Unmarried Mother for full custody

[MAMAMAMA752]

I am in Virginia. I have filed for full custody of my son who was just born in November. I was never married to the father and his name is not on the birth certificate. He was disrespectful, threatening, and inconsiderate during my pregnancy so I had stopped communicating with him, including blocking his number for a while because he continued to harass me.

I did this because the stress was actually causing me complications and physical pain. I am getting help from my mother for the first few weeks and therefore I am in a different city, same state.

I tried to send a text while I was in the hospital that I was about to give birth to the father and his phone did not recieve it. Once he received the paperwork about mediation for custody he called me accusing me of trying to keep his son away from him.

This is not true because not only did I file for custody, I filed for him to have visitation, which was completely optional.

Do I have to give him joint custody or I may appear to be trying to keep his son from him? I dont mind joint physical custody but he is not trustworthy so I dont want him to have joint legal custody.

Verbal agreements cannot be trusted with him, and this is why I'm filing to do everything legally now. I cannot afford a lawyer, and he can. Also it will just be his word against mine about the way I was treated, which he is already trying to disprove.

I'm a little upset and I'm not sure what to do? Please advise me.

 

[Isis1]

i'm confused a bit. you are okay with phyically sharing the baby. which is great by the way! but you don't want him to have joint legal?

are you aware of what joint legal is? and the difference of joint physical and sole physical?

the norm in most states is sole physical and joint legal custody, or joint physical and joint legal.

nothing you stated says anything to a judge about giving you sole legal. at least not at this early date.

and you filing to GIVE dad visitation rights....pfftttt. dad can go eat his own socks on that one. you didn't even have to do THAT!

 

[my life is mine]

Actually the norm in VA is primary physical custody to one parent and joint legal to both parents. Normally joint legal is not taken away unless there has been proof that there is has been difficulty with particular things such has education or medical then usually a Judge will order something like one parent has sole legal discretion on a particular thing.