Unfair Divorce Decree. Help

[Ethan Schneiter]

I'm from Utah. My mother had mental illnesses. My mother went to prison during her mental crisis. My father had my mother sign an unfair divorce decree when she was in no rational state of mind to sign it and she was psychotic. He made an unfair deal with an unfair "lawyer", and they took advantage of her mental illness to make it happen. The divorce decree made it so my dad didn't have to pay a fair amount of alimony and he lied about information on alimony and child support in order to avoid paying the right amount. This decree was signed in 2012. My mom has had custody of me and my siblings and during that time, my dad didn't pay the right amount. I am about to be 18 and my older sister is 19, but I still live with my mom and we have struggled so much for so long because of the unfair decree. My mom hasn't fought hard enough for the money, and I think that my dad should have to pay. Just because he's rich and can afford to twist the law. It's not fair. My mom went into massive credit card debt because she had no money to spend to take care of us. I do not feel that my dad has done his job as a parent. He's selfish and neglectful. I can talk so much about the neglect and even abuse that he has done. We have been financially struggling for so long. My mom doesn't seem that hopeful about getting him to pay, which is why I'm here to ask you what can my mom do to get him to pay the money that he didn't pay for all those years, and how can I or my 19 year old sister help support this cause? Please tell me the circumstances of what can be done based off of this? It's so not fair. Please help me.

 

[latigo]

I'm from Utah. My mother had mental illnesses. My mother went to prison during her mental crisis. My father had my mother sign an unfair divorce decree when she was in no rational state of mind to sign it and she was psychotic. He made an unfair deal with an unfair "lawyer", and they took advantage of her mental illness to make it happen. The divorce decree made it so my dad didn't have to pay a fair amount of alimony and he lied about information on alimony and child support in order to avoid paying the right amount. This decree was signed in 2012. My mom has had custody of me and my siblings and during that time, my dad didn't pay the right amount. I am about to be 18 and my older sister is 19, but I still live with my mom and we have struggled so much for so long because of the unfair decree. My mom hasn't fought hard enough for the money, and I think that my dad should have to pay. Just because he's rich and can afford to twist the law. It's not fair. My mom went into massive credit card debt because she had no money to spend to take care of us. I do not feel that my dad has done his job as a parent. He's selfish and neglectful. I can talk so much about the neglect and even abuse that he has done. We have been financially struggling for so long. My mom doesn't seem that hopeful about getting him to pay, which is why I'm here to ask you what can my mom do to get him to pay the money that he didn't pay for all those years, and how can I or my 19 year old sister help support this cause? Please tell me the circumstances of what can be done based off of this? It's so not fair. Please help me.

Not sure what sort of "help" you expect, but it won't come in the form of telling you how to overturn a divorce decree six years after the fact!

Your family's financial straits and impoverishment are saddening and most regretful, but unfortunately it is far too late to reopen your parents' divorce case and revisit those support issues.

There exists in this country a public policy favoring the finality of judgments and attempting to reopen the case because of alleged fraud or coercion at this late date would be contrary to that policy.

But for God's sake don't continue to wallow in your sorrows over the past! Move forward with your life and commit to make something of yourself that will make your mother proud.

Good luck

 

[Shadowbunny]

I'm from Utah. My mother had mental illnesses. My mother went to prison during her mental crisis. My father had my mother sign an unfair divorce decree when she was in no rational state of mind to sign it and she was psychotic. He made an unfair deal with an unfair "lawyer", and they took advantage of her mental illness to make it happen. The divorce decree made it so my dad didn't have to pay a fair amount of alimony and he lied about information on alimony and child support in order to avoid paying the right amount. This decree was signed in 2012. My mom has had custody of me and my siblings and during that time, my dad didn't pay the right amount. I am about to be 18 and my older sister is 19, but I still live with my mom and we have struggled so much for so long because of the unfair decree. My mom hasn't fought hard enough for the money, and I think that my dad should have to pay. Just because he's rich and can afford to twist the law. It's not fair. My mom went into massive credit card debt because she had no money to spend to take care of us. I do not feel that my dad has done his job as a parent. He's selfish and neglectful. I can talk so much about the neglect and even abuse that he has done. We have been financially struggling for so long. My mom doesn't seem that hopeful about getting him to pay, which is why I'm here to ask you what can my mom do to get him to pay the money that he didn't pay for all those years, and how can I or my 19 year old sister help support this cause? Please tell me the circumstances of what can be done based off of this? It's so not fair. Please help me.

Ethan, did your dad pay the child support that he was ordered to pay? Or is/was he behind in his child support? If he was in arrears (meaning he didn't pay the child support he was ordered to pay) then your Mom (not you) may be able to get help through the State of Utah: http://ors.utah.gov/child_support_services.htm

 

[not2cleverRed]

Life isn't fair.

It really isn't.

So stop dwelling on "fair", because that isn't helping you.

It is too late to do anything about the divorce decree. There was a very narrow window your mother had to do anything about that.

For some reason your mother was awarded physical custody it sounds like, even though you allege that she was not mentally competent stick up for herself during the divorce action. I find that odd. There have been many people who would use such a situation to have the other parent declared unfit, and get full custody.

You and your sister are both legal adults. If you have completed high school (or dropped out), then unless the decree states otherwise (such as while a full time student at college), your father no longer has any obligation to pay child support. However, if he did not pay child support as ordered in the decree, he may still owe arrears.

Child support as ordered in a divorce decree is one of the things that can be modified after the decree is final, due to changes in circumstance. Your mother did not seek a modification. It is too late now.

Sorry, but life isn't fair.

The good news: you don't have to visit or maintain a relationship with Dad as an adult.

 

[Zigner]

Ethan, did your dad pay the child support that he was ordered to pay? Or is/was he behind in his child support? If he was in arrears (meaning he didn't pay the child support he was ordered to pay) then your Mom (not you) may be able to get help through the State of Utah: http://ors.utah.gov/child_support_services.htm

The OP says that his dad didn't have to pay what the OP feels is the "right" amount. He didn't say that dad didn't pay (although, it's a possibility.)

 

[Shadowbunny]

The OP says that his dad didn't have to pay what the OP feels is the "right" amount. He didn't say that dad didn't pay (although, it's a possibility.)

Yeah, that's why I asked for clarification. I have a feeling that dad paid what was ordered, but on the off-chance that he didn't, I thought I'd offer some direction.

 

[xylene]

Your mom is unfair for being a convict because of untreated mental illness and in burdening you with divorce guilt and all these hardships as you enter adulthood.

Not saying thats exactly how it is but, you can flip the code on this easily enough.

Gonna need to let go of the black and white thinking and craft your own adult life. It's not easy but as an 18 year old starting out, reliving your parents divorce pain is gonna be a stumbling block. Try to get some couseling, even some peer 2 peer help.