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underage marriage

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marriage_helpme

Junior Member
What is the name of your state? tennessee
Hello,
My mother was never married to my father,he has
never been in my life, and does not have his last name
on my birth certificate. So there is no custody
papers. My mother has decided to let me get married at
the age of sixteen but she told me to get incontact
with a lawyer to see if the age of the guy mattered.
he will be twentyfive by the time I turn sixteen. The
way my mother and I understand it, as long as the guy
and I do not have sex then he can not be caught for
Statutory Rape, but we do not know if they will let us
have a marrige license or not. I hope you can email me
back and let me know whether the fact that my father
can not consist with my mother and if the age of the
guy I want to marry is going to pervent my getting my
marriage license.

Thank you very much,
marriage_helpme
 


stealth2

Under the Radar Member
Girl, I'm not even going to look what the laws are in TN for a situation as yours. 16 is way too young to get married. In addition, the major reason why guys like yours get involved with girls like you is because they are not mature enough to be with women their own age. A 16yo is much easier to control. Until the 16yo grows up and is an adult in her own right - often leading to an abusive situation when the guy realizes that he's losing the control he had over the girl.

I'm not going to help someone get into this situation. And your mother needs her head examined. Sorry.
 

ldkirby

Member
If you have already been to an attorney to see if this man will get in trouble for marrying a child, then you can go back and ask him/her about the consent question.

I agree with stealth...there are a few reasons that grown men want to marry children, and none of them are good.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
TN 39-13-506. Statutory rape.Statute text

(a) Statutory rape is sexual penetration of a victim by the defendant or of the defendant by the victim when the victim is at least thirteen (13) but less than eighteen (18) years of age and the defendant is at least four (4) years older than the victim.
 

cbg

I'm a Northern Girl
YES age matters.

Yes, he can get into trouble, and so can your mother for permitting this.

Like stealth, I'm not going to help anyone ruin their life. If you want to screw up the lives of all three of you, be it on your own head.
 

marriage_helpme

Junior Member
look at this ..

i got this from the same place you got your information at,

AGE TO MARRY/AGE OF CONSENT
by Attorney Jes Beard
FROM: (http://jesbeard.com/1b.htm)

Age to Marry --
Under Tennessee law, a person must be at least 16 years old before they can get a marriage license, and a
marriage license is required for anyone to get married. TCA 36-3-105. For anyone less than 18, both parents or
the guardian or next of kin must join in the application for a marriage license. TCA 36-3-106. If either party is
less than 18, even if both parents sign the application, there will be a three day waiting period before the marriage
license is issued. TCA 36-3-104.

If the parents or guardian or next of kin won't join in applying for a marriage license, the couple can still get a
marriage license in Tennessee if the judge of the probate, juvenile, circuit or chancery court, or county executive
approves it. TCA 36-3-107. The judge of the probate, juvenile, circuit or chancery court, or county executive
can also waive the three day waiting period required for anyone under 18 to get a marriage license.

And even if there was some defect in the way the license was issued, or either party was less than 18 and
failed to get the required approval and the license was issued anyway, the marriage is still considered legal,
although it can be annulled.

Age of Consent --
Tennessee's rule on the age of consent, the age at which a girl (or boy) can legally consent to sexual
relations is unforgiving. Under T.C.A 39-13-506, if an adult has sex with a minor less than 18 years old, and the
adult (anyone older than 18) is at least four years older than the minor, the adult just committed statutory rape, a
Class E felony, carrying up to six years in prison. (Though the law is supposed to be applied the same whether
the minor is a boy or girl, these situations almost always involve underage girls, so that is what I will refer to.)
Now, the unforgiving part of the law is that it makes no difference how old the girl looked, or said she was, or
what the man thought her age was -- if she was under age, then sex with her was a felony.

The only exception is if the girl is married to her sexual partner. Then it doesn't matter if she is under age, or
if the man she is with (her husband) is more than four years older than she is
.

If the girl was between 13 and 14, then her boyfriend could be convicted of Statutory Rape if he was four
years older than her, even if he is also a minor.

If the girl is less than 13, then she can not consent to have sex with anyone, and sexual contact with the girl
is Aggravated Sexual Battery, a class B felony, meaning you could do up to 30 years in prison, even if the girl
consented, started it, had previously had sex with others or even was working as a prostitute, and even if you are
a minor yourself when you have sex with her.

What this means is that if the girl is between age 13 and 18 she can consent to have sex with someone up to
four years older than she is, but for anyone older than that it is statutory rape, and for any girl less than 13, she is
too young to consent to having sex with anyone. The sole exception is that if the girl was legally married to her
sexual partner at the time they had sex.


im mostly referring to the part that states ... "the only exception is if the girl is married to her sexual partner then it does not matter if she is underage, or if the man she is with (her husband) is more than four years older than she"
 

JMC3370

Junior Member
Please, Please sweetie. I did exactly what you are speaking of in your post, so I am speaking from experience here. I married the guy I was seeing at 16, and he was 24 years old. (I became pregnant)
These folks on here know what they are talking about. I can tell you it was a living HELL. I had a child with this man, who changed personalities once he had my name on a marriage certificate. I lived through 14 years of mental and sometimes physical abuse. He controlled my life for 14 years. I wish I had listened to those who told me what I didn't want to hear at the time. Men who look for someone way younger than themselves are usually only doing it because they cannot relate to peers their own age. They are looking for someone easily persuaded, someone they can manipulate because you think the world of them, and don't know any better. I promise you, however wonderful he is to you now, it will change once you make the mistake of marrying him, and heaven forbid, bring a child into it also.
Ask yourself, why doesn't he date women his own age? Please learn from the mistake I made. I am 35 years old with a 17 year old son, and I finally had the courage to divorce him almost 5 years ago. I am finally no longer controlled, and I am working on finishing a degree in Nursing (my lifelong dream). I have had to work to raise my son by myself pretty much the entire time, as my exhusband did what he wanted, when he wanted, etc...
If he truly loves you, he can wait until you are an adult and have finished your education, started a career and lived a life before he moves in on you. If he cannot wait, ask yourself why.
Sorry the post is so long, but child, take it from someone who knows, this man should be pursiung women in his own age group instead of taking advantage of a young girl such as yourself.
 

marriage_helpme

Junior Member
Thanks for your story. Me and this guy have desided to serperate untill im almost 18. Right now i have another thread goin that im trying to get information about college so that i can be prepared before i do get married if i do. people dont understand that i wasnt just goin to throuhg my life away. He knew that i have things like school that came first and he understood that. Marriage was just a thing so that we could live together and be together and go to school together, it would have made things alot easier on us. But that is not goin to happen now, for a lil white at least. but like i said thanks for the story.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I replied on that other thread, but I will also say it here. At your age, you need to stay in HS and focus on your classes. Your writing indicates that you are nowhere near ready to move on to college.
 

AHA

Senior Member
marriage_helpme said:
Marriage was just a thing so that we could live together and be together and go to school together.
That's not really a good enough reason to get married. You can still live and be together but just be dating. You don't have to commit to someone for life on a piece of paper in order to be with someone.
 

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