offered her all of Christmas Day, but she did not want it.
Given the distance (~200 miles), the "child welfare concerns", and the current situation, what would be a reasonable expectation to go into trial with?
My opinion would be to continue once a month visits, gradually reintroducing her husband back into son's life, and eventually moving visits back to her hometown. My feeling is that she cannot handle the responsibility of really caring for son for long periods of time and think that extended periods during the summer would not be a good idea. Would Thursday-Sunday nights twice a month be reasonable? Am I completely off base?
Quick recap:
Son is 6 years old. For first three years of his life, mom and I (dad) shared joint custody and approx. 50/50 placement. When son was 3 I was awarded primary placement, mom got two weekends a month, some holidays, most of the summer.
Although I was not satisfied with the above schedule, I was advised by my attorney that it was probably going to be the best I could walk away with, and we settled before trial.
Mom's behavior continued to worsen, and November 07 she met and started dating a man with a very long and violent criminal record. I requested of mom that her boyfriend not drive my son at all, as his license was currently revoked for multiple DUIs. She ignored my request.
Following the first weekend that my son spent with his mom in which the BF was present, my son came home very upset but unwilling to talk to me about it. The next day after preschool one of his teachers told my wife that my son was really "out of it" and seemed "borderline traumatized."
In March, my son reported to his school that mom's BF punched him in the stomach. Teacher called CPS. CPS called mom, who said that my son made it up. CPS screened the complaint out. The next time son went to visit mom, my son said the BF hit him in the stomach and the face. I started taking my son to a therapist, who believes my son has been hurt by mom's BF. Because the BF is on probation, I contacted his probation office who instituted a no contact order between my son and the BF until August of 09 (when his probation ends).
In July, neighbors called the police on mom for locking my son outside her trailer at 10:00 at night because he didn't want to go to bed. He was still locked outside when the police arrived.
I filed a motion in May, heard in July, mom lost custody and placement. She said she didn't want any placement if it meant having to do a home study. My atty requested the judge read her the TPR statutes and mom agreed. The judge said she didn't think it was a good idea. A request for a new hearing was made (I believe by mom's mother, as mom was adamant that she did not want placement anymore).
Mom married her BF. She is currently allowed to see him supervised by her sister, in my hometown (she lives almost 200 miles away). She sees him about once a month, on a Saturday and a Sunday, for about 7-8 hours. (Not that it matters, but her mother sets up the visits and is always present as well).
We recently completed a home study which recommended that she get two weekends a month, one here and one in her home town, and extended weekends in the summer.
I feel as though the recommendation completely missed the point. However, again I am at the point where I am beginning to get scared about what the outcome of court might be. Things are bad but are they bad enough. While I know that there is no way we are going to settle before trial this time, I want to go into it with a very reasonable request. I don't know what that is though. I am consumed with worry for my son and I know that I am probably not realistic in my desires for the future. I understand and want for my son to have a relationship with his mother. He needs that. However, he needs to be protected at the same time. Mom's erratic behaviors have put him in danger countless times, and her mental state is highly questionable (she continues to deny that her now-husband ever hit my son, although my son claims she was standing right there when it happened).
My son loves the current situation. He loves to be able to stay in our town, and he prefers seeing his mom the amount that he does, although he sometimes cries when he has to go see her even just one day. I completely support him having a relationship with her and have worked hard the past few months to come up with some semblance of a schedule of telephone contact. I offered her all of Christmas Day, but she did not want it.
Given the distance (~200 miles), the "child welfare concerns", and the current situation, what would be a reasonable expectation to go into trial with?
My opinion would be to continue once a month visits, gradually reintroducing her husband back into son's life, and eventually moving visits back to her hometown. My feeling is that she cannot handle the responsibility of really caring for son for long periods of time and think that extended periods during the summer would not be a good idea. Would Thursday-Sunday nights twice a month be reasonable? Am I completely off base?
