ugly divorce and custody situation with an alcoholic

[FC3_navyman]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia, and Minnesota

I am about to get a divorce with my alcoholic wife. I am in the navy so i wouldn't be able to take care of my two daughters (a new born and a 2 year old). But i don't trust my wife to take them back to Minnesota with her because i know that she is going to start drinking heavier and probably start doing drugs again and neglect my daughters. I want to just have my mother come pick them up and take them back to Texas with her but i don't want it to be considered kidnapping or something. What am I leagally able to do in this situation as a father in the military?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia, and Minnesota

I am about to get a divorce with my alcoholic wife. I am in the navy so i wouldn't be able to take care of my two daughters (a new born and a 2 year old). But i don't trust my wife to take them back to Minnesota with her because i know that she is going to start drinking heavier and probably start doing drugs again and neglect my daughters. I want to just have my mother come pick them up and take them back to Texas with her but i don't want it to be considered kidnapping or something. What am I leagally able to do in this situation as a father in the military?

You and your wife are the ONLY people with legal rights to these children; if you hand over the children to your mother your wife can and may go and collect them at her discretion and there would be very little (if anything) either you, or your mother, could do.

You cannot use "she might", "I think she will" and/or "probably" to justify taking Mom's rights away - you're going to need much, much more than that.

Are you currently active duty?

 

[FC3_navyman]

yes I am active until 2014. And the fact of the matter is that i know she will start to drink heavy and start using drugs again because that is what she did when I left for boot camp. Luckily she was living with my mother so my mom took care of everything ( financial, getting my wife help, ect.) but my mom moved to Texas and my wife's family is in Minnesota. The only place that she would have to stay is with her parents who have been in and out of homless shelters and living of the government checks they get from their disabled daughter that lives with them. I cant send my kids to that. I don't know what to do.

 

[LdiJ]

yes I am active until 2014. And the fact of the matter is that i know she will start to drink heavy and start using drugs again because that is what she did when I left for boot camp. Luckily she was living with my mother so my mom took care of everything ( financial, getting my wife help, ect.) but my mom moved to Texas and my wife's family is in Minnesota. The only place that she would have to stay is with her parents who have been in and out of homless shelters and living of the government checks they get from their disabled daughter that lives with them. I cant send my kids to that. I don't know what to do.

Well, you certainly cannot turn the children over to your mother. It looks to me like you really don't have much choice in the matter. If you are deployable and cannot take primary custody, then the children are going to be with their mother, period, point blank.

 

[Proserpina]

yes I am active until 2014. And the fact of the matter is that i know she will start to drink heavy and start using drugs again because that is what she did when I left for boot camp.

I know what you're saying but you don't know that for a fact at all - and "might" is not going to be enough.

Luckily she was living with my mother so my mom took care of everything ( financial, getting my wife help, ect.) but my mom moved to Texas and my wife's family is in Minnesota. The only place that she would have to stay is with her parents who have been in and out of homless shelters and living of the government checks they get from their disabled daughter that lives with them. I cant send my kids to that. I don't know what to do.

Again you cannot know this will happen. Mom is going to have the kids unless and until she's proven unfit. You might want to pop over to deltabravo.net and see if anyone can offer a workable solution.

 

[Ohiogal]

Truthfully if you are that concerned then this is an issue that will result in you choosing between your career and your children. You may have to attempt to be honorably discharged from the military. Talk to your command regarding workable solutions.