Unfit environment?

[Concerned citizen]

What is the name of your state? SC

I personally am not in SC but the child is. Here's the story.
The child is 16. Last year she told her stepmom that stepdad raped her and the step mom sat with her while she told her mom. Long story short he hung himself in the house they live in because he didn't want to go to jail. She was to go through therapy etc but her mom hasn't really followed up on that and it's all a big secret...instead he is put on a pedestal and she lives with everyone thinking he was a saint and even she believes it...so apparently she thinks if he was so great than she was the issue and reason he killed himself...now the father and stepmom just found out that the mother and kids came home and someone staying with them has od'd and they found them and the guy is on life support and they've lost him several times.The mother always has people staying there... The child has to share a room with adult couples a lot of times. And the house is a pig sty. She lost the kids years ago because of the conditions of the place and dss was told the father wasn't in her life so they never contacted him and he found out after she got them back.

The child is 16 on Prozac. She is good in school and all but has a hard life there. In my opinion she should not be there. The father and stepmom moved and lives 12 hours away. Nice couple, don't drink, do drugs etc. The child has her own room there any time she wants to come. They live in the country on a farm with horses and both have good respectable jobs and a very clean home. I can't stress enough the filth inside and out of the home the child lives in. And I do not mean clutter. I went there one time and the little kids were crawling around in weeds that were the back yard and we're at least 2 foot high picking up beer cans strewn all over the yard...those children were under 9 years old...I want to help with finding out what the father needs to do to get his daughter out of this house. They cannot afford an attorney at this time.

 

[adjusterjack]

They cannot afford an attorney at this time.

These kinds of posts always seem to end with that.

If the conditions are so bad, call Child Protective Services.

It's that simple.

 

[Concerned citizen]

I'm sorry if you don't like it ending with that. He pays child support and they both have good jobs they love (airport and hotel) but neither pay great. They pay their bills but don't have loads left to pay thousands for an attorney.

 

[Just Blue]

I'm sorry if you don't like it ending with that. He pays child support and they both have good jobs they love (airport and hotel) but neither pay great. They pay their bills but don't have loads left to pay thousands for an attorney.

Who are you in this situation?

 

[Just Blue]

I'm sorry if you don't like it ending with that. He pays child support and they both have good jobs they love (airport and hotel) but neither pay great. They pay their bills but don't have loads left to pay thousands for an attorney.

I bet they can dig up a few hundred for a consult. And who are you in this situation? A friend? Family member?

 

[CJane]

If the child being RAPED by her stepfather wasn't enough for the child's father to attempt to get custody, but he files for a modification because the house is dirty, he's going to look like he's completely insane.

 

[Concerned citizen]

I bet they can dig up a few hundred for a consult. And who are you in this situation? A friend? Family member?

Step sister

 

[Concerned citizen]

If the child being RAPED by her stepfather wasn't enough for the child's father to attempt to get custody, but he files for a modification because the house is dirty, he's going to look like he's completely insane.

Really? Did you read? First of all she didn't tell for a year after it happened. So no forensic proof was there. They did take her until the mother got moved from the home where the step father was. It was made clear that they would take her if she went back into the home. The step father then hung himself. This was all within a few days not enough time to go to court or even get an appointment with an attorney. As for because the house is dirty. No geesh you people aren't here to help you are here to criticize. The house is beyond dirty. The house was bad enough for dss to take the children before and from my understanding is close to the same again. But it's not even about that so much as the mother bringing people in to live there, different people all the time, a 16 year old sharing a room with a make and female in their 20s who drink party etc. And coming home to one of the people who apparently was or is living there laid out overdosed on God knows what. So stop the snide remarks and help if you can or jump on someone else's post who came here for sarcasm and not help.

 

[CdwJava]

Dad needs to buckle down and get an attorney and make a case for custody. Sadly, you may not be getting the whole story since you are not apparently around to see or experience the mom's household first hand.

CPS is not some miracle program. They have to act within the limits and the scope of the laws of the state where they operate. This can sometimes make it difficult to permanently deprive a parent of custody, especially in an instance when there is no proof of the allegation only an accusation that came out a year later. Sadly, delayed reports by teenagers can be viewed with a great deal of skepticism for a host of reasons. And, taking a child permanently from mom without really good cause is not at all likely. That leaves DAD to have to make a case for primary or sole legal custody.

Dad needs to hire an attorney in SC and begin legal proceedings. If he can build a good case, he ought to have a good shot. But,if he does nothing then there will be no change. And, if you want to help the dad, maybe you can help with legal expenses.

 

[stealth2]

The best help you can provide is to tell Dad (Dad, not you or stepmom masquerading as him - sorry, that happens all too often) to create an account in his own name and post for himself. Really - there will be questions that only he can answer. Thank you.
---------------------------------
ETA further thoughts... How often does Dad see his 16yo, given he lives 12 hours away? Why did he move so far from his child? Are any of the other children his?

 

[HRZ]

FIlth and clutter does make one an unfit parent ...HOWEVER if the filth and clutter are health hazards or there are vermin there that is a code violation ..that may be different ..school counselors or nurse are mandatory reporters ...young lady might start there ...with facts and even pictures/videos ..

three to a room may not be " healthy" but it may not be a violation of any rule . Local to me there are codes issues as to occupancy by too many unrelated people but we have no clue as to her local issues , if any.

 

[stealth2]

FIlth and clutter does NOT make one an unfit parent ...HOWEVER if the filth and clutter are health hazards or there are vermin there that is a code violation ..that may be different ..school counselors or nurse are mandatory reporters ...young lady might start there ...with facts and even pictures/videos ..

three to a room may not be " healthy" but it may not be a violation of any rule . Local to me there are codes issues as to occupancy by too many unrelated people but we have no clue as to her local issues , if any.

Fixed the first part for you.

 

[CJane]

Really? Did you read? First of all she didn't tell for a year after it happened. So no forensic proof was there. They did take her until the mother got moved from the home where the step father was. It was made clear that they would take her if she went back into the home. The step father then hung himself. This was all within a few days not enough time to go to court or even get an appointment with an attorney. As for because the house is dirty. No geesh you people aren't here to help you are here to criticize. The house is beyond dirty. The house was bad enough for dss to take the children before and from my understanding is close to the same again. But it's not even about that so much as the mother bringing people in to live there, different people all the time, a 16 year old sharing a room with a make and female in their 20s who drink party etc. And coming home to one of the people who apparently was or is living there laid out overdosed on God knows what. So stop the snide remarks and help if you can or jump on someone else's post who came here for sarcasm and not help.

I get it, but none of that changes the way a judge is going to look at things. You don't need forensic proof for a custody modification. StepMom should have told Dad IMMEDIATELY upon finding out, and should have left a man-shaped hole in the wall as he RAN to the police and the courts for emergency custody. He did not.

THEN, when StepDad killed himself, Dad should have filed for a modification of custody. He did not.

THEN, when the child wasn't provided with therapy as directed by DSS, Dad should have filed for a modification of custody. He did not.

THEN, when the roommate overdosed, Dad should have filed for a modification of custody. He did not.

So why should the courts worry NOW, based on your assertions that the house is filthy? I guarantee you, most people I know have filthy homes by MY standards. I've only ever known ONE person to have DSS involved because of unclean conditions, and not only was their house a perfect fit for Hoarders, but the roof was caving in, and they had no functioning water or heat. And THAT wasn't enough for the other parent to get custody, only for DSS to provide cleaning/repair services.

I'm sorry you don't like the answers, but I assure you, I'm not being sarcastic. I'm SHOCKED that none of the above has motivated Dad to secure a better environment for his child.

 

[CTU]

Really? Did you read? First of all she didn't tell for a year after it happened. So no forensic proof was there. They did take her until the mother got moved from the home where the step father was. It was made clear that they would take her if she went back into the home. The step father then hung himself. This was all within a few days not enough time to go to court or even get an appointment with an attorney. As for because the house is dirty. No geesh you people aren't here to help you are here to criticize. The house is beyond dirty. The house was bad enough for dss to take the children before and from my understanding is close to the same again. But it's not even about that so much as the mother bringing people in to live there, different people all the time, a 16 year old sharing a room with a make and female in their 20s who drink party etc. And coming home to one of the people who apparently was or is living there laid out overdosed on God knows what. So stop the snide remarks and help if you can or jump on someone else's post who came here for sarcasm and not help.

Given that this is not your legal business to begin with, you don't get to criticize the kind volunteers who have so far tolerated your presence with great patience.

Really.

 

[Shadowbunny]

I applaud your concern about your sister; it sounds like she's gone through some horrifying experiences. The absolute best thing you can do for her now is this: 1) send Dad the link to this site so he can sign up for his own account. That way we can advise him, directly, on some steps he can take; and 2) continue to provide as much emotional support for your sister as you can.

Also, if school hasn't already let out, encourage her to talk to a teacher, guidance counselor, or other trusted adult.